iam undeicided about what i should do?

Question

im pretty sure that most of you have heard the story about my husband and my mother and my husband's 12 year old daughter and her sisters. now i have a new problem that iam
not sure what to do about. it is nothing big but i need to settle it
before my husband and i go any futher into being married.
as the story was told my mom really does not care much for
my husband because he is good to me and iam married now
and it is not about doing for her anymore. well i have a family
reunion in alabama august 17, 2007 and that is my hubands
daughter 14th birthday. he wants to stay with her and not
with me to our first family reunion. is said we can take
her out on the day before we leave for her birthday he said ok.
now everytime i ask him to go with me to family or friends
functions he dont want to go but it is okay for me to be around
his family such as his daughter and her sisters who dont like
me. now he dont want go to family reunion what should i do?
he says its my mom.

Answer 1

First of all, if he has a daughter outside of this marriage, then he has certain responsibilities to her. She is only 14 and you need to put her needs above your own. Second, if you want him to come to your family reunion you should discuss that with him and explain why you want him to come. You two are married and you need to start acting like it.

Answer 2

Well you can't blame him for not hanging around your family.
And vice versa..
point is you don't' have to go to all family functions cause.. YOU have HAVE your OWN family..
your extended family of parents, sisters and brothers and uncles and aunts are not your life anymore.

So as far as functions are concerned YOUR family comes first the rest is secondary. I have skipped family reunions many times and nobody cared one way or the other.
If you are going to have to go to another state and miss your stepdaughters birthday.. what kind of a step Mom are you?
When your 12 it is important to have the people you love at the party.. unless you and her don't' get along, you stay home girl, and be a family with the man you chose to spend the rest of your life with!~.
Untie those darn apron strings, your still too connected to people that you did not choose to be with the rest of your life.

Answer 3

Make a compromise.. 1/2 day at the reunion, 1/2 day celebrating the daughter's birthday... Tell your mom that you would hate to miss the reunion because of the shotty treatment she gives your husband.. If he doesn't go, she's won... If you boycott because of your mom, that would also send a strong statement, but you will have to live with the guilt of not going...

Answer 4

I think that the daughter's birthday should be first on his list and yours. It sounds to me like there are issues with other family members on both sides. These have to be dealt with also,but later. Children should come first in a parents life. Since you chose to marry a man with a daughter,you also should choose to accept her into your life. You are the adult here. I doesn't matter if the daughter doesn't like you. Let her know that you will be there with her father to welcome her into your heart when she is ready. If she doesn't respond, you will not be jeopardizing your marriage. Explain to your family. It's only a reunion. It will be next year also. Ask them to never schedule it on the 17th anymore. If they care that you come, it shouldn't be a problem. Don't make this a ......you choose her or me issue ...with your husband.

Answer 5

The girl's birthday out ranks family reunion!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't make him choose between his daughter and a mother in law who has made his life more diffucult. If you skip the reunion you are also saying to him and your mother that your husband out ranks her now.

Give it some time, don't force the issue. If you want to see your family and it is not during scheduled time with your husband and step daughter then go, with or with out him.

Do your best to mend the breech with is family. If he has any sense, he will start doing the same. He may just need proof that he is the most important person in your life.

Answer 6

okay let me understand this.. your husband does not want to leave his daughter on her birthday, and does not want to go to your family reunion.

how about if you and your husband take his daughter and her sister to the family reunion. Try to make a family vacation out of it. Find some fun things for the girls to do.

Answer 7

sounds like he is making excuses, you need to either find a happy medium with doing family things or get out of the marriage,, your mother may be overbearing and a beotch but she still is your family, and he should put up with it for the little time you are together, my opinion is blended families never work, always some adversity to others children,

your mother is just bent out of shape because you have a ready made family,, my mother was all hurt when I married someone with kids, ( now divorced because kids wrecked alot my nice stuff along with alot of other problems )

Answer 8

Your life can be affected by this, you must put everyone together and tell them where they all stand, and make sure your husband know that mother doesn't rule your marriage either!
Tell mother your not going to take her bad mouthing your husband like she has and to grow up already because you made your choice.

Answer 9

Well I agree with him on this one. you should be in town for his daughters birthday. I am sure that he and his daughter feels like you value your family more than his. I understand that you would like to attend your party, what about you take his daughter out for a wonderful breakfast and then leave for al? If this is not possible I feel that you need to sacrfice your party for his daughter.

Answer 10

Sweet home Alibama! Sounds quite simple to me, he's married to you now, o.k. he has to see to his daughters needs but surely he can bring her to your family reunion, however sounds like he's not putting you top of the list. Go to your reunion, tell him if he doesn't want to crap on the pot to get off!!!!!!