Why am I so stuck on him? I wasn't even really happy?

Question

The good things about him were:
he made me laugh-
made me feel safe
CARED FOR ME
Bad things about him:
1. He could not keep a job and had no money
2. Did not drive- I drove everywhere
3. He never had money- I worked to hang out with him(for us to eat and go out) , but I trusted him that when he did have money he would share it with me, b/c when ever he did get some he took me out(hardly ever)
4. He sold weed and smoked it which I am totally against.
5. He had hit me before,(not hard) but he still scared me, and a lot of verbal abuse when I was being a bi tch and sometimes verbally abused me when I didn it mean to do something wrong.
6. He never just wanted to tyalk to me on the phone, our conversation lasted for about 5 min and he would say I'll call you back. He said we have nothing to talk about.
The worst thing is he broke up with me because I was a biotch(true sometimes, and because I NEVER DID ANYTHING FOR HIM..WHEN I TRIED TO DO EVERYTHING FOR HIM

i am not that pretty and don't have many friends, I am scared I will be alone forever

he was my first love. first guy i trusted. lost my virginity to. on ly guy i have been with

WE WERE TOGETHER FOR TWO YEARS

i DON;T THINK HE WAS USING ME, WE MOSTLY JUST HUNG OUT IN HIS ROOM TOGETHER, I DID NIOT BUY HIM THINGS EXCEPT FOOD UNLESS FOR HIS BDAY OR XMAS

Answer 1

He is not worth it. You were in a habit and you felt good to feel needed BUT I think you miss what you wanted him to be rather than what he was. (Because it doesn't sound like he was anything good)

You will not be alone forever. That is a long time. It may feel like that now but don't fear. Someone else will come along and be better than that guy.

Answer 2

You are stuck because it is normal to want what we can't have. It is especially "normal" if you have been dumped. Something inside of us just wants to make it right and we want the guy back even if he is no good for us. This dude treated you like garbage but you want to make it right. Why...because you dont think you are good looking, that no one else will find you special, he was your first lover. Chalk it up to experience and use this experience to move on. You sound like a lovely person and lovely people are good looking. You just have to believe it. When guys get to "hitting" it only escalates. Who said you were a bit..? Him? When someone is being verbally and physically abusing, it seems natural to be a bit... Count yourself lucky that he hasnt beaten you and move on. Beatings were probably the next step in this relationship.

Answer 3

First of all as long as you have the attitude that you're not pretty and don't have many friends, you will be alone. If he wanted you, someone else will. There's no sense in you feeling sorry for yourself, because it's good that you two are apart if he sells drugs. Do you know that if he's caught with drugs on him and you two are together, you go down too. Plus, he hit you (not hard though) it don't matter if he knocked your teeth out. If he raise his hand once he'll do it again. Perk up, cause it seems to me that him leaving did you a favor.

Answer 4

i think you have answered your own question, you are so hung up on this guy because he was your first love and you have only ever made love to him, both these connections will tie you to him always, it will take a while for you to get over this loss, no matter how unhappy you ended up.

its true what they say you never forget your first love, but its also tru that time is a great healer, and the longer you continue wihtout him the easier it will get.

you were not meant to be together, but honey no matter how ugly you think you are someone out there will think you are beautiful and fall in love with you, so dont just settle for the wrong guy because you are afraid of being alone, you will find someone, maybe not soon but you will, just dont ever give up hope.

Answer 5

Lets face it there was more bad then good. You can't move on to a new relationship when your head is still thinking about the old one. You are upset about being alone not the loss of this jer*. We all have felt like this no one want to be alone but, I believe there is someone for everyone. This guy is not for you. You need to have a little respect and love for yourself. Raise your standards. This guy is a looser and going no where in life. Why u want to be w/ a guy who is going no where? Be glad it's over. Learn from your mistakes and move on. Remember abuse is not love.

Answer 6

It looks as though his bad qualities more than out weighed his good. You’ve answered your questions if you think about.

He was your first everything so you feel hurt that you no longer have that. Just because you’re not dating him doesn’t mean that you can’t be his friend. However with time you will get over him.

As far as what your outer shell looks like, why would you want to be with someone that just focused on that? If someone can’t appreciate your inner beauty then you don’t need them in your life anyway. First off, you need to stop seeing yourself as not that pretty. You need to practice telling yourself I am beautiful and the next guy I date should consider himself lucky to be with me because of what I have to offer, then think of what you can and will bring to the relationship. No one will see you as beautiful if you don’t see yourself that way first.

Stop being miserable because believe it or not, that’s exactly what he wants you to be. Misery loves company. Show him what he’s going to miss because he didn’t want to get his life together. He more than likely didn’t think you’d walk away and is probably thinking you’ll be back. Don’t go back and don’t look back. Show him that you want, deserve and will have more than his sorry butt relationship.

You need to call him and tell him to listen to or play the song "Scrub" by TLC for him

Answer 7

You are stuck on him because u have low self-esteem and like u said u feel u won't find anyone else, and u will be alone. You need to build your self-esteem and self-respect or u will always end up with this type of guy. They will be able to treat u however they want, and u will think that is ok as long as they "care" about u. This isn't right, u should have been the one to break up with this type of guy. Learn to like yourself and realize u deserve to be treated with respect and love.

Answer 8

sometimes when a guy has a lot for us to pick on about him (and he had a lot of reasons to be nagged at) his pride takes over and he doesn't want to be with a ******. as women we tend to nag when guys are not workin at their full potential and some guys (he sounds like a black guy) don't want to deal with that, they just want a girl to sit there and say ok honey whatever you say and let your lives go downhill together. If you can't help him and he can't help himself, then you need to wait for the right guy. It's hard to forget about your "first" but you'll never find better if you keep dwelling on your "worst"!

Answer 9

He was using you, he's a bum that doesn't work. You probably don't love him, but love they idea of having someone anyone. Who cares about looks, someone with an awesome personality can be beautiful. Find someone who treats you , like you treat them. He's out there, don't sell yourself short. You are worth more than that.

Answer 10

a) he gave you attention
and
b) you have low self esteem. there are good guys out there who fall for chicks without caring how they look.

my wife isn't that physically pretty, but i think she is a beautiful person, one of the most beautiful i know

stick with it, and don't give up . your good guy is out there and your ex will get prison or jail time for beating one of his future gf's