My wife decided she needed some time and space to figure some things out a little over a week ago. She doesn't want any form of communication. We have agreed to talk about once a week on a set day but I don't think that is going to solve anything. I know I am not perfect but it kind of feels like she doesn't want to work on anything. It is very hard to stop talking to her when we used to talk about 20 times a day. She was/is my best friend and I just miss her so much. I really think she has some depression issues but she won't talk to anyone in depth about what is going on. We have been together for about 10 years but have only been married for 4. Any suggestions?
2007-03-08 03:45:00 · 14 answers · asked by blingblinger 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Send her some flowers and a card and tell her that you miss talking with her. Don't force yourself on her, you mutually agreed to chat once a week. Let her know you are missing her.
2007-03-08 03:49:46 · answer #1 · answered by HowdyThere 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The problem is you can't make someone talk to you if they don't want to. Maybe she really does just need some time alone to see what she is giving up. You could make an appointment and go to your family doctor and ask him/her about depresssion (signs, symptoms and treatment) if you truly suspect your wife may be suffering from this. You could also start couples/marriage therapy on your own to examine your part (if any) in this matter. You are going to need to keep yourself busy in order to not dwell on this matter and make yourself sick over it. Volunteer at the local animal shelter or nursing home or hospital or join an athletic club (volleyball is great and fun!). You could also keep a diary so that if she says you are moving on you can tell her that you are doing these things to occupy your mind because she is your best friend and it was killing you not to be able to share your life with her. Good luck to you and God Bless.
2007-03-08 11:54:05 · answer #2 · answered by tersey562 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Give her a little bit of space. Maybe she really does need some time to sort things out. The next time you do talk to her, maybe you could mention your concern about her depression and why you're worried. Make sure you don't accuse her, but just let her know you're there for her and that you want to understand. Good luck.
2007-03-08 11:50:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
don't talk unless there are kids involved and in that case only talk about them. separation means you need to be without each other to see if you can't live without each other, see if you can take some time apart and solve your own problems before you can work on each other, or just take some time apart because you can't handle the problems at this point in your life. however, talking to the other spouse will negatively affect this, like you shouldn't even be separated at all if you are still going to talk. you are supposed to miss each other, that is the point. you are supposed to fix yourselves. she may do this. separation isn't divorce. it's not going to last forever. you are doing the right thing. don't talk to her until you know you want to get back together and you know she does too.
2007-03-08 12:27:48 · answer #4 · answered by pikachu 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am in the same situation but after 21 years. My spouse wants out - needs space, doesn't know their feelings.
We have 3 kids involved. scary
Good luck
2007-03-08 12:33:12 · answer #5 · answered by Confussedhere 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
thats a tough one, just as hard as it may be dont push her and crowd her right now she is wanting time to be alone, if you dont give her that she might decide to not come back, i can understand where u r coming from, me and my husband just went threw a situation just like that, but i was only gone 2 days, and it was very hard but every once in awhile some people just need a little time alone, i love my hubby as much now as they day we got married, but i just wanted some "me" time, and i came back we had missed one another so much, it was like when we first got married. you know what i mean.
2007-03-08 12:42:28 · answer #6 · answered by greengrass 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do you mean, "separated"?
You should talk to your spouse if both of you agree on it. If she obviously doesn't want to talk to you, trying to force the issue will only drive her further away. I don't know what kind of problems you two have to begin with, but stalking her against her wishes will not solve them.
2007-03-08 11:50:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i know its very hard on you. it happened to me aswell but she left with evrything and the kids.the only thing i can tell you is to keep occupied , keep your self active . go to the park and jog keep your self busy. you have to give it sometime and pray for your marriage ,your wife ,and for the lord to give you strenght . ask God to give you peace at night when you sleep . give her her space for right know , let the LORD work in her , pray that the lord will heal her and to give her peace .let it be Gods will . ill be praying for your marriage , for the lord to reconcile you marriage . theres alot of scriptures in the word of GOD , you are not alone. its been four yrs since my wife left me and im doing real great . let time take its course and pray for your marriage . God bless you.
2007-03-08 12:32:15 · answer #8 · answered by blessed 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just let her know that you're there for her, & give her the space she feels she needs.
2007-03-08 11:55:55 · answer #9 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Let her get her space...then she will make the move.It takes time to fix things , just like it takes time for the things to get worse.
2007-03-08 11:51:46 · answer #10 · answered by ERICKSMAMA 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋