Serious Answers only please?

Question

I have a question preferably for married men/women only. I am 25 and my husband is 29. We have been together for 6 years and married for 1. We have a 3 month old daughter and I am a stay at home mom. Now here is my question- what would you say is the "right" amount of times to have sex every week. We have what I would call a healthy sex life, considering we have a newborn. 2-3 times a week and for some reason I think he feels he is deprived. He isnt a sex maniac or anything, just an average guy. What do you all think? Is that enough? Or should we rustle up the time/energy to get in a little more during the week? Please, only serious answers. Thank-You

Answer 1

I'm going to honestly say that if he wants more sex, he needs to take an ACTIVE role in helping you with the baby. It doesn't matter if you're a stay at home mom - chances are that with a newborn, you're NOT sitting on the couch eating bon-bons all day! Your child is 3 months old, so your body is still bouncing back from the wear & tear of carrying your child & giving birth; it's physically exhausting! Your emotions are bouncing back while struggling with post-partum depression. You say you THINK he's feeling deprived? TALK to him and find out for sure. 2-3 times a week should be PLENTY right now!

Answer 2

I'm in a similar situation actually. I'm also a stay at home mom with a young daughter and our ages and relationship lengths are similar. Let me tell you, you have a healthy sex life. I'm actually surprised you find as much time as you do! I don't think there's a 'right' amount...I think it just depends on what feels right for the BOTH of you. I don't think it should be a forced thing. If it goes on that way, then you may start just disliking it altogether and feel resentful, since you'd be doing it somewhat unwillingly. If it's something you two are arguing about, I'd suggest talking about it with a counselor if it seems you can't work it out on your own. Otherwise, go ahead and rustle up the time and energy to get in a little more if you really WANT to. You should both be respecting each others wishes, and always making an effort to compromise.

Answer 3

I'm 36 and my wife is 32. Married for 15 years. Three kids 14, 12, 5. Wife is stay home mom and home school teacher.

I guess the first thing I would ask is has he told you he feels deprived? Or have you asked him if he thinks he is deprived?

2-3 times per week IMO is actually quite a bit considering a 3-month old in the house which I know for sure drains you as a stay home mom. Hopefully you are getting help from him with the daughter.

I think at this point you have some communication to make with your husband. How does he feel? And don't just ask "would you like to do it more, honey?" b/c he won't say no for sure! Start with "how do you honestly feel about our sex life" or similar.

Post an update if you can.

Answer 4

OK, I am a mother of 2 children (although they are both teenagers now). If you are having sex with your husband 2-3 times a WEEK on top of caring for a 3 month old and adjusting to being a stay at home mother, your husband should be singing your praises. When my kids were that age, we were lucky to get it once a month!! I would say you have an EXTREMELY healthy sex life, unless you're doing it out of obligation. Make sure you're up for all this as well.

However, if you feel up to being intimate more often, go for it. I just could never get the energy and the "eau de mom" smell out of my hair. (you know, spit up, diapers, etc.) Smelling like baby poop has never really been ultra-sexy to me, ya know?

Enjoy that new little one! I'm sure she's adorable, and you're just getting into the really fun part. She's getting a personality, but not mobile yet!! Have fun!!!

Answer 5

Talk about a loaded question!

I would think that the "right" amount of times is something that is between you and your hubby.

I think what you may be seeing in your husband is very common. A newborn requires so much of Mom's attention that Dad offen feels left out or neglected. Mom's sex drive drops the closer she gets to delivery. For a while at lest after delivery she is sore and healing.

It will take a little time to get back to the same level of activity you enjoyed before the baby came along, but it will happen. And it does take understanding on both your parts.

Answer 6

you have an average sex life. if he is feeling deprived it is only because of the baby, most new moms are consumed with their newborns for up to a year. hes probably just feeling a little ignored. He used to have all your attention and now he has to share. this is normal. if you are feeling bad about it then find other small ways to reassure him. hold his hand when you watch tv, make sure to find a little time to remind him how much you love him. if you think having sex a little more often will alleviate the problem then try it. but just make sure he knows that he is still loved and adored, and that you are new to juggling a baby and a husband. it'll get better

Answer 7

Well what use to be a spontaneous act now needs planning!

I know that when you have a child your life changes this is where good communication pays big Dividends.

Sexual Intimacy does always mean "doing it" the physical act

It is important to respect the small acts of Kindness if he watches the baby so you can take a bubble bath and relax will go along way in creating a good environment for you to feel close to each other.

Remember talk openly and plan special times together and in between those time build the anticipation and excitement!

so when you do "do it" it will be great remember Quality over Quantity

Answer 8

this in an individual question, some ppl think a few times a month is normal and some think a few times a day is normal. sometimes immediately after having a child things calm down, after all taking care of a 3 month old will wear u down. If you feel he's deprived and may want to give more, maybe you can have a family member take ur daughter for a night or a weekend...and see what happens...

Answer 9

Any woman who has been married knows that there are times when you just have to give in to please your husband, that's a fact of life. Personally I want it all the time but I'm 47 years old and I don't have a newborn baby to take care of. With a three month old baby and having sex 2-3 times a week I'm guessing that you are already giving in to him at times when you'd rather just curl up and get some sleep. How willing is he to help you out so you can have the time to be in the mood for sex and if he is would you be willing to let him. We can be very protective of our babies, even at the expense of our husband's getting the feeling that we don't think they can care for the baby.

Answer 10

There is no right answer to your question. Different people prefer different things.

If you areup to going 4-5 times a week, go for it, if 2-3 is working, keep it at that.

The best thing for you to do is to sit your man down and talk to him about it. See what he thinks, then give your feelings on the matter. It's sex, it is supposed to be fun, not a job, if you start thinking about the amount of times you have to do it, it will lose the fun factor.