Is a woman's diary an accurate reflection? How would you feel if there were 330 pages about how lousy you are?

Question

I read my wife's diary. I know this is wrong. Lecturing me about it is pointless. I feel guilty enough.

However, I cannot ignore what she wrote in there. It is pages and pages about what a jerk I am. She hates me. She actually writes that. I am an ******, a selfish jerk. There is only one entry that she says I was nice, and in that one she asks what could possibly be up for me to be nice. She was suspicious of my trying so hard.
She wrote that she is "so over with this marriage". She thinks I am leaving her soon. This totally shocked me. I actually threw up.

I remember some days and I thought they were great. For one, the whole day she has a smile on her face and then we get home and she writes 2 pages spewing hateful stuff.

I feel worthless. I feel like my marriage has been a big joke.

The diary says nothing about an affair, but it is 330 pages of misery with nothing nice to say about me. Every entry is entirely about me.

What do I do? :(

Answer 1

Maybe it is her way of venting and releasing stress. I have a wonderful husband, but there are some days that I just really feel like I can't stand him and would be better off without him. I know it isn't true, but sometimes it just feels better to let it out. She may not mean what she writes, but I think 330 pages may be excessive. Sit down with her, and without revealing your invasion of privacy, express to her that you feel she isn't happy. Maybe she will break down and let it all out and you will see that she was just releasing some anxiety. Good luck!

Answer 2

Well... Reading it was your way of reassuring yourself that you are a good husband..however you didn't get the reassurance that you were looking for. I write nasty stuff in my diary about everyone, even people I love. I use it to vent my frustration, and it in no way reflects my every day feelings about them, however, if you feel that she means all of it by the way she is writing it, and it doesn't seem like its just her way to vent, maybe asking her about it is good. If you are afraid to that is okay. Takes tips from it. If it mentions certain things you are doing wrong, try to fix them. It can't hurt anything. Maybe it will help you improve the marriage. It is worth a shot to take the tips from it.
Also, read it in a few weeks. I know that sounds bad, but if you try improving stuff, and in a few weeks it is still all bad, it might be something wrong with her, not you. If it improves, then keep improving yourself in everyway you can.

About her thinking you are leaving her, maybe you are doing something wrong. Try to show her you still care. Tell her how beautiful she is. That you are glad you married her. Do wonderful things for anniversaries. Take her places. Introduce her to friends she hasn't met of yours before. Women like to know that you are proud of them and not ashamed.
Good luck, and I hope I helped :)


edit : Also, remember, NOONE is worthless. Especially you. You have deep emotions, and I can tell you are a good person. Keep your chin up. And just try. :)

Answer 3

case in point- you read her diary? well, no wonder she says those kinds of things about you. also she may write stuff like that because she is not able 2 tell you how she feels. obviously the communication is not there, since she writes it in the diary and doesnt tell you. and you dont ask her how she feels, so you must go and pry in her personal things to read something so private as a diary. maybe you both need 2 sit down and talk about how you are both feeling. reading someone's diary is very nosey.

Answer 4

well... yes, the guilt... you should feel it...

now, if there is no affair, try to begin doing those things that you did for her early on in the relationship

do nice things for her

don't take her for granted

don't do the opposite of what she wrote or she will be aware that you read it and feel violated

stay away from her diary in the future

and remember, that is her venting and possibly her perspective on things... remember, each person will see the same thing differently..

Answer 5

If you feel you've been at your best on being a husband maybe your wife has some issues that she needs to take care of. Or you can see what she is feeling as a sign that maybe if you want your wife to be happy you have some changing to do.

Answer 6

First things first. Change you name from Super Dude to Super Dud.

Answer 7

initially.. inspite of you do.... by no potential... *EVER* tell her you study that diary ! you would possibly want to as well end it now in case you do. It appears like a million of two issues is going on. both you're a jerk, and your a lot of a jerk you do not even know it. Or she is an unappreciative B!+ch ! (Sorry to say that about your spouse) yet I consider alot of what the pther human beings stated, you do want to refer to her. merely dont make it obtrusive that you study the diary. "Honey, do you imagine i'm an ****** or a jerk ?" does no longer be an perfect thanks to start up it. tell her you've been talking at artwork with some human beings and they were saying how one in each of there better halves went off on them and stated they were maximum of those undesirable issues and the guy replaced into stunned, cuz he had no concept she felt like that. And it made you imagine.. i ask your self if (your wifes call) sense like that about me in any way. Then bypass on to say something like.. because oral sex is so significant in a wedding ceremony......... *sorry* I meant to say "communacation". both way.. sturdy luck !

Answer 8

Reality bites, you have to face it and reflect on your actions. If only I'm not lazy about writing things.

Answer 9

What a meany! She seems super hard to please.