How would you treat the child of your husband, with another woman?

Question

The mistress is dead and your husband wants to bring "home" the kid?

No, the child became known only after the mother died.

Answer 1

I would treat the child as if he/she were my own. I mean children are not responsible for being born so I don't think they should be punished because they might be put in situations they didn't choose to be in.

Take care of the child. You dont have to be close to her/him at first because that may take some time depending on the childs age and if he/she was attached to the mother.

I understand you may be hurt but this isn't the childs fault either. Don't think of it as your husbands mistresses kid, think of it as a child you adopted or took in and love it just like it was your own.

Hope everything works out!

Answer 2

I think you should change your attitude a bit. You have a preconcieved idea that you will not like this child and it will upset your household. I think you need somewhat of an attitude adjustment. If you show your husband that you are rejecting this child and refuse to let him bring home his child, your marriage will eventually be destroyed. Remember this child had nothing to do with your husband's indescretion. She or he is innocent. Don't you think he hasn't got misgivings, but that is his flesh and blood, even if the child's mother was his mistress, you must try to open your heart to this child and see where it goes. When he brings her home, greet her with open arms, a good attitude and hope that things work out. The fact that your husband had a mistress, whether it was before you met her, or during your marriage; you did not make that clear, you have to try to forgive on many levels...be the bigger person, be the person with the heart and remember its about the child.......and whatever happened between your husband and you will be resolved. Give it a chance. If it doesn't work out, then other arrangements will have to be made, but don't think ahead and be filled with resentment and hate. Replace it with love and understanding. Pray to God for help...he will hear your prayers.

Answer 3

Wow! I can understand your dilemma! First, I'd beat the crap out of my spouse and then I would prepare a room for the child. It is NOT that child's fault for what your spouse did! It is hard to swallow this, but if you're going to stay with your spouse after finding out he cheated, then you have to take all the consequences that come with it. Do you not feel any sympathy for the child? Imagine, the kid's mom is dead and now the "new mother" ends up being an angry "stepmonster"!! Come on. It is NOT that child's fault!! No resenment or anger should be placed upon that poor child!! Look at the crap luck he/she's already gotten, just for being born! And the way you typed your question......SHAME ON YOU! You sound like a b*ch! For the kid's sake I hope your husband moves him/her in and boots you on your a55!

Answer 4

I have had that situation and I am glad to say that I treated that child just as I would my own and it is a very gratifying experience. Yeah the child is a product of something you don't want to remember, but this child is still a part of your husband and a child innocent and lovable. Be the bigger person and allow the love of a child into your life I don't think you will ever regret it. I didn't

Answer 5

Well, first you have to decide if you are staying married to your husband. If you want to keep your husband, next you have to decide if you want to raise a child. If not, you can't really keep your husband. If you do want a child, you'd better love that child as your own and give it all the attention and opportunities that you would a child of your own womb.

The child doesn't deserve less just because of the circumstance of its birth.

If you decide to love the child but hate your husband, everyone will suffer for it. You can't change the past by ruining the rest of your lives.

Answer 6

That is a hard situation for a woman to be put in. You have to know in your heart that it is no way the childs fault. So, if your husband wants to bring this child home and you feel resentment, the resentment should be taken out on the husband not the child.

Answer 7

The child is innocent.....your husband's actions brought him/her into this world and they deserve to be cherished and loved as much as any other child. You are the closest thing that child will have to a mother, so be that person. While it will be hard at first, remember that you won't be compared to his/her mother because they will know nothing but you. Don't take the anger of your husband's indiscretions out on an innocent child.

Answer 8

Your question is a delicate one. However, I like kids. And I would welcome the chance to raise any number of them. But that's me.
You seem to be certain that this is going to happen. So you really need to remember the golden rule where the child is concerned. If the husband insists that the child is his, then you must demand an addoption to protect you and the child, emotinally. Because you will bond if you show the child love. And the husband's proven infadellity may cause future marital problems and, voila. Dig?

Answer 9

Treat the child with love and kindness, after all the child had no input as to who his parents are. Sounds like you have a good man for your husband.

Answer 10

You should not blame the child because of things he/she had no control over. You can make a Big difference in that childs life. You may be the only Mother that child ever knows. If he/she is very young the Biological Mother in time will only be a memory if even that. This child may be the one that takes care of you in your Elderly years..