Last month I went on vacation with my parents. After i came back i saw a girl's number in my husband's cell and i asked who she was. He told me that his friend practically forced him to go to a club and since he was bored, he started talking to this girl. Then he says she gave him her #. He swears he was only talking to her and that he didnt cheat on me. What should I do?
2007-03-08 04:12:16 · 15 answers · asked by plzhelp 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If he has done nothing wrong then he should not have a problem with deleting her number from his phone for you. Check his phone bill and see how often and long these talked. It also would not hurt to call her up and ask her, but do not get mad at her or be agressive. Talk to her calmly, remember, if anything did happen it is not really her fault, it is your guys fault.
I would also like to say if he was not feeling guitly about having her number in his phone he would not be making excuses as to why it was there or why he went to the club. If he was upfront and honest he would have told you about her and that he went to the club with her before you had to find out. I say he still has more to hide even if he didnt go very far with her. It is not ok for him to hang out with a girl at a club while you were away, boys nights are acceptable, not girls nights when you are dealing with a male.
When you ask him these questions you have, look him straight in the eye. If you are asking questions that are not requiring excuses and he starts offering excuses after he answers you, he may be lying. If he can't look at you straight in the eye or pauses before answering or changes his story slightly, he is probably lying.
2007-03-08 04:24:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
HUH... That would really bother me too. But you only know your husband. You have to really ask yourself if you trust him or not. If there is any doubt in your head, be honest with him and ask him to tell you the truth. Then ask him why he would even talk to this girl when your not around. Tell him that you don't feel comfortable with the situation and that you need to understand how this all came about. I am assuming that he is an adult who can make decisions for himself right? Then I wouldn't buy that his friend forced him to go to a club and talk to some girl. I would really talk to him, lay your cards on the table and let him know to be honest now will save so much heart ache later if you were to find out he lied.
Good luck!
2007-03-08 12:18:38 · answer #2 · answered by Chrystal 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consider the history of how your husband usually treats you. Does he usually tell you when he goes some place and where? Is he generally open with you? Does he treat you with respect, love and affection? Or does he tend to generally be secretive? If this is something thats not in his character, you know, going out like that and not telling you anything about it until you found out and asked about it, then I would be a little suspicious. However, if this is something that is normal for him, and he is an honest person, but just doesn't think to tell you everyplace he goes, which is pretty normal for many guys (I think), then I would just trust what he says about it and let it go. But don't forget about it. And don't dwell on it. If you find this number on his phone or anything else indicating that he is still talking to or in contact with this other woman, then I would become concerned.
Anyway, I wish you well and remember, you are a good woman and deserve to be treated with honesty and respect, so make sure if something is happening with him like that, don't let it take away your confidence, and esteem.
I will pray for you....
Bye
2007-03-08 12:31:34 · answer #3 · answered by zaytox0724 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well in my opinion u are never forced to do anything so thats just an excuse because he could have sed no and stayed home. maybe he didnt cheat on u, but he did go to have a little fun, id be careful. keep a close eye on him without letting him know ur doubting him. if he loves u enough im sure he wont want to hurt you, but if u guys are having a little bit of trouble at home then maybe. just make sure ur relationship is good and try to trust him. if after a while u keep doubting him just tell him u deserve to know the truth.
2007-03-08 12:20:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, it could be as innocent as he describes, but he should have refused her number. By accepting it he sent her a message. The message was I'm interested and I'm available. It may not have been the message he meant to send, but it's the one that was sent. He needs to delete the number and never contact her again. That can only lead to trouble. He may think that he can handle it, but it's way to difficult to back track once you've slipped up. He may not have slept with anyone, but he may have been "flirting" with the idea. You are his wife and you have a right to ask him to stop this. If he's unwilling, I would pursue why he's unwilling to stop. He doesn't need to have any further contact with this woman.
I think you two would definitely benefit from marriage counseling. This isn't healthy for your marriage at all.
2007-03-08 12:27:04 · answer #5 · answered by Dino 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he was bored fine.. dance with that woman but why get her phone number.. and why was it on his phone.. did he call her already? if he didnt cheat, he was deff flirting ... you need to find out more like if they went out to eat after the club... it seems they have done more than talk since her number was on his phone.... I would deff call that number and ask that woman whats the deal...he must of told her he was single since she gave him her number...where was his wedding ring?? tell your husband a married man dont go out to a club... his fun should of been drinking and watching sports on the big screen there not picking up single girls..
2007-03-08 12:32:24 · answer #6 · answered by gina B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know, but if this sort of thing has happened before, it's more likely that maybe he did. However, you'll need to trust him if this is only the first time. And you can always ask him to delete the number. If he does without question, it shouldn't really concern you. At any rate, talk to him more about it.
2007-03-08 12:22:40 · answer #7 · answered by Erin G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get that girls tel number and have a guy call her and say that your hubby gave him the number cause she was hot and had sex with him and see what happens
2007-03-08 12:58:55 · answer #8 · answered by polack10 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe him. Is the story believab;e to you? I know my husbands friends would do something like that. I wouldn't worry unless you have other reasons to think he could be cheating. But if hes home everynight and still showers you with love, then don't worry.
2007-03-08 12:17:10 · answer #9 · answered by beaches 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
keep an eye on his cell phone for that number if nothing else hire a P.I.
2007-03-08 12:27:58 · answer #10 · answered by walker9842 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋