Who do you think is right?

Question

My mother and I had a dispute about, in part, the way I wish to dress. I want to have a more gothic/metal look to me (and I manage to put together an outfit here and there but not much.) but she says I basically need to grow up because I'm a senior in high school and that it's not socially acceptable, that I will look like a weird freak. The problem is that that clothing style reflects my personality and interests, who I am basically. I feel like people can obviously see that I'm different despite the fact that I dress "normal", I act and think differently than others. I am intelligent and people can see that, but, like I said, they also can see that I'm a bit strange no matter how I look. I just want to enjoy myself because I had a difficult (and rather dark) high school career and never really got to enjoy myself. I want to look unique. I want to enjoy being myself without worrying so much about other's views. I am a Christian. And by the way, I'm a guy.

Termite, yes, I am willing to compromise, there is a time and a place for dressing the way I want to dress. I'm not talking anything extreme with my dress, I don't like to look too extreme, I feel uncomfortable. I could feel good wearing just all black dress clothes (pants, button-down shirt, tie) if I needed to do so for work or something like that. But when in a casual situation I would add a studded belt and a wallet chain to that outfit to make it work with the style I like. I do dress normal most of the time though, I can feel comfortable with that as well, I simply prefer a style more "unique."

Also I don't have a problem if she chooses not to buy said clothes for me, that's her decision, that's her right. I just don't like her narrow view on people who are different. I asked her what she would think if she saw someone who dresses like me in public. She said "FREAK... WEIRDO!" I don't even look that far out either...the way a dress is a recent development for me, I just started this this year, although I've wanted to since seventh grade, I never got around to it. She wishes I weren't so "strange and different", she almost hates it I bet. That doesn't make me feel too good. I can't change that. I hae mental illnesses and syndromes that, (on top of my "weird" personality,) make me more strange, which are things I can't control. The symptoms of one are in the past (for now) but the fact is that I have it and that's not going to change. I will tell you what they are if you ask. Just please be open-minded and don't harass me about them.

Answer 1

In casual situations, I vote that you dress as you please. There are ways to dress dark or goth without going too overboard too.

In professional situations it's better to dress professionally. But if you're continuing school you have several years yet before you need to worry about that.

So have fun, express yourself, and btw goth is actually social acceptable, depending on who you socialize with ;-) Enjoy!

Answer 2

We are unfortunately. judged by how we speak, how we walk, how we wear our hair and how we dress. The Gothic look is really not appropriate dress for a Senior in High School especially if you plan on going to College. There is one more item that has soured society in general with the Gothic look. It is, right or wrong, associated with the boys who killed all those students in Columbine High School. That is not to say, that everyone who has the Gothic look is a potential killer.The
association between Columbine and Gothic has been seared into the minds and hearts of many parents. I noticed in my area, that H.S. young men and women have given up the Gothic look for mainstream dress. There are other ways of presenting yourself as "unique". Give it some thought and Good Luck.

Answer 3

I think that both of you are right, in some ways.... Being "unique" and "being yourself" is a good thing..but your mom is also right in the fact that you are almost an adult and going to be entering the "professional world" and "your look" could create a problem...
I went through the same type of thing with my son. He, at one time, had a pink (actually supposed to be red, i think LOL) mohawk haircut and piercings in his ears, eyebrow, tongue, and lower lip and he insisted on wearing his pants down around his knees,or so it seemed..
Now, at almost 20, he found that in order to actually be taken seriously in the "working world", he had to change some of that... He now has only 1 small earring, a shaved and presentable haircut, and he now wears a belt, though his pants are still a bit low for me..LOL
But, my point is...unless you plan on being jobless for the rest of your life, or wait for a job that will accept your "uniqueness", then you are going to have to compromise a bit...
Now, what you wear when you are not job hunting or working..that is a different story...

Answer 4

You have the right the dress how you want, within reason. If you feel more comfortable like that and can handle a few stares, then do what makes you feel happy.

Answer 5

I dress the way I like. Of course I am now 29. Just do what you like. Being oppressed will just make you more miserable. Live free.

Answer 6

dude.... its not socially acceptable? wtf?

true we are supposed to "honour our father and our mother", but, you need to dress how you feel you want to. if you have no personal conviction against it, then dont worry about it.

dress how you want.

Answer 7

I dont know you so take this as constuctive plz. you are out of high school time to grow up!! none of us want to but unfortunately we have to.

Answer 8

You Win ,though it is your Mother who is right.

Answer 9

Do what you think God would want you to do.