We are a straight (male/female) couple and have been together for what's about to be a solid 13 years, living together for 7 years. We are both in our early 30's and when we do have sex it is ALWAYS very satisfying to both of us. We've had this disagreement over and over, one of us believes we should be having sex every night, the other feels 3-4 times a week is more than enough and very healthy. We were wondering what other couples, statistics, mental health professionals, and sex therapists think is normal and healthy for a couple from our demographic.
2007-03-08 02:14:30 · 32 answers · asked by joenbabi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
3-5 times a week +/- 1
Be sure to mix it up every now and then, to keep it interesting.
And congrats on being together for so long.
2007-03-08 02:32:27 · answer #1 · answered by redjetta 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IMO 3-4 times a week is awesome. If a person needs this every day there is likely an emotional issue needing to be filled (unsatisfying work situation usually). Some couples are content with 2 to 4 times a month.
Have and enjoy sex as much as possible I feel but don't let it be your only form of excitement that you 'need to have' or the relationship will fall apart.
Write a list of the ten things you like about yourselves and each other and plan a mini vacation or take a cooking class together. Something that will stir your excitements outside of bed.
2007-03-08 02:26:49 · answer #2 · answered by etherialwave 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you must understand that you "lived together" for 7 years playing house, so that was like a marriage without the marriage document. Then together another 6 years...so I would think that like any marriage, you are comfortable with each other, love each other but that rush of excitement of the beginning of a relationship is not there, but it has been replaced with a deeper love that comes when couples are married for quite a while. I would think twice a week would be right for a couple who have been together as long as you have. Sex every night is a bit of a stretch...come on be serious and realistic...
Why don't you both get away for a weekend of love, romance and sex. Make arrangements at a bed and breakfast, and just stay in bed, make love all weekend, with the champagne, candles and both of you will be totally enthralled with each other. I recommend this all the time. It helped my husband and myself in our own marriage, so it is from experience...You both don't need a sex therapist...you just need not to be obsessed with this time thing...it is not the amount of time you have sex, it is the quality....Good Luck
2007-03-08 02:26:30 · answer #3 · answered by cardgirl2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The average is whatever is comfortable with both of you. Let's face it, it is not the amount of times you get together for sex but the satisfaction you give each other. And don't forget there are many ways of having sex and it does not have to be the actual act of it. You can put your arms around her and thank you with a gentle kiss after she has cooked a delicious meal for you and then help her with the dishes afterwards. You can enjoy a bath together just exploring each others body without going any further or just laying in each others arms til you both fall asleep. So enjoy each other in whichever way you choose to have sex and in whatever amount of times it occurs. Good Luck and just count your blessings that you have someone that loves you as she does.
2007-03-08 02:26:38 · answer #4 · answered by mary r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I must say that both of you are blessed by an angel....If both of you are enjoying each time you have sex, then I think its ok to have it every day....
BUT....generally, when it becomes a daily routine exercise, the motivation, enjoyment and the intensity MIGHT reduce after some time.... But I suggest you enjoy while you can....
According to statistics the average is 4-5 times per week for western countries....
2007-03-08 02:41:01 · answer #5 · answered by banju 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Different strokes for different folks. My wife insists that 3-4 times per week is the magic number. I would prefer much more and with that in mind I suggest going with the highest number. Of course that is assuming that both are concentrating on satisfying the other. (my number would be 10 times per week. And by the way I am 20 years older than you. Use it or lose it.
2007-03-08 02:27:29 · answer #6 · answered by dano 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on what you guys want. One person likes quantity over quality, and the other is vice versa. There has to be a compromise somewhere. Maybe if it was more mind blowing both would be satisfied with 3-4 times per week.
2007-03-08 02:32:04 · answer #7 · answered by amyvnsn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no way of telling what is a right amount. Every couple needs are different. There are factors too. I have been married for 24 years sometimes we do it alot other times we just about say hello to each other. At least you are having sex weekly. I would only worry if you weren't doing it at all. Enjoy each time for the moment. There are worse things in life to fret about!!!
2007-03-08 02:59:36 · answer #8 · answered by jjeano661 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I have a healthy sex life and we avg 3-4 times per week, but what is "normal" for us may not be for others. Some may view 3-4 times a day normal or others may see 3-4 a month normal. You have to figure out what works for you.
2007-03-08 02:19:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Statistics say once a week. Be very happy if you are above the average. Every night?! That's you, right? Give her a break, man! And be happy that she's up for it 3-4 times a week.
Have fun you two, or should I say continue to have fun!!
2007-03-08 02:20:58 · answer #10 · answered by Dino 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two to Three times a week sounds good. It depends how the week is going. Maybe one of you has a cold or has too much work to do? So it all depends, good communication is the key! You both should try to find a happy medium. Becareful not to let work over take your relationship and try to be understanding of each others feelings.
Good Luck and Best Wishes!
2007-03-08 02:26:02 · answer #11 · answered by Red Angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋