I really love my husband and I would never ever want to be without him but I can't stop thinking about things that I did when we weren't together.
Lets just say I've had a colourful past and at the time it was fun, but now what I have with my husband and I couldn't ask for more, so why do I keep fantazising about my past experiences and keep having dreams that get me 'excited'?
I feel awful about it but I can't help it, I think it's just the excitment I miss. What should I do???
I would never act on any of these thoughts but is there anything I can do to cool it?
2007-03-08 02:24:36 · 12 answers · asked by joanna b 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Be honest with your husband and say exactly what you just did. Fantasy role play with him involved, so he is part of your "new" excitement.
Communication is sexy. Explain to him very gently that the reason you are sharing is so that you can be closer to him...
2007-03-08 02:28:17 · answer #1 · answered by NiceT 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There just fantasies dear, and I don't think its a bad thing that they turn you on. Are you feeling guilt over this because its not your husband that's turning you on? As long as you don't act on any of the feelings I wouldn't worry or be that concerned about it. But if it bothers you, then talk to your husband about it and see where it leads. Good luck.
2007-03-08 10:31:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regarding fantasy, Helen Fisher ("The First Sex," Ballantine Books, Feb. 2000) says that 71 percent of men and 72 percent of women fantasize while having sex with a partner. Men fantasize about conquest and domination, women about submission and surrender.
Dr. Joyce Brothers says, "It might relieve some of your guilt to know that many happily married individuals who have no thought or intention of ever betraying their spouse have sexual fantasies about someone other than their spouse."
2007-03-08 11:51:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is perfectly normal and as long as you keep your fantasies just that, everything will be fine. Nothing wrong with thinking about others or even masturbating about them. After all, when you got married you did not stop being human.
2007-03-08 10:29:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is perfectly normal to fantasise about people who are not our partners, in the same way we fantasise about scenarios we wouldn't actually act out, for instance. But if it is making you feel guilty or uncomfortable i would suggest gradually slipping your husband into your fantasies and dwindling the other people out of them.
2007-03-08 10:29:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sound like you need to role play with your hubby so you can use those past experiences to your advantage. just do not tell your hubby. role play is very common with most couple so have fun be someone different and make your love life stronger. Good Luck.
2007-03-08 10:31:02 · answer #6 · answered by celticdragon 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's natural. Almost everyone has these thoughts. Some act, some don't. If you do act don't hurt the other person by doing so. Be secretive.
2007-03-08 10:30:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show your husband some of these exciting things that you are fantasizing about and see if he will enjoy them too.
Good Luck.
2007-03-12 10:32:43 · answer #8 · answered by bigred 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should start some role playing with your husband to spice things up!
2007-03-08 10:28:56 · answer #9 · answered by Katie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put that "excitement" toward you Husband.
2007-03-08 10:32:16 · answer #10 · answered by Goodfellar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋