I am depressed and cannot get her off my mind. please help?

Question

My girlfriend broke up with at the end of January. I cannot get her out of my head. She is all that i think about. I try to occupy myself by doing activities that i enjoy. I even joined a gym and have been working out. No matter what i do i cannot stop thinking about her. When i wake up she is the first thing that comes into my mind. When i go to sleep she is the last thing that is on my mind. Her and I agreed to be friends, but i have recently decided to give her space. I have decided that if she wants to hang out with me, she can contact me. At first i was doing all of the contacting, but that was a bad mistake. We hung out twice last week and we both had a good time. Now I feel like this just makes it worse. I cant get her off my mind! What can i do? I am extremly depressed and need some good advice. thanks

we didnt break up due to any problems.. in fact the relationship was perfect. She has some problems (bad relationships, health problems, im not badmouthing her)and she just "didnt feel it"

Answer 1

This is a tough one, but it is the oldest story on the planet. You aint alone. My wife and I divorced after 15 years,4 years ago, and i still lover her. all you can do is keep doing what you are doing...work, work out, do your hobbies...( i took up skiing) Go out with other women. hang with your buddies. Try to remember why you guys broke up....she wasnt perfect, was she? try thinking of stuff she did to annoy you...

I have a new girlfeind...prettier, smarter, funnier, freindlier than the X, and all my freinds say they lover her! I do too, but when i am alone, mrs x still enters my mind, and i get sad sometimes. Time makes it better, but lets face it...she is part of who you are, and always will be...ya just gotta move on.

Answer 2

Yes I hear exactly what youre saying* It IS hard to get a person off your mind cuz you're hurting so much. WHy did you two break up in January? You both did agree tho to remain friends, and unfortunately that is what you'll have to do. It must have been very difficult going out again last week, and trying to be "friends"...when you soo want it to be the way it was. You made the right choice by giving her space...and letting her know to call you when she wants rather than you wondering when to call.
You're doing all that you can do right now...workingout, keeping busy.....there's not much more you can do. You don't seem like you're ready to move on, she hasn't as of yet moved on ..but either sit with her and say will we ever have a chance of getting us back on track or seriously do you feel Friendship is the best and both of us are to move on. ONce you have your answer...you'll then be able to move on. Go out with different groups of friends (where she's not going to be there) and get to know other ppl. or you'll be trapped in this time warp of HURT and Depression* You are worth it and will find another to Love that will Love you in return* Don't give up Hope* Keep on Smlin* and get on out there....meet other ppl. I'm sure in the next couple of months, especially with summer around the corner...You will Meet a new Love to Love* Best wishes* :)

Answer 3

well you want i advice i will give it to you but if you don't do it would be a waste of my time. you acknolege you did a mistake because you made the situation worst toward how you feel. usually the mistakes we make are to learn from them. DONT SEE HER N-E MORE> x's are X"S you cross them out of your life. Even though you think its not very helpful to try to intertain your self with activities whithin time you'll adjust to it. i mean be realistic .. do you really think you will be thinking about her all your life>>>??? and be heard about it???? she broke up with you her lost you broke up with her your fault... bottom line stop being depressed. you make the choices here. TRYING to occupy your self is not enough occupy your self really. if she try's to come back or call you just let her know that you the past relationship beetween you and her still burdens you and that you think its best not to talk. if she respects your disition without any other suggestions don't regret your disition but if she doesn't do not listen to her because she will only cause more hurting. explain what you think was a mistake .... and remember nothing good or bad lastest forever

Answer 4

You've been doing all the things that needs to be done because from your post you sound like a reasonable person. The only thing you have to do now is accept this feelings, recognise them as part of a healing process and then give yourself time to heal. Is not often easy to heal from a painful and broken relationship, but with time you will heal and be happy again.

This is for you:
Even though there is rain in my heart
Even though there is a storm in my head
Even though there is a hole in my life, right now,
without you, I will learn to live again,
Because, when next the sun will shine ,
on my dreams and feilds of hope,
I will bloom in love again.

Answer 5

ex-lovers cant be friends - unless one must i.e. kids are involved! socialise with other people, go OUT, meet different people - gym isnt enough - if anything gym makes you think of the situations going on in your life!
secondly, a lot of girls do this - i.e. hang around with their ex if they sense that he may want her back, because they love the initial feeling - its like the relationship has started from scratch and shes trying so hard to get you to like her [not that any woman would ever admit to that] - you know the chasing game. If you are strong and smart enough you wont let her in on your feelings - then she'll be like "well what the hells wrong with him, why isnt he chasing me". try find other women to do stuff with i.e. go shopping, so you have things of interest to talk about since you keep hanging out. anyway its all a mind game - maybe this post doesnt make sense - but unfortunately a lot of women operate in this moronic way.

Answer 6

stop all contact altogether. you will be over her in 2 weeks. do it....