is this poem correct? i wrote it, i am 13 and just any changes i can do:
A LITTLE PATRIOT'S PRAYER
When our whole world changed
on that day in september, the president
said something that i'll always remember.
he asked our country to pray.
so pray, i did.
because prayers have power.
even prayers from a kid.
So i pray, lord,
for the president,
Thathe'll do what is right.
i pray for our armed forces.
keep them safe as they fight,
Let your will be done through the world,
so this evil will cease,
so we can grow up,
and still have a world of
love, hope and peace
Amen!
2007-03-08 03:09:54 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Education & Reference ➔ Special Education
For a 13 year old, this poem is well written and the only thing that needs fixing is where is says "THATHE'LL DO WHAT IS RIGHT." it should be "THAT HE'LL DO WHAT IS RIGHT. You just need to put a space and you're alllll good. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!! =)
2007-03-08 03:48:36 · answer #1 · answered by ashleyr0308 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a wonderful poem that seems to truly be written from your heart. Poetry is all about freedom of expression and I would never call a poem correct or incorrect - it is what it is and different people will have different reactions to it. I think it is great!
That being said, if you are handing it in at school, my guess is that you will be marked on spelling, punctuation, etc. You may want to capitalize your "i"s and the beginning of each sentence.
Keep writing!
2007-03-08 04:03:51 · answer #2 · answered by Kim W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The structure should use a little work--but it's good.
And your thoughs are great--and I don't even like Bush! :)
2007-03-08 03:55:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats a great poem you should turn it in at school or something or even try to get it published...good job!
2007-03-08 10:34:55 · answer #4 · answered by QueenB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good job kiddo!
2007-03-08 03:14:01 · answer #5 · answered by someone 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋