Please help.?

Question

I'm 17 years old, and a proud and responsible mother. Although it gets annoying when my parents try to tell me what to do with own daughter. Her father and I split up about two weeks ago, and since then, life has been better, because he is very immature, and prefers video games over spending time with her on the weekends. The thing is, there's this guy that I really like. He likes me, too, only he doesn't want to date me because I have a baby. Anyone I will ever date has to accept my daughter, because she is my number one. What do I do about this entire situation? I'm still in high school, and a soon-to-be honor graduate. Please don't be so judgemental.

Answer 1

u sound like u really care for yur daughter and u ow it to her to not to get involved with anyguy that will not feel the same

good luck to u an your daughter

Answer 2

There's a lot of great answers here, and I just had to share my 2 cents. I got pregnant when I was 17 and married the father- which, not surprisingly, ended up in divorce 4 years later. Your ex sounds a lot like my ex and I've learned that you can't make him have a relationship. My son's father eventually did the weekend thing and as my son got older, I let him decide on the when. The interesting thing is that I never interfered (even when I felt like I was always the bad guy) and my son and I are very close. He sees his Dad and says it's like visiting a friend.
Since you live with your folks, you really do have to abide by the "house rules". Having said that, you are the one that is ultimately responsible for your child. Do you like how you turned out? If so, then maybe your folks have some worthwhile advice. Sit down with them, act like an adult, and hammer it out.
If this is a young guy, then it is understandable that he's afraid of a relationship with so much responsibility. Have tons of friends instead of boyfriends, graduate from school, and raise your daughter. When I met the man that I later married, we talked about all of it- with a child, you have no room for playing games. He was nervous... and has been a great dad to my son and our other 4 kids. What I'm saying is don't rush, don't play games, and don't settle. My son is now 17 and a GREAT kid.

Answer 3

Wow, I have to say that You have my respect and I really want to tell you that I am so proud of you for what you have done... you always put your daughter first and then second you.. and you soon to be honor graduate!!!!!! wow, yeah you will meet alot of guys who don't want to be with woman who already have kids... but take time to find the right guy who really love you and respect you and really proud of you...

Your mother will always tell you what to do why.. still under their roof soon if you moved out and they won't tell you what to do.. My wife's mother and father tells me what to do..I tell them You don't make babys with her... I do and the only thing me and jennifer do what best for our kids and not for you guys to tell me all the time. and finally they back off and notice that we do better without them telling us what to do.. smiling...

Don't worry about other people judgemental you about what happen... No one is perfect but you have proof it to be the best mom and doing great in school... I am 35 years old and I have daughter and son both age 3 and 2 and soon third on the way .... If my daughter got pregnant and she does like you do I will tell her how proud I am with you... and Don't give up and don't let anyone tell you what you need to do .... follow your dream and your daughter will grow up be like you but knowing you will let her know wait until you finished high school and go to college and stuff.. People make mistake and I don't take out of them....

Again I am pround of you and you have done wonderful in your life and your number one daughter... You have my respect.

Answer 4

First of all, your parents are right. They raised you, they know what they are doing. If they say to do something with your daughter, get off your rebellious butt and go do it. Right then. Learn how to be a good mom from them while you can.

Second, If a guy doesn't want to date you because you have a kid...good. Saves you heartache later. Don't introduce guys to your daughter until the relationship is dead serious and you have a committment. She doesn't need to get attached to your boyfriends who are going to leave you as soon as life gets real.

There's nothing to do about your situation. You have no problems. Go to school, get an education, get a job and learn to support yourself and your daughter. You've already proven irresponsible by having a child so young, now get responsible and get the burden of your irresponsibility off your parents as soon as you can. Your wrong behavior, is costing them and you didn't even consider them when you were doing things to get knocked up in the first place.

It's time to grow up. Don't worry about dating. Plenty of time for that later on.

Answer 5

Things will probably be tough for you for awhile. But don't worry, you will find a guy who is mature and responsible and will absolutly fall in love with you and your daughter. It's just harder to find guys like that when you're young. Give guys a a little bit longer to start understanding what being a man is. Remember, you had a crash course into the adult world. Until then, hang in there!

Answer 6

You've answered your own question, you know... The most important thing in your life now is keeping you and your baby in good health. The second most important thing is your education. Who likes you and who you like is wayyyy down on the list. Take it slow. Baby doesn't need a daddy right now. Trust me, I'm way old on the scale and even though we were married for 16 years, my ex wasn't a daddy then or now. Mr. Right for both you and the baby will come along. Concentrate on your happiness, which is NOT a relationship, but what you need to be successful in life.

Answer 7

Finish school,and keep doing good. You sound like a smart ,responsible young person. So you have a child at 17.Don't look at is a mistake. It will be an adventure for both of you. Love her and enjoy her and anyone who really wants to enjoy your company and life will see that the child is part of the lovely package.You're blessed,be thankful.Someone will come along and love you both.

Answer 8

I wish all teen mothers were like you...an honor grad? How awesome! I have to commend you for your loyalty to your daughter. I spent some years as a single mother and had the same attitude toward potential partners that you do. If they don't accept my sons, they don't accept me...we are a package deal...take it or leave it.

On a different note, your parents are only trying to help...thank God for them. They know you are young and feel that you need their guidance. Take it with gratitude, my dear...what if they weren't there?

President Clinton said it best, "It takes a village to raise a child."

Answer 9

Well I think your parents are probably just trying to help you, so cut them some slack. As for the guy, it is time for you to move on. Like you said your baby is and should be your number one priority. The guy made it perfectly clear that he isn't interested in dating you because of the baby. He isn't going to change his mind and you aren't going to give up your baby so let it go. Maybe stay away from guys for awhile. At least until the baby gets older. There are plenty of guys that would be accepting of you and your baby. Wait for one of them.

Answer 10

first off congrats to you.. any mother in your situation deserves a lil bit of respect!!! not many mothers your age still are in school and are an honor grad. as far as it goes with your parents dont put what they say completely out of thought... they raised you well after all and i know it gets annoying with everyone telling you how to be a mom when every mother and child realtionship is different the on thing that is constant is their bond. stay true to your daughter and forget this guy!!! single moms have to be careful anout bringing guys around their kids alot while they are dating them.. there can be effects on the child from this.only when you know that the guy i going to stick around a bit should they be brought around your kid... think of it this way... they develope a relationship with this person and then it gets ripped away from them at no fault of their own but could feel that way even at a young age that tells them that everyone they come close will be taken from them... even tho eventually this may be true however their innocence is preacious and could cause serious issues later on in life. forget about the guy who wont date you b/c of her completely. he aint worth your thought.. hes prolly not wanting to have to fill that father figure role which every man you go out with will eventually have to deal with. and as for the father you did the right thing make sure tho that he helps you support your kid financially. and a certain percentage of any shild support can be used on housing and things of that kind. you'd have to go to the local courthouse to find out thatspecific percentage i cant remeber it off the top of my head yet, but i do know of this due to my moms battles with my father in court for child support.... my dad actually did support me and my mom was using too much of the money for other things instead of her kids.... ne ways dont be horrid to your ex either the kids can sense any hostilities... keep things peaceful and calm for their sakes.... and im sure you wil.l congrats on the honors. and keep doing what your doing things seem like you have your head on straight!! :)


hopes this helps you some

Answer 11

If he doesn't want to date you because of daughter than he doesn't deserve you. try to get over it and look for someone who will love you reguardless of if you have a child or not. There ARE guys out there like that.