OK here is the deal...My husband recently got hired to a new job which is excellent for us...he also decided to stay on with his old job a caouple nights a week. I also got a second job but it's only four hours a night and his hours are 2:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. So I don't see him that much, it's kind of temporary just for another couple of weeks...For the past two night I have been in the mood...I am very sympathetic to his long hours but he says hes to tired and I work long hours too 6am to 10pm and I don't understand why he can't take little bit of time to "spend" with me...We are newlyweds...If you think I am being stupid tell me don't be rude but I just feel sad and lonely...so my question is how do I shake this feeling? Has this every happened to you? I don't like feeling this way and it honestly hurts! Thank you in advance!!!
2007-03-08 01:18:20 · 23 answers · asked by ashley32754 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
WOW...not one person has said something that I didn't like or that was helpful...That is very rare on this site some people can just be jerks...SO thank you!!!! Just a little more info Yes he is a great man...He was single for so lone that I think sometimes he puts his needs beofre mine and I alwasy try to do the oppiset...I had never had sex before I got married to hime so Sex is huge for me...It's not just cause it feels good it's a way for me to show him something That I won't/can't for anyone else!!!! I kow it will be over shortly I just want him to understand where I am coming form
2007-03-08 01:34:39 · update #1
Ihave been in your situation.....some what. My advice to you first is go out and by a "toy" and enjoy yourself. As for your husband.....he is doing what he needs to do and you as well and it is only for a couple more weeks.....just relax and hang in there. It will be over before you know. I know you may feel sad and lonely.....but imagine what it will be likeonce its all over. Try to put that out of your mind. Maybe plan something really special for the two of you once the work schedules goes back to normal.....that would be fun and will help with the time. I dont think you are stupid for feeling that way, absolutely normal.....When ever you guys gets a chance ask talk to him about it.......or you could leave him a note if you barely see each other. Just remember that he is tired b/c of working long hours, not b/c he is not interested in you, OK!! He loves you.......He did marry you........!! Good Luck!!
2007-03-08 01:28:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like some of the stress will dissappear when the other job goes away. Will this issue still exist? If not you guys need to rethink some career choices. Long term a relationship cant survive when there is a lack of intimacy. I am not sure even "BOB" can help a newlywed overcome this situation. You need the real think from your husband to help build a strong loving foundation in the relationship.
2007-03-08 09:27:25 · answer #2 · answered by Devdude 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say, If ever you two get a day off at the same time , Kidnap your husband go to a nice place away from home. A different setting is some times what you need to help you realise how much you miss each other. It would be like a reminder of when you first met, and More than likely remind the two of you why you wanted to be together.
2007-03-08 09:35:33 · answer #3 · answered by Mercy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We often get caught up in the rigors of daily living and sometimes it takes quite a toll on our relationships. If this was a long term or permanent situation I would say that drastic steps (like counseling, or a good heart to heart talk) was in order. If its only temporary, I say hang in there a little bit longer. The monetary(and other) rewards will be worth it. Its even harder for newly weds, but hang in there. You can take care of your other needs until the time "full satisfaction" is available. Remember, you've got your whole lives together to look forward to. Don't let a temporary "urge" mess it up. Best to you.
2007-03-08 09:33:47 · answer #4 · answered by sarge 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, this sounds familiar. I've had your feelings and I've been in your husbands shoes. ... advice to give ... advice to give. First, he really does still love you. That has not changed. He still loves you as passionately as before, but he's waaaay to tired to even think of expending anymore energy. Sex is important because it draws you two closer together. He misses it too, but he's just to tired to go there.
I know your feelings too. You feel rejected. You don't feel like you are asking for much.
And I have an idea for you both. Ask him to watch you. You will enjoy him watching and he will most likely enjoy it so much that he will want to get involved. If he doesn't get involved, he will not be able to avoid enjoying you, enjoying yourself. Two things happen here, you relieve the built up stress, and you do it with him there to enjoy it with you. You two are at least there in the moment together.
When you do this, let him know that you are going to take care of yourself and that all he's required to do is watch. Don't be disappointed if that's all he does. Do remember that this is only for a couple of more weeks, but who knows it may add to your bag of tricks together.
2007-03-08 09:48:33 · answer #5 · answered by Dino 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way that you are feeling is very normal,but you should try and be a little more understanding.The hours that the two of you are working is stressful but it will pay off and be worth it.Honey..you are newlyweds give it time everything will work out there is a old saying"good thing's come to those that wait"and it is very true.Good Luck to you.
2007-03-08 09:25:20 · answer #6 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its great your missing him and you said it is only for a short time but you could try face to face talking over dinner be very
romantic or at night don't be afraid to reach over to and help him awake to a very nice time I have enjoyed that wake up
call .he and you should still want to take care of the home front even though your both working hard love and romance is
very important to keep the love .
If He still says no then yes as the other ladies said go for a toy and self pleasure invite him or not but don't make that your
passion . Good relations in the future .Have fun in love .
2007-03-08 12:25:12 · answer #7 · answered by Duck / Deer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all,i am very sorry for what you are going through.it sounds like he may be too tired,but i think he should make time for both of you also.i remember when i was a newlywed...we both worked long hours and rarely saw each other.when we did,we went out to dinner ,lunch and for sure made time for the bed.have you tried "catching" him during the day?the bed isnt only for nights! try catching him right out of the shower.this is when he should feel a little freshened up if its true that hes too tired.oh and another thing.......things change once youre married,thats the bad part of the whole thing.try a few things like i mentioned.if nothing works,then you should start to worry. good luck!
2007-03-08 09:32:24 · answer #8 · answered by fishin for answer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although you are newlyweds being tired is being tired. Just make the best of it for now. You already know its only for a few weeks so look to the positve that you have the rest of your life with this person. Dont be to hard on yourself for feeling the way you do its normal.
2007-03-08 09:28:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
At some time soon you two have to spend some quality time together. working long hours does tire you out. Is there anyway one of you could call off from your job and you two have a romantic evening together. I understand you need money, but money isn't everything. Work with him sounds like he's a good man and there hard to find. good luck
2007-03-08 09:25:37 · answer #10 · answered by shells 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋