How do people deal with these sorts of things?

Question

My husband and i have been separated for alittle over a month. In that time he has managed to get arrested on three different occasi0ons, his most recent arrest being three days ago for a crime that if convicted he would be facing 20 years in prison!!! There is no possibility of bond- probably because he was out on bond when he was arrested. I am 6 months pregnant with his son... and i am not sure how people deal with this sort of thing- i am only 19 and feel rather hopeless at the moment.... any advice for me?

Answer 1

Every cloud has a silver lining....your baby is a blessing and if his father is not a good example, then maybe it is best he is out of the baby's life from the start. Keep your chin up, keep you and your baby's health your #1 priority and vow to raise your son to the best of your ability. Teach him truth, honesty and all of the good things that his father may not be able to. Congratulations on becoming a mother ~ it is THE most rewarding job you will ever have!

Answer 2

Sounds like you married an immature sorry excuse of a husband and father. You made the mistake than many girls do and married too young and to a person you didn't know well enough. The only thing you can do is lean on your family and close friends and start building a life for yourself and your child. Sit down with your family and ask for guidance on what you can do to start getting your life back on track. There are many young mothers that are doing the same thing and you can do it too. Just don't waste anymore time on this husband. Divorce him and concentrate on your child. As far as your child, carefully weigh the decision for visitation while he is in prison. This could be quite a bit or trauma as the child gets older and you don't need the constant pressure from him to give him another chance when he gets out. An inmate will want the security of having his same married life when he returns to outside life. You deserve better than what he did. I speak from experience in guiding my daughter of the same type of mess you are in. It has been three years and she is finally providing a secure life for herself and my grand kids. She also found out there are good and decent men that don't do that sort of thing. Good Luck.

Answer 3

You have to ask yourself these questions:
Do you have family support so you can get a higher education to support your little family?
Are you able to set aside your young adulthood to be a parent when you are not working and/or going to school?
Have you thought of adoption?
You need counseling right now to set things in less dramatic tone and put these lifelong changes in front of you in a sensible yet "real" manner! You cannot look at the short term solutions, having a child is long term. You as the parent have to make unselfish decisions for the rest of your life and they have to be good decisions as you now have another life to form and raise to be a productive individual. I had 2 children before I was 18...one I gave up...I had no choice and yes, I was married. It was difficult from an emotional stand point but it was for the best. I am now 49, and it is still a struggle as I was not able to get the higher education...I am in middle management but will never go into executive mgmnt as I do not have a degree...I have nothing to retire on and I am not married...my choices put me in this situation...you need to make better choices...for you and your child!

Answer 4

You need to file for divorce and custody of your child as soon as It's born. You CAN'T save him. You may even be financially liable for his legal fees and fines. This is a sad situation...but he is obviously not a decent human being and certainly won't be a good husband or Father. He'll probably try to blame you for his actions. For example," If you didn't separated from me I never would've gotten into so much trouble." It's B.S. He isn't normal.

Answer 5

properly this dating looked a sprint complicated, it form of appears like this guy didnt have any intrest interior the begining and he replaced into purely experimenting with you, the reality that he began to alter and purely unload you like that exhibits he didnt care from the beginning up,And he has the nerves to invite onother lady to the promenade properly then there you go you may say he totally hasnt matured and isnt waiting for a dating. appears like each and every he prefer to do is have some relaxing. Dont fall for his tricks neither seems, steer away from him and tell him to speak to you whilst he's seroious simply by fact your heart isn't a toy that could be thrown interior the nook and gathered back, and humiliation for what out of persons he may be the only embarassed for leaving this way of beutiful lady interior the 1st place. lady you have not something to stress approximately,

Answer 6

If you have any family - lean on them for support. If that won't work, get involved in a good church.

I know that he is the father of your baby, but you are a mom now and your baby needs to be #1, you #2, everything can pick a number.....

Answer 7

If hes going to jail for 20 years that a pretty long time

Answer 8

I think that you need to turn your life over to Jesus. He is really the only one that can help you to make sense of the situation. Even if you don't get the clarity you need, your life will then have purposeful direction. Do it for yourself and your son.

Answer 9

Honey, move on with your life. He will be a poor role model for your child. Get counseling, and be with friends and family. Don't forget child support though, it still is his baby.

Answer 10

He has to deal with his own problems. They are not your problems. Your priority should be the health and welfare of your baby and you. If you have friends and family you can turn to to help you out, do so. Good luck.