Why doesn't he want more out of life?

Question

My husband doesn't get inspired to do anything. When he was single he loved surfing. I even bought him a surfboard and he has never used it. He is working an average job. When he really does have talent to do great things. I just don't understand why our family isn't enough for him to want the very best. Even when he buys gift for people including me he gives what is practical not what they ask for. Financial we are fine. I just don't understand why he settles and doesn't strive for more. Nothing dramatic has happened to where he is depressed. He simply is only living for basic and that just doesn't work for me. Right now I feel like if there is anything I really want I have to get it myself and expect to never get anything from him. I don't mean it materialistic wise but even important things like taking care of the car or getting our son braces. I think I'm starting to understand why people say is love enough to stay together. I would appreciate if some men could clue me in.

Answer 1

Some men are content with what things are. Not every person on the planet is a go-getter and ambitious. The problem that you discovered in the middle of your relationship, is that what you really want is an ambitious guy who wants more out of life. If he is the same guy when you met him then you really have no right to complain. You knew what kind of a man he was before chosing him.

There is nothing wrong with wanting/needing your partner to be ambitious in life. Just make sure that when you get involved with someone..that this person has the same goals and wants as yourself. Otherwise you end up in a situation you are in right now. Unhappy.

Are you an ambitious person yourself? This is an important question. You can't demand your man to strive for the best if don't either.

If you are an ambitious person or discovered down the road you want more out of life. You need to make it clear to him that you are unhappy. I have always believed that good communication is the key to a well functioning relationship. Things may or may not change but atleast you know where you stand with him and what to do next

Answer 2

sounds like you married a nice honset guy who happens to be happy inside and doenst want for more then he has

you probely make him very happy and he know that if he goes for it all he would have less time with you

Fine is great for a lot of people, I do understand that if you need bracises for the kid, you should figure out how to get it

but who need the very best when you are really happy with your self

Answer 3

I am not a man but, really, are YOU getting depressed because of his lack of wanting to get something out of life? Maybe he feels if he tried, he might fail, and failure is a harder pill to swallow.
Maybe he second guesses himself. All that I have to say is that you can lead a horse to water but you can make it drink. You can try to be supportive as much as you can but you can't help him unless he wants to help himself. You are married to him but, you can be pulled down and make your life miserable. Do you really need that?
Stay with him until you can't stay with him no longer because his depression and his inability to want to work things out is making you lose it.
You are right about that love is not enough thing. Because, if he really loved you he would want to try to make things better, not for him, but for you, too.
I hope this helped, good luck.

Answer 4

my dear i can only say from my personal experiences with my best friend who try to motivate me for the past 6 yrs: what he THINKS I need is NOT i want.

For eg. he felt i should go for a local galfriend but for me, having come across many neighbouring country gals, i know what i want in life. so u have to accept this fundamental point.

Answer 5

I'm a man and nothing inspire's me. We like doing nothing,
but that guy is a real big jerk and you should dump his sorry a,ss.