How can I become more emotional?

Question

I'm an introvert. I've always had strong control over my passions and desires. It's no big deal, really. I don't mind showing it if I'm happy, i.e I'll crack a little smile, but most of the time I'm straightfaced. I'd say my emotions share a little room five doors down the hall from Logic and Reason, who I trust the most.

I also play piano, and my playing is disgustingly mechanical and emotionless. All my friends said, "Just let it out." Well, if I could do that, I wouldn't have a problem.

Emotions make me awkward and I'm not so good with them. Especially not in front of an audience.

I'm paradoxically inwardly-focused and really self-conscious. Probably because I'm 15.

It's not that I'm afraid of what people will think of my piano playing, but as much as I want to open up to be a better musician, I almost get angry at people for wanting me to show them my most private aspect as a performance.

That got off-topic.

Basically, is there a way I can become more open?

I don't know if I really portrayed myself fairly there.

I can be deeply moved emotionally and do feel things very deeply, but it's all locked away, and I need to unlock it.

Already got one, deadlastsmg.

I think you're just jealous. ;o

Answer 1

Expressing feelings is an ability everyone has, including you. Even you do it from time to time. The problem is, you're not very practiced at it, so it's not your way, not your usual behavior pattern to express your feelings. BUT you want to get better at it, so you'll do it more often. And you can.

But in your efforts, you want to hit the mark. You don't want to overdo it. You don't want to express emotion inappropriately, you don't want to make it your main thing.

First recognize that your logical, methodical keep-it-close-to-the chest manner is actually a natural part of yourself that you don't want to lose. You need to acknowledge it as a strength and continue to use it well.

But you can improve this other ability...to express feelings. Here are my recommendations.
- Start with the easy stuff. When you hear a joke, giggle. Experiment with expressing a little feeling in your piano playing. When you taste something great, give a little moan of pleasure. As you do these relatively easy expressions, focus on how good it feels to do so.
- Your first steps may be awkward and not seem natural. That's OK. Like playing tennis, you don't get to the pro level right away. Say to yourself, "That's OK, I'm just getting used to this." And keep trying.
- In conversation with a close friend, when you get to a topic you care about, tell the peson how you feel. Now I know you can do this without expressingt feeling, but try raising your inflection and loudness just a little bit. Gesture with your hands.
- Observe how others display emotion. Find someone who does it well in your opinion, and follow this person's example. Try some things.
- Don't risk major displays of emotion until you've had some practice with the easy stuff. You gotta learn to walk before you can run.
- Commit to the long haul. Accept that it may take over a year. Be prepared for mistakes. Just brush it off and keep trying.

The idea is, get into it. Think of it as a skill, which it is. A cognitive skill. Your goal is to establish a new skill level, a new pattern...over time. It will take a VERY long time to make this feel natural, but if you keep trying it will happen for you.

Answer 2

I would suggest that you start meditating regularly. There are many different kinds of meditation that will allow you to get in touch with your wholeness as a human being (obviously including your emotions). Below is a link to a site that has information about the practice I use that has helped me tremendously over the years...

Answer 3

Basically, showing emotions is to open yourself to being vulnerable. Keep in mind that to wall yourself in is also to wall stuff out. You'll miss out on a lot of good stuff by not having the courage to open up. You'll keep out the bad but block out the good in the process. You'll learn sooner or later that you cannot revolve your life around what others think or worse-yet, MIGHT think of you. Our worlds do expand or contract in direct proportion to the amount of courage we're willing to summon. P.S.-Be thankful that you're not arrogant and obnoxious. At least you have a chance to grow.

Answer 4

try going some place where no one knows you and just letting the emotions go...no one knows you and you don't know them...not so hard
you can also talk to God and ask for His help in this area...He is pretty cool and knows about all of this stuff.

be cool.......and smile...it's okay

Answer 5

Grow a vagina.