What is the correct usage of 'whom'?

Question

It's a common mistake, using 'who' instead of 'whom' and vice versa. I'd like to know the difference.

Answer 1

Very simple rules of thumb are nice, and some insist on them, but real spoken language may refuse to follow them!

Originally it was a simple matter of "use 'who' when the word is the subject of the sentence (or clause), 'whom' when the word is an object".

But that's not quite the case [pun intended] anymore. In REAL spoken English the basic rule is more like this: "Use 'who', EXCEPT right after a preposition ("for whom...?" but "who is it for?")"


A little explanation:

Notice that according to the original rule you SHOULD say both "Whom is this for?" But who would say that?! On the other hand, people often DO follow the rule when they say "To whom should I address the letter?"

The problem is that Modern English, unlike Old English and many other languages (including Latin) makes VERY little use of case endings to distinguish the role a noun or pronoun plays in a sentence (word order is far more critical). The only instance where we change the form according to case is several of the personal pronouns ("I/he/she/we/they" for subject, "me/him/her/us/them" for object). As for relative pronouns, "which" uses the same form for subject or object. That leaves "who-m" as the ONE that stands somewhere in the middle. Hence the confusion.

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So, how do we decide when to use "who" and "whom"?

Again. I do NOT agree on the simple "substitution" rule. It is useful for distinguishing "you and I" (subject) from "you and me" (object), and it may be "formally" correct for who/whom, but thanks to the minimizing of case forms in English, scarcely anyone actually SPEAKS that way (and if they do, they get odd looks!) In fact, I sincerely doubt that those who have given you this sort of answer even try to follow it consistently.

Incidentally, note here that I'm focusing mainly on IN-formal use, that is, everyday speech. And we must remember that when informal differs from formal that does NOT mean the informal use is "wrong"! (Nor is it "uneducated" or "slang".) It's simply different! (And, as I noted above, it is based on a basic feature of English, viz., the importance of word order.)

So here's my advice, based on normal English WORD ORDER. For normal, informal use, that is, outside of formal writing (where someone demands it of you!):

Feel free to use "who" in ALL instances --whether as subject or object-- EXCEPT when you the word falls IMMEDIATELY after a preposition (where by definition it cannot be the subject). In that instance use "whom". Thus we say "TO whoM it may concern", "WITH whoM are you speaking?", "FOR whoM the bell tolls". But when the preposition is moved we say things like "who are you speaking with?". Of course, most English speakers simply avoid the preceding preposition as much as possible, since it too sounds "stuffy".

Another argument. Notice that "Who was it (or 'that person') you were speaking with?" has exactly the same meaning as "Who(m) were you speaking with?", but is 'correct' by the grammarians' rule. Seems a bit odd, doesn't it? That's because formal "case" hardly enters, if at all. Also, since English depends much more on WORD ORDER than on grammatical case (since the latter barely exists in English!), and since the standard word order in English is Subject-Verb-Object, when we place a word in the "subject position" there is a natural tendency to give it the usual "subject FORM". In the same way, when a word falls in the OBJECT position we tend to give it the "object form". Thus, in ordinary English we say "It's ME" and NOT "It is I", despite what grammarians try to tell us about that one too!

Answer 2

I would say something like "With whom did you speak with?" or "Whom might I ask for?" Something along that line I guess...good luck!

Answer 3

'Who' is the subject of the sentence. 'Whom' is used for direct object and with prepositions...

"To whom are you giving that ball?"
"Who are you taking to the ball?"

It's one of the few holdouts as far as case goes in English grammar. Who is nominative case, whom is accusative, ablative, and dative.

Answer 4

who is used when you would use he or she or they whom is used when you would use him,her,or them

Answer 5

'Who' is used when that person is doing the action, 'whom' is used when that person is acted on.

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