My daughter is now almost 2 months old, and she was conceived from rape by my ex boyfriend. I never reported it, however I do have emails where he admits to doing so. He moved states away, but when I had my daughter he moved back. I have allowed him to see her, but he is getting very creepy. He calls several times a day, randomly shows up at my house, is outside my house and doesn't even tell me... and he tells people we are together even though we aren't. He is completely obsessed. When I was still pregnant he threatened to kill me and kidnap my child, I have a text message to prove that. He was also physically abusive in our relationship, and I have emails to prove that as well. He also has been seeing a counselor whom he has told all of those things to.
He is not on her birth certificate And I don't want him around her anymore... Is it possible to get full custody of her, and to get a restraining order?
Thanks for your help.
Nicole
Seattle, Washington
2007-03-08 03:06:47 · 19 answers · asked by ogs_gf 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Go get an order of protection NOW. File a police report every time he comes over. If you don't feel safe, call the cops. Order a background check on him. I think you have a GOOD shot of getting full custody.
2007-03-08 03:10:34 · answer #1 · answered by B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a restraining order NOW, TODAY - it won't keep him back from hanging around you maybe (most guys like that don't care about restraining-orders, anyway), but the more you have on file against him, the better (like if he breaks the restraining order). Keep record of everything he says, emails, does.
Don't allo him to enter your house and don't go out alone - have a male friend or relative with you, always, whenever you leave the house.
Make the cops aware of the situation - even, if there's no emergency situation at this moment, one might occur in the future, and the cops will have an eye on your home, when they know the situation and they can react faster in case of an emergency.
Also inform your neighbours, that he's stalking you, so they can have an eye on you and your daughter and on the ongoings. Aware neighbours can be a big help.
This situation is awful, I've been there before. I left the area back than and live in relative safety now, but still cautious. We informed the local cops about the situation, too.
2007-03-12 05:13:54 · answer #2 · answered by Chevrolet*Blazer*Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The longer you wait, the harder it will be to get full custody of your child. You need to document everything. You better get to a court house today! If you wait the court is going to look at it like it's not that big of a deal because you didn't do anything about it. You should have pressed charges but I know a lot of women don't. You need to tell the judge what went on. I would suggest to the court that since he raped you he has a history and ask for only supervised visits. You will not get a TRO if you don't go now and take care of it. Call your local victims office or a battered women's worker. They can help you and will go to court with you. I've been through this and I can tell you the longer you wait the worse it's going to turn out for you AND the baby. Take care of it today. Don't wait any longer. You're putting your life and your baby's life in danger. Please realize that once you have left an abusive person that's when they get much more violent and aggresive. Get to the court and the police now.
2007-03-08 12:56:53 · answer #3 · answered by musicpanther67 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Nicole from Seattle Washington (as am I :) )
Since he is not on the birth certificate then that means paternity was not established therefore you already have sole custody. Do you feel he may want to bring this to court? If he does bring this to court, You need to explain your situation clearly, that's very important. The main point is for you to convince the judge there is "good cause" in this case and will list the father unknown. Once thats established, he will no longer have rights as a "father" and then you can get a restraining order and he will have to leave you alone.
My condolences, for what happened to you. Its a shame men feel the need to still rape women. Everything happens for a reason right? If he didn't come into your life, You wouldn't have your beautiful baby girl :) Everything will be fine....
God Bless and I wish you and your baby the best in life!
2007-03-08 11:21:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should start taking the legal steps to protect you and the child and for the sake of having legal record. Start with the restraining order.
Can you get a lawyer? Many lawyers offer free advice on the phone for a first time call. A good place to get started is by making some calls to child custody lawyers. This will give you an idea of how to proceed, even if you can't afford a lawyer.
Start recording all incidents with dates and times in a notebook, try to remember to the best of your knowledge the incidents that happened before today as well.
2007-03-08 11:25:16 · answer #5 · answered by Me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you cant go to the police contact a women's shelter and explain your situation. They may be able to help you with restraining orders, counseling and such. In the laws Eyes you have full custody and he has no say because he is not listed as the father. He would have to get a paternity test to prove otherwise. If he is hanging around unwelcome call the police for stalking.
2007-03-08 15:56:19 · answer #6 · answered by momof3 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if you can prove he raped you then that eliminates any custody and parental rights he has...My friend was raped and had a baby out of it and the guy who raped her had no parental rights and was not allowed to see the child.
If you have proof of him threatening you and saying that he is going to kidnap the child then yes you can get a restraining order.
I would suggest you print out all the evidance and take it to the police station or have a police officer come to your house and show them the evidance and tell them you want the man out of you and your childs life
2007-03-08 15:24:03 · answer #7 · answered by Diamonds_Glow 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course you can get a restraining order and I wonder why you have not yet. What could you be waiting for? This man sounds very dangerous and you need to protect your child. Call the authorities and do something today.
2007-03-08 11:11:45 · answer #8 · answered by Born2Bloom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im not sure about cali, but in ohio the law states that any unwed woman who gives birth is automatically the sole custodian of that child. save the emails and threatening msgs he left and file for a restraining order to keep him away. good luck and god bless you and your daughter
2007-03-11 22:19:04 · answer #9 · answered by smartie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can. You need to go the police right now. If he threatened you the first time he might just go through with it and god forbid he do that. That is just sad that he would do that to you. They should put that jerk in jail. But i wish you the best in getting custody. Cause my son father threatened me the same way and i don't have time for the foolishness. If you scared you could go to a battered women's shelter, just long enough for them to put him in jail. So good luck and i wish you the best in you and your child's future.
2007-03-08 14:22:24 · answer #10 · answered by ♥♥♥ H☮TMAMA ♥♥♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋