I'm planning a well-deserved vacation to Costa Rica with a small group of friends. We have another friend who would probably like to go, but he makes me uncomfortable and guarded because his boundries are a little fuzzy. Unfortunately, it's not as simple as talking to him; no amount of explaining makes any difference. However, I do consider him to be a good friend in most contexts.
My other two friends (both male) with whom I've been planning the vacation recognize the problem and tell me that the decision on whether to invite him is entirely up to me. Although I don't want to spend my whole vacation trying to fend him off every time I put on a bikini, it is a group vacation and the others would probably like it if he came. I would also hate to hurt his feelings (the same dilemma came up a few years ago), but it is his fault that there is an issue at all.
2007-03-08 03:51:00 · 10 answers · asked by greensong 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Why would you want to spend money on a vacation all the way to Costa Rica if there is a possibility that you may have a terrible time? I would say not to bring this friend that makes you uncomfortable. I know your other friends might like him to come, but you have to do what is right for you. You will be in a foreign place and in close quarters with these people for the time you are there. In my experience traveling, you only want to bring people you can trust and who will enrich your experience - not make it a terrible one.
2007-03-08 03:57:32 · answer #1 · answered by EthanHunt 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The fault with this issue is all yours. If you don't want to have any kind of relationship beyone friendship with this guy, then don't invite him along on your trip. You claim that he makes you feel uncomfortable, but yet you want to still bring him. Sounds like you are just teasing him and getting mad when he wants to touch. Perhaps you should be careful about who you expose yourself to and the way you behave. You could get into more trouble than just having someone make you "feel uncomfortable." Thank you.
2007-03-08 03:59:37 · answer #2 · answered by cookie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like there is more than an uncomfortable feeling here. It seems you feel afraid and with good reason if this man's boundaries are "fuzzy". I would strongly suggest that you not invite him. If this is your holiday you are under no obligation to invite someone you feel uncomfortable around regardless of what others may want.
From what you describe your sub-conscience is telling you not to be alone around this man or even around him. Experience tells me that you should listen to it.
2007-03-08 04:04:06 · answer #3 · answered by cnc_13023 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No I wouldn't. Why would you want to spend your vacation with someone that makes you uncomfortable? Don't take him, if you do you'll spend the entire vacation fighting him off instead of having fun with your other two friends.
2007-03-08 04:12:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that you are a strong woman and knows how to take care of herself. Invite him along because he is your friend and is friends with the others. The second that he steps out of line, let him know. Even if it means being rude. Don't let him get away with acting like that.
2007-03-08 03:55:10 · answer #5 · answered by What Do I Know? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It boils down to whether you can control the situation without it
having an adverse effect on your "vacation" --- keep in mind
the if'n he don't get his head out of his fanny, --well, your vacation
is going really suck. (personally, I'd leave him behind, with OR
without explanation).
2007-03-08 04:05:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he violates boundaries you set for him then he is truly master of his own fate. No, even though it may hurt feelings a bit, he was the one who made the choice for you. He has to live by his choices, not you.
Have a great and worry free vacation, that's "what" they are for, not strife.
2007-03-08 03:59:24 · answer #7 · answered by dad 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Personally, when I go on vacation I'm not looking to bring along any drama.
I'm on vacation, which means I'm out to relax and have a good time, not defend myself.
If he can't keep himself in check, leave him behind.
2007-03-08 03:54:59 · answer #8 · answered by spamovision 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
hell no i wouldnt take a friend on a trip if he was makeing me uncomfortable
2007-03-08 03:56:46 · answer #9 · answered by barroom_babyblue 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
tell him you are booked and cant take him. if he makes you feel uncomfortable just tell him he cant go. also tell him why he makes you feel uncomfortable.
2007-03-08 03:55:01 · answer #10 · answered by iNeedHer 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋