adoption or pregnancy?

Question

i'm a little confused. i don't know which would be better. i'm so scared of having needles and cesarian that i'm thinking about adoption. i know this wouldn't be easy and that it would take a long time. i just need some advice. i know that it'll be hard for me to get pregnant anyway as my cycles are approx 90 days long.

Answer 1

Only you can answer that. The 2 are very different. Being an adoptee, I am all for adoption. I think you need to do lots of research and talk to your doctor regarding delivery because to adopt just because you are afraid of pain or of what will happen at the last minute, you may end up regretting it. Please resolve your feelings before you make any decisions.

Answer 2

When it comes to adoption and pregnancy, one is not better than the other, rather you should choose which ever one feels like the 'right choice'. I personally am strongly in favour of adoption as I equate it with having a biological child, but with adoption you're helping a child who is already in this world. Having said that, being scared of giving birth might not be the best reason for choosing adoption, and you should make sure you understand all about adoption before making that choice (though, you should do the same for having a biological child).

International adoption can actually has a faster timeline than having a biological child (the time it takes to get pregnant and the 9 months that you are pregnant), which can take even longer if you are having a difficult time conceiving.
Domestic adoption, at least in Canada, can take years if you would like to adopt a healthy caucasian infant, but has a much shorter timeline if you're open to adopting a slightly older child, or a non-caucasian or bi-racial child.

Regardless of whether you choose adoption or actually giving birth as a method of bringing a child in to your home, you will consider the child 'as your own' and love them 'as your own'. After researching both options (fertility treatments if you find you're having trouble conceiving, and adoption both international and domestic) and really thinking about your options, whatever choice you make will be a good one.
Good Luck!

Answer 3

Wow. You have an amazingly long cycle.

Pregnancy is a bit frightening. Fear of the unknown sometimes gets the best of us. But the same can be said for adoption.

I'm fertile. I have one child and want to give birth to another - but I have always dreamed of adopting. I'd like to have as many children as my house can hold. I'd be willing to adopt domestically or internationally. It means a great deal to me.

If I were in your shoes, I'd begin the adoption process and start trying for a child at the same time. It would be stressful for you either way. But neither is a bad choice. Even though labor isn't a cakewalk, it's a beautiful, incredible thing. I will never in my life regret the decision to have a child.

At the same time, there are so many children in this world desperately needing a home. I'd give one to all of them if I could. You can't go wrong, no matter what you decide. Let your heart lead the way.

Answer 4

I would say if it turns out you cant have children then you should adopt of course.
But i wouldnt adopt just for the sake of missing out on the pain etc.
There are loads of couples who cannot have children who are better on those ultra long adoption waiting lists, rather than you taking one of the precious spaces instead of facing a few minor fears.

I dont mean to sound nasty but i dont think any pregnant person looks forward to the pain and the needles, the uncomforts etc.
No pain - no gain.

I am 32 weeks pregnant at the min, i have a fear of getting blood taken. I also fear that the birth may end up as a c-section. lol no turning back now :) but i know that it will all be worth it to have a happy healthy little babe of my own.

Answer 5

Adoption or pregnancy is entirely up to you. Your irregular periods don't mean you can't get pregnant. I was told that I wouldn't be able to conceive because I only have a period every 4 mos. and they're only 4 days long. I have 3 kids, all conceived without help. All 13 months apart from each other.I would try getting pregnant first & you don't have to be scared there is nothing to it. I had 3 c-secs and survived. If all else fails by all means adopt you would be doing a great thing but don't give up on your self if you haven't tried to get pregnant give it a shot. There is no greater bond than carrying that baby inside of you. But the choice is yours go with your gut not your fears. Good Luck :)

Answer 6

I think either would be wonderful. I can't wait until I have my own biological child for many reaons, but as an adoptee myself -- one quite minor but exciting reaon is so I can share my genes with someone who will be in my life. On the other hand, I am looking to adopting someday because there are so many children out there without homes and families of their own. Its almost like returning the favor, as well -- my parents did it for me, and soon it will be time for me to take my turn.

That being said, just as there is when you are trying to become pregnant...there is a lot of consider when you make the decision to adopt. I would advise looking into it a bit more and if you do make the decision to adopt, do it because you want an adopted child, not because you are scared of pregnancy. There are sometimes (not always) additional complications with adopted children, particularly depending on how they were separated from their mother, what their care was like prior to becoming your child, and how old they were. There can sometimes be attachment/bonding challenges resulting from these. All that can successfully resolved if you know enough about it, and if you are self-aware enough to recognize your own feelings, along with those of your child.

Adoption is a wonderful thing -- just make sure you are doing it for the right reasons and inform yourself enough about the process.

Answer 7

I am in a position to say what its like to do both, I have three birth children and one adopted child, my adopted child is very much the same as my other children, I love her with all my heart and will do absolutely anything to protect her as any mother would but having given birth to three children the rush of love and bonding your get while going through pregnancy and the birth is just something that noone could ever totally explain, the feelings are overwhelming and strong and you know you need to do everything to protect, care and love this little baby, thats not to say I feel any less about my adopted daughter but the feelings I had giving birth to them and feeling them move inside is such an amazing wonderful feeling that is so lovely to experience. Waiting to adopt our newest addition to the family we went through months and months of assessments, court hearings, appointments it was hard going but at the end when you get your little one it has all been worth it but you do need to work much harder on the bonding side as the initial rush of love after giving birth isnt always automatically there with an adopted child (although in time it does come)

Answer 8

Why not do both? There are so many kids without home that it sickens me. I plan on adopting when i turn 30...I'm 23 now. I have a 2 year old and I'm 2 months along now. Giving birth is not as bad as everyone says it is. I had a emergency c-section and my baby was put in nicu for a months. I woke up in my hospital room without my baby and i asked the nurse if i could see her. She said that i would have to walk up and down the hall 3 times if i wanted to be able to make the trip down to the nicu, so i didn't. Less that 12 hours after my c-section i was up and walking around because i was determined to see my baby! Women have babies for a reason, we are strong and very resilient. Have a child and i promise as soon as your hear that little voice cry you'll be soo overcome with joy you wont be worried about the pain. Plus percocet is a wonderful drug :)

Answer 9

It's very important that we have people in society who adopt because there are lots of children out there who need homes. However, you should look into it more before you make a decision. It's not a case of just signing some forms, walking into an agency one day and picking up a lovely little baby. There are very few babies out there that are put up for adoption. Whereas a generation ago, teenage girls got pregnant and put their babies up for adoption, now they keep them!
Most of the children who need adopting are older and have been treated badly by their family. They can require some time before they settle into family life. And there are very strict checks on you before you are allowed to adopt.
It's an amazing worthwhile thing to do and I know people who have done it and have had great results.
Good luck

P.S. You don't have to have lots of needles and a caserean if you have your own babies!

Answer 10

I hate needles i have a really bad thing about veins and needles it makes me physically sick if i see anyone touching there neck or wrist of the middle of there arms argh just thinking about it makes me feel quesy. (okay sorry) my point was i hate needles to and the thought of having a cesarian terrified me but when i got pregnant i managed to deal with the blood tests and i thought i wouldn't have to have a cesarian because there was no reason for me to but i ended up having to have an emergency one but i was absolutly fine and so was my son its not as bad as i thought it would be infact my son was 8lb10oz think having him the other way might have been worse. If you want to have a baby you should and dont worry about the needles and other things you will find that when it comes to it you can deal with it all because its for your baby and it has to be done.