I have been dating my boyfriend for 2 years. When we had 1yr dating we talked about getting marry. I'm 22 years old. We had a date and everything, but he didn't actually give me the ring b/c he was finishing paying it. He got into financial problems and we couldn't afford to get marry, we canceled it. I live with my parents they didn't agree they said I was too young. My parents decided to buy a house 45 min away from where we left. I couldn't afford paying an apartment and I couldn't move with my boyfriend b/c I don't believe in a relationship outside marriage. so anyway I moved with my parents. I don't see my boyfriend anymore, we have a phone relationship most of the time. He is always working and in practice in a band that he is at. Now I tell him that we can get marry, a small wedding no matter what people say, but he said that he doesn't know b/c I decided to leave after telling me to stay and that things r hard. I love him. He tells me he loves me. What should I think or do?
2007-03-08 03:25:30 · 14 answers · asked by magito816 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Not sure about the love thing on his part. you are young and have alot of life ahead of you. why don't you just back off the marriage thing and start enjoying life and things that you enjoy. Who know what will happen.
2007-03-08 03:30:32 · answer #1 · answered by txO3blueeyes 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People here can't (or shouldn't) tell you what to think or do.
We can only offer our opinions & advice drawn from our own experiences, but it is still up to you to decide.
As a former musician, I can tell you right now that you probably won't be happy both emotionally, or financially.
It doesn't sound like he will be capable of supporting a wife or family for a long time to come either.
We musicians work strange hours, sleep most of the day (because we are up all night) & travel a lot as well. The more work we get, the more we travel. We work during most of the time when others are home celebrating, like Christmas, & New Years. Even the most successful musicians & artists are away from their families most of the time.
The number one hazzard for musicians is addiction. It could be addiction to drugs, alcohol, or sex, or all three at the same time. We rarely bring home any money, even when we are working because our expenses for equipment, food & lodging & travel far exceeds what we earn.
I can promise you that as long as he is anything less than a nationally famous artist that you will probably be the primary breadwinner in your family if you marry him.
I personally don't believe that long distance relationships work. Now if you didn't catch my drift so far, you will still remain in a long distance relationship with him as long as he remains a musician, even if you do marry him.
If you really need someone to tell you what to do, then LISTEN TO YOUR PARENTS. They are advising you because they LOVE you, & want you to be HAPPY.
2007-03-08 11:44:46 · answer #2 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are both a little immature to get married. If you are 22 your should be able to get a job and an apartment where he lives, if you wanted to make this work. I think that you should get yourself on track before considering marriage maybe go to school so you can get a good job. Don't jump into a marriage that may eventually end in divorce.
2007-03-08 11:31:19 · answer #3 · answered by mom of twins 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should move in with him. How will you know if your even compatible to be married if you've never lived together? Living together pretty much makes or breaks a relationship and i dont think you should just get married so you can live together, thats really old fashion. Times have changed and if you not careful your gonna loose your boyfriend. You only live once so what are you waiting for.
2007-03-08 11:32:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Firstly, don't overanalize the situation. Keep in mind he's a guy. That means he's not putting much thought into it.
Secondly, communicate openly. Don't "hint" or send subtle cues his way. He is a guy and probably like most guys, clueless to hints. Be open.
Lastly, just ask him his intentions. "I don't know" usually means "we should see other people". If he's not into you just move on. If he is into you than fine.
The relationship will not work without communication.
2007-03-08 11:32:00 · answer #5 · answered by dww32720 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your relationship whether phone or not is going to work he needs to understand how you feel when it comes to living together before marriage, and that if he wants to be with you then it's marriage or nothing then you will have to also face the fact that if he says he doesn't want to marry then you both need to move on.
2007-03-08 11:32:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if he loved you so much as you say he does, why hasn't he married you yet. If he's not getting anything from you what makes you think he's not getting it somewhere else. And whats he doing after band practice going home alone? I don't think so. You should get rid of that loser, you deserve better.
2007-03-08 11:30:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think, at 22 you shouldn't be living with your parents!
I also think that, he is trying to control you and you don't need that. Move on. You've moved away, he's busy with his life, and I'm sure girls, so don't hang on to what you "had". Move on and make a life for yourself where you are and get your own place!!!!!
2007-03-08 11:32:11 · answer #8 · answered by Nana 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you love him and he loves you, keep trying.You don't have to get married right away. My mom didn't get married till she was 35. You have plenty of time. Work it out with him. I'm sure it will make you happy.
2007-03-08 11:29:04 · answer #9 · answered by amberlynne_2007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
haha... hes cheating on you.. sad to say it but i think he is.... if he was really in love with you he would drop what hes doing and get your lives together... its gonna be hard but you should really think about moving on.... this guys in a band, working all the time.... and all of the sudden he's telling you no!!! if he loved you he would be thinking about you 24/7.....
2007-03-08 11:30:45 · answer #10 · answered by c t 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋