We have been together for almost six years. We have been married for three and a half years. We use to have great sex, but for the last to years something has totally change. He is having ED problems, and can not have sex longer than three minutes before he goes. I beg for sex and 97% of the time he turns me down. I will tell you this I am 28 years old 5'6'' 120lbs and very pretty. I have always kept my body looking good, even after two children. I have been so emotionaly and sexually deprived. I met a guy at my friends house and we talked for 4 hour and then kissed for a long time. I really wanted to have sex with this man, but I did not. I felt bad, so I told him what happened. He was upset and said he saw this coming. He was okay by the next day, and told me that we will not get divorced over a kiss. I connected with this other guy. My husband gives me nothing emotionally, and sexually rejects me. I really want to have one long night of passion with this other man
2007-03-08 02:00:33 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
no dont do it. if you have one night with him you'll want another. you married for better or worse, well now your going through some worse times, now isnt the time to bail out. just tell your husband something has got to change, tell him if he wont make an effort then the marriage is gonna have to end. cause its not fair for you to have to live like this for the rest of your life. i dont believe in cheating. but i dont believe in staying in a marriage where both partners arent trying.
2007-03-08 02:11:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you should do is discuss your frustration with your husband in a calm assertive manner. Suggest to him that he see a doctor to see if he is definitely diagnosed with ED. There are other medical problems that can cause ED, like diabetes and he may not know he has it. He must be checked out first. It could also be mental and emotionally. He could also be carrying on an affair with someone too. Something is definitely bothering him that he is not discussing with you. Once you get all these issues ironed out, I would suggest marriage counseling. You must try to save your marriage. Marriage is a partnership and as it says in the vows, for better for worse..............I can understand why you are upset and frustrated, but if you love your husband you must resolve the issues in your marriage first.
Now you meeting this other man...If I were you, I would not see this guy at this time and not have a sexual relationship with him as it will cloud your thinking and you may make decisions that are not good for you at this time. You are attracted to this guy because he is filling your emotional needs. But it is not the right time. You must resolve your problems at home. If you find out that your husband is carrying on an affair with another woman, then you should proceed with separation and divorce proceedings. If this guy really cares for you, he will wait for you to resolve your issues at home. If your issues at home are resolved and your husband is cooperative and is trying to resume your sex life and shows you love and affection, then I would stay married and forget this guy.
2007-03-08 10:16:13 · answer #2 · answered by cardgirl2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your man about the problems you're having with YOUR MAN. Don't go looking to someone else to solve those problems. The ED thing might be something that's wrong with your guy's health. Has he seen a doctor? I'm sure the whole thing is extremely frustrating and embarassing for him. If you're pressuring him, you are only making it worse. I think you two should seek counseling if you'd really like to solve the problems with him, otherwise just give him a divorce so that you can go be with other people if that's what you really want.
2007-03-08 10:04:54 · answer #3 · answered by Vivita 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These are just some of the roadblocks thrown in front of a normally happy marriage. You can either give up and act badly or work like hell to figure it out. He must see a Doc to work it out. Dont resort to the easy way out by cheating. I feel bad for your husband. He probably doesnt know where to turn with this. He is probably so torn up inside form not only his issue but your near infidelity that he cant even see straight. Imagine if there was a medical solution and everything could be back the way it was. Its worth a shot. (So to speak!)
2007-03-08 10:13:48 · answer #4 · answered by Devdude 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is tough on both you and your husband. He needs to go see a doctor to find out what's going on exactly.
It might be a medical situation or, he could be under a great deal of stress.
Try not to be so hard on yourself and on your hubby. Talk to him about seeking help and see where this leads you both.
There's got to be a medical or psychological reason behind this and given time, with medication, counselling or both, this hopefully will be resolved.
In the meantime, why not just cuddle up to hubby and use a vibrator? I mean, it's better than seeking passion outside your marriage, right?
2007-03-08 10:12:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are both unhappy, why not divorce? I dont think you should cheat on him, but I do think you should explore all your options, weigh the goods and bads, and see what is the best decision for both of you. I don't think you really love him if you would consider leaving him in his time of need. Can you imagine how he must feel that he can't please you? He needs someone to stand by his side not run out on him when he needs you the most. My suggestion is get a toy, he can please you with that. try everything you can. it can still be passionate with a toy as long as you have the touch of a man with you. Don't give up on him. Try talking to him about all of your options. but you did agree to FOR BETTER OR WORSE... just think about that.
2007-03-08 10:07:35 · answer #6 · answered by precious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you love your husband and is it worth ruining a family just for one night of passion? They have over the counter "viagra" if you want to try that.
On another note, what is happening in your husbands lifestyle to cause this change? Stress, boredom? I would suggest talking to a counselor. I was pretty much in the same situation as you except for the other man. My husband seen how it affected me and was worried I wanted out of the relationship. It sort of snapped him back to reality so to speak. He is more considerate of my feelings now. You might want to try a counselor.
2007-03-08 10:09:38 · answer #7 · answered by CROSS-EYED PENGUIN 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me I feel your pain but, as a woman maybe you should try to introduce your husband to some other things that can pleasure you both and you won't have to step out. Sit down and get creative girl.
2007-03-08 10:07:31 · answer #8 · answered by cwallflower32 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't you dare do that if you want to leave then go but don't do something against your nature (you sound like a nice person) just go to the doc and tell him whats up. they make meds for that and also go get a toy, hell get 6. make a change for the better. and it will get better
2007-03-08 10:10:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like tha man is spending to much time watching internet porn...maybe ya'll need to get together and have a 3some...you may be hot but after awhile "from a mans point of view" same ol same jus gets old....maybe do some role playing with him something to change to mood of the sexual encounter..make it different...spice it up..if that doesnt work...you may have to cut ties with him
2007-03-08 10:06:56 · answer #10 · answered by Rich D 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋