Does anyone else suffer from Weeing shyness?

Question

I am male and when I am at a urinal on my own I will just wee straight away but if someone else is in there or comes in as I am about to start, it just won't come out!!!

It can be quite embarrassing as they will stand next to me, wee and then leave and I am still standing there and haven't even started.

Does anyone else suffer from this strange affliction?

Answer 1

it is a fear you can overcome mate ! You appear to be worried by the presence of the other guy and you get embarrassed by the amount of time you spend in their if as you say, you cant "do it".
To help you, try to acknowledge the guy who comes in , a simple, "hi mate", or "hello" may do the trick as it may help stop the fear.
The most simple solution is to use the cubicle, but why not conquer your fear instead.
It is most likely that some guys do have this fear, so you are probably not alone each time it happens.
Good luck mate, i hope you conquer this as opposed to hiding yourself away.
Chef

Answer 2

It's a lot more common than you might think. And (because I also suffer from this and am therefore aware of it) I think it's getting more common.

AP is a malfunction of the autonomic nervous system (that's the bit over which you have no conscious control - like your pupils contracting under bright lights, or your gut shutting down when you're under threat). It usually occurs when something bad occurs when you're going to the lav - the result is that you end up associating going to the lav with a bad experience. Bad experiences invoke the fight or flight mechanism FOFM(autonomic) and that stops you peeing - your body prepares for a fight and having a pee is not something you are designed to be doing when having a fight.

You have to desensitise yourself through exposure / aversion therapy - until you can pee on stage at the Albert Hall on the last night of the proms - then you're cured.

This is not about size - although bullying and rude remarks, will trigger the FOFM. Its about perceive threat.

There may well be a support group in your area.

For me - I just go in the cubicle and pee loudly, and anyone who has sneer or a leer when I come out I challenge them - cheeky fuckers.

Answer 3

Yup, it's the worst thing. I can go to the cricket and drink beer all afternoon and then you just have to go... but I get down to the men's lavs, there are about twenty guys lined up at the urinal and about twenty waiting, me included... I dread it.. I get to the trough and ... nope... nothing. Not a drop. I look up, down, left right, shut my eyes. Nothing happens and I am busting to go.

It's not shy thing. Been with my partner for over 20 years... and can't pee in front of her. I could stand in the men's lavs buck naked and wave it around without getting embarrased, but I just can't pee when I have the sense that someone could be watching!

I absolutely hate it.

If you know how to solve this, let me know.

Answer 4

First of all may I thank you for ( if you will excuse the pun, )bringing this problem out into the open.I thought I was the only one to suffer.I put it down to the fact that I was accidentally hit down below when I was younger, which resulted in me having severe inflammation of the bladder.Has this happened to you at all? I also find it very embarrassing.I usually try to go to the urinal when no one is around, or use a toilet which I can lock.
I do sympathise with you and wonder if perhaps our problem is psychological.It would be interesting to find out.

Answer 5

Many do, but it's all in your mind. You could overcome it, but you'd have to work at it. As I understand it, some men press the flush a little - I guess in the belief that the sound of running water has a psychological effect and causes urination. Give it a try, it may work.

Answer 6

thats quite a problem you have there, probably down to lack of confidence on your little man or paranoia. Im sure its common.
It doesnt happen to me but i can understnad what your talking about and prob suffered a little myself when in young teens.
.
If your a little worried about others seeing your man downstairs while your peeing your getting nervous and that stops you peeing.

its easy to say this but stop worrying, yes people will see inadvertidly or not, but no one judges anything (i hope).

Feel free when peeing, dont think of anything and block anyone else out stand at the urinal and just pis-s.

everyone pees, all men have to, in lack of another way to put it, get it out and piss. Try not to get caught up in thoughts of anything to do with being watched or judged

Hope you are able to get out of this tricky problem

Answer 7

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Answer 8

great question. i was fine up until about a year ago when i suddenly got self conscious about it. dunno why. but like theyve mentioned above me, i wait til im ready to burst, which isnt the best thing to do for ur bladder...or i use a stall...or just stand n wait n ignore those around me unless i stand for 5mins and nothings happened. its all about relaxing and not thinkin bout it so much. maybe spelling out words will help haha. i'll try that too

Answer 9

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Answer 10

yes Ive got it and its a nightmare, if I'm in a pub or at a social gathering i get quite anxious about it and when i feel i need to pee i tend to watch the toilet door and see if anybody has went in and if the coast i clear i usually dart in and do my pee ( sounds sad i know) i usually wait until im bursting or if i walk in and somebodys peeing i usually wash my hands or something, your not alone mate this prob is very common