my boyfriend and i have been together for 16 months we both want to get married, to each other. we talk about it often. he asks me all sorts of weird questions like about land and houses and kids...we've looked at rings...the whole nine yards about our future together. he keeps saying he wants me to get outta college first, but then the other night he popped up and said he'd been thinking about marriage a lot that day while he was at work. i asked why? (because he'd already told me it would basically be 5 years since that is how long it will take to get my degree.) then he just dropped the subject...i don't understand him....hes going from wanting to, to wanting to wait it seems like and it is very frustrating. why wont he just ask me? you can be engaged for years before marriage....you don't have to do it right away.
2007-03-08 03:15:51 · 18 answers · asked by Krys 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just let him know in casual conversation that you would be willing to get engaged and wait til you graduate before marrying him, it's a step forward in the relationship, and you are ready for it.
2007-03-08 03:18:45 · answer #1 · answered by no1bucsfan26 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I were wed after being together 7 years. We were only engaged 1 year. She also wanted to be done with college before getting married.
People go through different levels of enthusiasm over time. Give him a break. Personally I wouldn't bring up the subject much until you are both close to your pre-marriage goals. Your marriage will be better if you don't get married too soon.
2007-03-08 04:07:53 · answer #2 · answered by Martin Pedersen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to be engaged for 5 yrs that's nuts. He is unsure, and let me tell you. If a man is not 100% sure and did not give this a lot of thought then you are one of the many who are headed for divorce down the road. Back off, if you truly believe that you are going to grow old together then what is the rush
2007-03-08 03:36:50 · answer #3 · answered by Kat G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel your pain. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 years and weve been talking about it for 4 years! They just want to make sure that this is the one. Im sure he's only planning on getting married once so you just need to be patient with him. My boyfriend is asking me in a few weeks (yes I know- its a long story)but I had to wait 6 years! The more you bug him the worse it will be -TRUST ME! However you could always throw him thru a loop and you ask him, I mean it IS 2007!
2007-03-08 03:22:28 · answer #4 · answered by fireworksncastles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wish I could help but my boyfriend is the same way. Only I'm 35 and he is 38 we don't have anything to wait on anymore. We both have great careers and we live is a house together. I wish he'd ask already too!
2007-03-08 03:19:44 · answer #5 · answered by Valentina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because YOU are ready to hear the question doesn't mean that he is ready to say it.
1st it will be the degree, then it will be a house, & then it will be something else. He is rationalizing his way out of a firm commitment.
No marriage can start out on a perfect footing. A relationship between two people needs to be full of compromises. Either he is waiting for everything to be perfect including the alignment of all the planets, or he is just giving you lip service just to keep you satisfied as long as he can.
It will have to be up to you to decide which one it is.
2007-03-08 03:27:38 · answer #6 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Who says he has to ask you. Sounds like he is feeling you out to see if you want to now and maybe you didn't react how he thought you would so he dropped it. Why don't you plan a special evening and ASK HIM.. All he can say is he wants to wait. Nothing lost. Or maybe at least explain if you got engaged now you could wait on the wedding until after graduation. Good Luck
2007-03-08 03:22:15 · answer #7 · answered by smile4u 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you really want him to ask you before he is ready just because you are? if the relationship is working now and you are both happy let time go by whats the point in pushing him if had asked you before you got ready would you think he was rushing you?as long as you are both happy leave it alone the time will come and it will be perfect i am sure
2007-03-08 03:24:10 · answer #8 · answered by patbgone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's only been 16 months. You two need to slow this down before you head this relationship over a cliff (it it's not too late already).
It takes a while to know a person's real character.
2007-03-08 03:24:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend took forever to ask little did I know he was saving for the perfect ring that he designed himself you never know what a guys thinking but if he says he wants to marry you he probably does dont push too much (a littles ok :)
2007-03-08 03:21:34 · answer #10 · answered by badluckbear1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋