About 5 months ago my husband transmitted genital warts to me. We couldn't have sex for about 2 or 3 months because we were both getting treatment. We are fine now and are able to have sex again. We never have sex. We stopped having it months before we got married and only had it a few times during our honeymoon. We have been back from the honeymoon about 2 weeks now and we still have not had sex. I asked him about it as to why and he says that he just isn't in the mood. To tell you the truth, I haven't been all that much in the mood either, but I have been more than him. He says that the way he thinks about sex is different now, but he can not even explain it to me. I feel like maybe I did something or that he is not attracted to me anymore. I am not sure what to think or do?
2007-03-08 01:11:48 · 26 answers · asked by lc 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you've only been married for two weeks and already the indifference toward sex, perhaps there is a bigger problem.
2007-03-08 01:16:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Maybe he can't get over the guilt of looking at you and knowing the damage he caused you. I personally don't know that I could get over the fact that someone gave me an STD, or that I gave someone an STD. If you have truly forgiven him then tell him that and help him understand that you don't blame him and you forgive him. Maybe sex with him is never going to be frequent. You knew that he was this way and you married him anyway. I guess the question is,"Did you marry him because you love him for all of who he is and can become, or did you marry him for a roll in the hay?" It seems that ppl can get a roll in the hay without marriage these days, so if that was your reason maybe you shouldn't have gotten married. If you love him, then you know from the beginning that there won't be an abundance of sex in your marriage.
Nurture your love in other ways. Learn and grow together and become each others best freinds and when there is sex it will be truly spectacular.
GL
2007-03-08 01:33:19 · answer #2 · answered by TotallylovesTodd! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The treatment for the warts probably gave him the notion that sex is now clinical because you've been going through treatments. He's also probably slightly embrassed that he gave them to you.
I would suggest pulling out the big guns (literally and figuratively).
Buy some really sexy lingerie and try to seduce him the good 'ole fashion way. He probably needs to be reminded that sex is about passion and intimacy, not about worrying about the possibility of other STDs. Light candles, put on your heels and make him understand that you don't h old him responsible and that you just want to, well, make him happy :) Just make it all about sex and the two of you, and nothing else.
If that doesn't work, then he may need counseling to get over it. And that's also something he shouldn't be afraid of, either. Many couples need couseling to get over little things. It happens to the best of us.
2007-03-08 01:17:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
stop attempting to fulfill your sister. the marriage is between you and your fiance. all of us else is in simple terms there to savor you and be happy for you. She is jealous and you could in simple terms forget approximately approximately her. you at the instant are not the undesirable guy. She is being a extensive whiny toddler and all and sundry knows which you never provide into each whim a toddler needs. do no longer enable her get interior the way of your happiness. You already compromised together with her by skill of making it interior a similar united states of america. particularly some women can get nasty and jealous once you're getting married. you could shop those ones at a distance because of the fact no remember what, they're going to harm your emotions. I had an aunt who asked me for every person of my wedding ceremony info then criticized every person of my judgements. If something, you might have yet another ceremony in Greece along with your husband's kin later on. i be attentive to of two couples who did that. i'm guessing that your wedding ceremony is doing away with from the attention she feels she could be getting for her being pregnant. in simple terms provide her quite some interest over it in case you pick her to close up. So lower back, shop her at a distance. do no longer proportion any of your wedding ceremony info. forget approximately approximately her comments. If she would not take place then stable riddance. meaning no being disillusioned and no headache.
2016-11-23 15:07:25 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consider seeing a sex therapist. I'm willing to bet that some people are going to reply, "he's getting it somewhere else." But I wouldn't worry just yet. Discovering he has genital warts and passed it on to you is a reasonable excuse to be turned off by sex for awhile. It probably changed his self image (lowered it?) and I don't think that having to get the treatment helped either. Hopefully he'll be willing to speak with someone. Good luck!
2007-03-08 01:17:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't take this one ... it's not you. You two need to get into a good marriage and family therapist. Sex is necessary because it should draw couples into deeper intimacy. Don't just let this go, don't nag, but get to a counselor now.
Another question I have is how old is your husband? If he's young, it seems unlikely that he would lose interest, though it happens. Any past abuse in his closet? He may want to see the therapist you two choose individually as well.
As a side question, from whom did he contract his STD? Do you know if she is completely out of the picture? I apologize for asking, but these are questions you as a wife may need to consider and have a right to know the answers.
Good luck and get him into counseling with you ASAP. This is not normal for newlyweds.
2007-03-08 01:31:33 · answer #6 · answered by Dino 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess he is too scared to have sex now and doesnt think of sex as enjoyable anymore. Maybe the whole genital warts thing scared the daylights out of him. He might be thinking that it could be a worse STD next time. Oh he CAN explain it to you he just doesnt want to. You need to ask him agian. Thats not normal for a man to NOT want sex.
2007-03-08 01:15:55 · answer #7 · answered by . 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No -- it's not you. Try to get him to have a check up with his doctor ---perhaps he's suffering from a touch of depression from being diagnosed with genital warts (assuming it was a recent diagnosis for him) and the doctor could put him on something to "perk" him up. You should be still in your "honeymoon" phase.
2007-03-08 01:30:22 · answer #8 · answered by GrnEyedBlondeSwede 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's cheating on you - big time.
The fact that he gave you the warts to begin with is proof of that. He probably gave you some line that you believed the first time and now that you're both supposedly "cured", he doesn't want to have sex with you and give it to you again because it makes his original excuse that much more flimsy. Drop him like a hot potato - unless of course you want more sexual diseases....
2007-03-08 01:41:44 · answer #9 · answered by chicchick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he picked something else up from another girl and he is scared to have sex with you do to infecting you again. Wow, were you dating when he got warts, or did he have them prior to you dating? If you are only sleeping with him then he would be the only one to blame if you got something else, I would run the other way, FAST! You are lucky you only picked up warts, it could have been something much worse like AIDS. You can never be to careful, good luck!
2007-03-08 01:17:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
My first inclination would be to dump him for giving me genital warts. However, if you love him and want to make the most of your marriage, you should both see a marriage counselor.
2007-03-08 01:16:11 · answer #11 · answered by brenbon1 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋