This will sound a bit "risque." It's not my normal Q & A. But define what's normal on Q & A?

Question

If two women have sex, it's considered "acceptable." Like it's the acceptable norm so to speak. Most guys like to see that kind of stuff. If two men have sex it's considered disgusting, and completely wrong? There appears to be some sort of double standard and I guess it largely depends on your point of view? Maybe it's a gender thing? If you're homophobic, please move on. Don't even bother answering this question. There's enough drama and hate being posted. Comments?

Answer 1

Funny.. a friend and I were discussing this very topic a few weeks back. I personally have no problem with the idea of either sexes getting frisky, be it woman/woman or man/man. However, my friend did. His rational was this... women are nurtures.. they are the care takers, they are seen as soft and feminine, mother figures. Men, on the other hand are seen as aggressive, hard (not sexually. :P), hunter types. Now, remember, this is what his thought process was - I'm not saying I agree or disagree - to put two nurturers together would be a continuation of the soft, nuturing idea, whereas if you put two aggressives together, you get something that's on the completely opposite end of the spectrum.

Of course, my question to him was.. most gay couples that I know don't have two tops in the relationship, there's usually one male that takes the feminine role. (Please note the words usually.. I'm not saying that's always the case). He didn't quite have an answer for this, so I'm not sure he'd thought that through.

However, I just found it interesting as it was the same question I'd wondered and I got an answer from someone, so I figured I'd share. :)

Answer 2

It is because we live in a Patriarchal society. Men dominate over women in many ways. Because of this most men feel a sense of exhilleration over the thought of two women being together, because they feel that it will be "him" that turns the women back into a straight woman. For a male to assume a gay stance, the male figures what the hell is going on here? He has all the privelege of a male why would he want to take the subserviant role. So therefore it is the Partiarchy and not an issue of sexual preference per se.

Answer 3

Hypocrisy. Because the society is dominated by males. And 90% of men are straight, and a relatively good percentage of them are homophobes& hypocrites in the same time. It's so OK to show boobs, women kissing on TV, but when it comes to a simple kiss between two men, people rage. It's hypocrisy my friend.

Answer 4

I think its because women are more comfortable with their sexuality. Women can be affectionate to each other and it doesn't "define" their sexuality. However if a man and man are affectionate to each other (hugs, holding hands etc) then they are automatically defined as being homosexual. Which is dumb because whats wrong with being affectionate?

Basically men (not all men) feel threatened by homosexual behavior between two men because it disturbs their terms of what is acceptable. A woman and woman is not threatening to them, and so is more acceptable.

Does that make sense? Thats just my take on it.

Answer 5

The general view seems to be that female/female sex is "acceptable" as long as it's done for male enjoyment (many people wouldn't neccessarily articulate this, some would). Psuedolesbianism is tittilating and trendy.

Actual lesbians, women who don't need or want men, are subject to ridicule because men fear female masculinity.

Answer 6

Its not more acceptable, its just the ultimate straight man's fantasy, girl on girl. They are freaking silly. Like a lesbian would even consider letting a man in her bed with her woman? They are smoking crack! But they don't know any better. I do see the double standard though, and I think it sucks.

Answer 7

I agree with your thought.

I tend to enjoy the fact that two women can show closeness in public (holding hands - arm in arm) however, when it comes to men (don't get me wrong - I too am gay) I tend to think to myself - two men - hmm .. one should be the agressor and one should be the submissive. It's a difficult picture to decipher as my thought process takes me from the image of 'friendly warmth' (holding hands, arm in arm) versus the 'bedroom role' and confusing my visional take.

Does this make sense ?

I understand what I am trying to convey, I just hope it gets through.

bga

Answer 8

it's a macho thing! when straight men have sex with women they are usually the ones "in control." that's what society expects of them. if they are having sex with eachother it's like it puts a whole different spin on things and one is usually more submissive and people have a problem with that.

for women, who are usually the submissive sexual partner anyway, it's normal...and most guys consider women who take charge sexy...it's a win win situation with women.

Answer 9

A straight man watching two women getting down to it might get invited and get to play straight man with two women

A straight man watching two men getting down to it might get invited and get to play gay man with two men.

Oh but he's straight he'd NEVER lie with two men - it's disgusting

That is the boundary of the thought processes in a straight man.

His loss.

Answer 10

Um thats not exactly true. No one says its "acceptable". In fact, I think the homophobiasts get on the the womens' cases as much as the men.