Should we end our marriage?

Question

I've been married for 2 years to the mother of my 2year old son. We have very little in common, including religion. She is depressed all of the time. I am a happy person in all aspects of my life except my relationship with her. I can't break off the marriage because I don't want to hurt my son. Our communication is bad and we don't agree on much. What should I do?

Answer 1

Try marriage counseling first before considering a divorce.

Answer 2

If you had enough of a relationship to concieve a son, maybe you can get that back. If she is depressed she needs to see a doctor (depression is very common and so easily treatable). Make the appointment and take her! Counseling is another option that can help you both. Marriage isn't about bailing when the going gets tough. Marraige is the hardest job you'll ever have but the one with the most benefits. Treat your wife like you want to be treated. Take her for walks, give her a back rub at night (warm some baby oil on the stove or in the microwave), leave her a few notes around the house, or in her jacket pocket or on the bathroom mirror just before you leave in the morning. Take her out to dinner and a movie and hire the babysitter yourself! Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 3

You will hurt your son more by staying in an unhappy marriage. If you and you're wife don't have anything in common, can't communicate and don't show any affection toward one another, that's the example your son will follow in his own relationships in the future.

You don't mention if you married simply for your child or if there has ever been any love between you. Before you decide to end your marriage, make sure you've done all you can to to save it. Go to couples counseling, learn how to communicate with one another. Have her see someone for her depression. Have you expressed to your wife how you feel? If ending the marriage is your only option, then do it amicably with the understanding that your welfare of your child will always come first and that the two of you will treat each other respectfully in the years to come.

Answer 4

Seek couseling and try to relive the days that gave you the desire to get married. Marriage is a huge commitment that people no longer take seriuosly. Marriage like everything else in life is something that you have to constantly work on. It is not always suppose to be perfect. When your job gets tough, do you quit? Or do you work through it? Give it all you got...and when you can honestly say that you gave your marriage EVERYTHING you have, and you can look into the eyes of your beautiful son and say that I tried my BEST, then you know its time to gracefully bow put. But until then TRY! PUSH! And remember, that's marriage, it's filled with obstacles that test the strenght and the foundation of your commitment. The hardest thing about any commitment is staying committed. It's a process, take it one day at a time.

Good Luck..God Bless

Answer 5

Staying married for the sake of the child isn't doing him much good, especially when he's a little older. Children see & hear all. If you truly still love your wife, then the two of you should get counseling together. Maybe your wife's being depressed is related to the things she's unhappy with in your marriage & she doesn't know how to correct the problems herself. Work harder on your communication. It won't fix itself overnight but it is fixable if you both want it badly enough. If you both have given it your best shot & you feel that it's best to go your seperate ways, then you can do so, knowing that you at least tryed.

Answer 6

If you are going to eventually leave, it won't matter to the child when you do it. It is still going to be painful. Staying together is making you both miserable and believe me, the child can pick up on that pain. You'll end up hurting the child more by being upset all the time. The child is young and eventually will understand what happened and has ample time to cope with it. Don't wait until you've created another depressed dysfunctional child. Leave now if you know that's what ultimately is going to happen. Make sure you spend a lot of time with your child before, during and after the break up. They'll thank you for it later.

Answer 7

Did you make a promise to her the day you married her? I'm pretty sure you did, you promised to love her, honor her, cherish her... in good times and bad, sickness and health, richer or poorer, etc., etc. If you're not happy with your marriage, then work on it! Seek counseling if you need to, but obviously at one point in your life you felt you had enough in common with this woman to not only have sex with her, but also to marry her. If your communication is bad, work on that. Listen to her, be there for her. Spend a day where you think of her and her feelings before thinking of your own, and then repeat that the next day. She may be dealing with post partum depression as well (untreated). I'm sure your religious differences existed when you guys married, and it didn't bother you then, so why is it an issue now? Think of your child as well, you have a responsibility to him. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but you've given me absolutely no reason to think you should end your marriage, other than your own selfishness.

Answer 8

First, I would try to talk to her. I mean a serious heart to heart talk. If things don't change, than I would leave. For one, children do not like parents to stay together on their behalf. Trust me, if your parents are constantly in dismay than so will a child be. If you can not work things out and do the falling in love all over again, than I would move on, but with her well aware of it, because you don't want it to come as a shock to her, and her make things tough on you and your son. You only get one shot at life, and you need to make the best of it. Besides I was in a relationship with a man that was depressed all the time and I am a very happy person. He drove me crazy, thank God I got out just in the nick of time. Good luck with all...

Answer 9

That really depends on if you love her. If you are genuinely interested in her concerns, ambitions, and future, you should realise that all of the things that are holding you back from a good relationship are illusions.

If you don't love his mother your son will sense that. You should make a clean break and continue to support your son financially and as a father. This will give his mother the opportunity to find someone that will make her happy. And you will have the same opportunity.

Answer 10

I am sorry but I don't agree that you should be in an unhappy marriage for the sake of a child. This actually doesn't help him to grow up in a stressful unhappy environment. Try counseling and if things dont improve get a divorce and share custody of the child.

Answer 11

Romance her , take her to a bed and breakfast and do something very romantic in the evening. A little music a little wine some rose pedals you get the idea. Then when you get home sign up for dance lessons now you guys have something in commom to talk about and do. Then start planning a trip on your anniversary to show off your dance moves and have fun! you need to keep the spark going, I let my spark go out and now I'm all alone.