Am I The Father?

Question

Wife Had A Affair 20 Years Ago Just Found Out About That. Put Two And Two Together timing my son might not be mine.I don;nt want to spend the rest of my life wondering should I sneak a DNA Test With Out Anyone Knowing

Answer 1

Yea you shoud do a DNA test, and you can buy a kit online for 30 bucks and you can easily get hair from your child..

You need to find out

Answer 2

1st i would go by the obvious. does the child look like you? he is 20 now and you should have a good idea of this by now.. you are the childs father no matter what.. all this test could do would be cause heart ache for the child. In their eyes , they would think your trying to prove he is not yours and that would really hurt.. Just be happy now and put the past behind you. 20 years is a long time ago and shge's loved you ever since and made the decision to stay with you.

I know this may hurt you right now but think of the marriage you've had . You and your wife should start reloving each other, ( now that the kids are grown)

Answer 3

Your wife wasn't honest with you & look where things ended up. If you aren't honest with her about your concerns, you'll only damage your relationship even more. She may get angry and scream at the suggestion that you're not the father, but chances are...it's only because she fears it too & her worst nightmare is coming true. You have the advantage here, she's the one that screwed up. Let her know that this is something she needs to go to save your relationship.
BUT...don't get the test done if the results are going to determine what happens to your relationship with her. If you plan to stay with her only if it's your child, that's just stupidity talking. It happened over 20 years ago. Getting pregnant from an affair isn't the real issue, it's the affair itself...just remember that.

Answer 4

You bought him up, he calls you Dad, he respects and loves you. Why are you worried about the once owner of a single sperm which resulted in YOUR son!
Why punish your son for a mistake your wife made 20 years ago. If a DNA test proves he is genetically your son then everything is fine but if it proves that he isn't then he is still your son and does not have another father to turn too.

Answer 5

There is no way you can "sneak" a DNA test, only a moron would believe one could do that. What you can do is see a lawyer and subpoena a DNA test from your son. But YOU will have to pay for both his and your's. Of course after 20 years there isn't much you can do about it.

Answer 6

Do you love this son regardless if he was biologically yours or not? Have you raised this son always believing that you are his father and he is your son? You might have caught on but testing DNA no matter what the results would only bring pain and hurt to your entire family. How would you son feel if he knew you questioned it or if he found out your wife, his mother had an affair and he wasn't your true biological son?
He is your son no matter what so please don't bring pain to this situation.

Answer 7

You really should talk to your wife about this. I'm sorry she cheated on you. Really I am. But you are and have been this kid's dad for 20 years regardless of the fact that you may not be biologically related to him. The reason why I say this is because YOU are all he knows.
What are you going to do if you find out he's not really your child? Are you going to break ties with him and never see him or talk to him again. I think not. It wouldn't be his fault that his mother did this to you. And it wouldn't be fair to him at all for you to pack your bags and say "see ya... you aren't mine, I don't want to have anything to do with you."
Chances are he knows nothing about it anyway.
So talk to your wife, get a DNA test if you really feel you must, but sometimes ignorance is bliss and in this case it just might prove to be true.

Answer 8

everyone could have little ones, make a toddler mutually whether it particularly is the guy who seems after the toddler in existence and is there mentally, spiritually, bodily,financially as that youngster grows. What makes a father is somebody who listens to you for hours :)) Who needs you to extra perfect your existence methods to benefit on your guy or woman because of the fact no person else can try this for you. To never provide up whilst your feeling low. To spend high quality time in a park in a play floor at a action picture :)) To carry residing house bagels and donuts previous due at night whilst working a nightshift a rational sensible and logical loving guy :)) Godbless each and all the super fathers that make a distinction of their little ones lives :)) Enki Binki i'm particular your Dad is particular such as you Enki Binki :)))))))))))

Answer 9

Would it really make a difference. You have raised this boy for 20 years and treated him as your own. Would you quit loving him if you found out he was from the affair. If its that important to you its hard to get a dna sample without his knowing it. Most companies use a mouth swap.

Answer 10

As a dad, After 20yrs. you are the father and you are the dad.period
Once you open that box you'll never be able to close it, The issue you need to deal with right now, is your wife, explain the time line to her and make her explain it.
Unless you two were separated at the time 20 yrs or 20 days it seems the same to me.
But unless all hell breaks loose I would never bring it up to your son.

That just my opinion

Answer 11

It is up to you, but just think about the child's best interests. If you find out you are not his father, it may ruin his life.

Plus, in some jurisdictions (like California), since he was born while you were married, you are conclusively presumed to be the father under the law. So, even if you found out you are not his biological father, you are still his legal father - and sometimes that is all the matters.