My ex-husband and I have been divorced for almost 12years and each have new relationships. Despite that fact, we always call or send each other a card on birthdays and mother/father's day. Recently, my ex-had a birthday and I sent him a card in the mail. His new wife freaked out on him. I am not sure why because she has know about this for the 4 years they have been together. Apparently she told him that now that they are married (for a little over a year) that we shouldn't do this anymore. My ex and I have maintained a good relationship for our children and neither of us see anything wrong with what we are doing and neither does my "new" husband. Are we wrong?
2007-03-08 02:24:20 · 12 answers · asked by itsjustme 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, just the opposite, your ex and you and acting like very mature adults. Your ex-husband has a very insecure and untrusting new wife and she needs to get help because usually jealousy, insecurity and distrust grow if left unchecked. They should try couples counseling or therapy for her. Good luck and God Bless.
2007-03-08 02:32:22 · answer #1 · answered by tersey562 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maintaining a good relationship after divorce is both rare and commendable. It is so important for the kids. In time, I hope she can build a good relationship with you since both of you will be a huge part in raising your children.
You are not wrong. To soften the blow, maybe you could include her when it would mean the most. I send my ex's girlfriend a Mother's day card from my kids and a separate one from me. I appreciate the fact that she shares in the responsibility of raising my kids with my ex. Maybe you could try this. Know her birthday and send her a card from the kids and from you. As a Step-mom, gifts and cards from my step-kids, when bought by their Mom's mean so much to me.
As long as the card to your ex isn't a mushy card signed "Love" I see no problem with this practice. She may see it as a sign of "regret" instead of "respect". Showing her the same "respect" will let her know you are no longer a "threat". I will bet anything, her "freaking out" is coming from her own insecurities. Maybe you could start out by picking out a card that tells her how much you appreciate her taking on one of the toughest jobs in the world. Step parenting is so difficult, let her know that she does matter. You will gain her trust and maybe even a friendship. Good Luck.
2007-03-08 02:40:38 · answer #2 · answered by RaLoh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm glad that you are friends. He has a new wife and needs to respect her wishes unless he wants another ex. He is married to her and her feelings should be his priority. I have to wonder what kind of guy he is if he cant see that this is bothering her and do something to change it. He should be able to just stop receiving and sending cards with you. You should be able to do the same. Respect his new wifes wishes.
2007-03-08 02:33:12 · answer #3 · answered by momof2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send the card from you and the children (assuming they are still at home). If you do send a card be sure it is clearly platonic however I would suggest you respect her wishes. If the kids are no longer with you move on with your life and allow them to do the same.
2007-03-08 02:32:26 · answer #4 · answered by dano 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think so... Especially with the fact that the two of you have children between you. It shows your children that you can be adults about things even when situations go bad. I say you go girl. I co-mend you and him both for remaining friends. That is something most ex's can not do when they have children.
2007-03-08 02:36:28 · answer #5 · answered by In love with Life 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG well number one i think that is amazing i'm a mother and I'm married now but have a child from another relationship..and he is a dead beat..he doesn't even talk to my son let alone me..You should be very proud of yourselves the is something that doesn't happen very often..I would tell her to kiss my *** cause seriously that is just amazing and I bet your son is happier then ever and bottom line..that is that most important thing...
Kudos to you hun...YOU ARE NOT WRONG AND DON'T EVER THINK YOU ARE!!!!!!
2007-03-08 02:34:10 · answer #6 · answered by takenangel28 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish all divorced people acted they way you guys do. I think it is good for your children and you should continue to do it. She will have to get over it.
2007-03-08 02:30:34 · answer #7 · answered by chrisisdifferent 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no it's not a big deal she just feels threatened though she shouldn't maybe just send the fathers day card thats your right
2007-03-08 02:30:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all. I think it's nice you continue to be friendly. His new wife obviously has some major issues and she sounds rather immature.
2007-03-08 02:30:03 · answer #9 · answered by KathyS 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be kind,tell ex that you aren't going to do it any more.It's not wrong,but it's wrong to make the new wife mad.Just cool it for now.
2007-03-08 02:55:25 · answer #10 · answered by Goodfellar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋