My son is now 41 years old. His two kids are l7 and 19. Recently the 19 year old girl moved out because he was abusing her mentally. She moved in with her mother. I didn't blame her, I would have done the same thing. It started me thinking if my grandchild who is only 19 years old can move out, then why can't the abusive father, so I'm planning on telling him to go. Someone told me that since he's been living in my house so long, that he might have squatters rights. Is this true? Do you think I'll have any trouble getting rid of him? What is the best thing to do? If any of you have had this problem, please let me know.
2007-03-08 00:42:28 · 10 answers · asked by shirlandjerry@yahoo.com 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you let him live with you what you should have done is told him to get a job and get his own place along time ago when he started having kids he should have been out on his own but you continued to allow him to live with you and his 19 year old daughter needed to move also she should have her own place if she is not in school or college because she will do like her father has all these years and developed the idea that she can live at home and raise kids there and not be responsible. This is your fault for allowing him to do this.
2007-03-08 01:35:29 · answer #1 · answered by Mary O 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
irregardless of what you should have, could have, of might have done for the kids or why you would let them stay as long as you did, I agree it is time to tell him and the remaining child is is time to go. You and your husband need to sit down with your son and give him and the grandson a dealine as to when they need to be out. If at that point he shows any resistance or makes any threats towards you, call a lawyer and have evicition papers drawn up and served. Any physical threats should be reported to the police. Do not waiver. Set a date reasonable enough that he can find a place to live, but not so long he can procrastinate or try to change your minds...30 days should be plenty. Good luck!
2007-03-08 08:57:05 · answer #2 · answered by Annie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am currently watching one of my friends filing for bankruptcy due to a similar situation. She will survive due to the fact that she does not own any property, and rents her residence.
I have another friend who has lost her home, as she was supporting her daughter and the daughters live in boyfriend and three grandchildren for so long, that she got behind on her bills and now she is back to living in a tiny "starter" apartment not many years away from retirement.
If I were you, I would contact a lawyer very quickly and find out all the laws and regulations in your area. Any parent who allows an adult child to reside with them is begging for trouble.
When I left home to attend college many years ago, I was expected to depend on my parents for emotional support and love, not for food, shelter or anything else I was obligated to provide for myself; as an adult and a contributing member of society.
My adult children are responsible for themselves, and their father and I love them; but they are adults; and therefore responsible for their own lives.
It is really sad, but I don't know why our society has raised a generation of grown babies, who are in their twenties and thirties and forties and fifties who will not (or try to convince people they cannot) take care of themselves.
Being a parent means that you raise your children to adulthood, and then they live on their own. End of story.
Please get yourself some legal help, you are going to need it.
Good luck.
2007-03-08 09:15:53 · answer #3 · answered by Sue F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your son has been a resident in your home for 30days then in order for you to legally get him out you will need to properly evict him.Check with your local court house and see what the policy is there.You need to kick your son at age 41 out why is he living with you it sound's like you have enabled him to act like a child..Good luck
2007-03-08 09:04:55 · answer #4 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He doesn’t have squatter’s rights.
I know lots of people will tell you to just change the locks, but, *legally*, you would probably have to actually evict him (assuming he refuses to leave when you ask him to) because you’ve allowed him to establish residency there.
2007-03-08 08:53:46 · answer #5 · answered by kp 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow a grown man living with his children in your house for 12 years.. amazing, but anyways.. the 17 year old will be 18 soon and quite capable of taking care of themselves here shortly.. so its time for everyone to clear the nest.. i imagine the only reason u enabled ur son to act like a child more so then a man that had to stand on his two feet were because of your grandchildren..
Anyways.. look, squatters rights hardly exsist anymore if they did everyone would go pick out some land and take it over to get a "free ride" so to speak, but he does have rights of a tenant.. its your home.. and just as if he was a common person renting from u, u have to issue him with a 30 day eviction notice..because its his place of residency even though u own it.. Once u serve him with a eviction notice after the 30 days are up if he hasnt moved, then u can have the police come and escort him out legally, but he has rights, and his rights are to have 30 day notice to find a new place to live..
Tuff love is hard to do at times, but at times its exactly what children need to get off their butts and start fending for themself, and doing what is right.. uve created a monster by enabling a grown man to act like a child, and not stand on his own two feet, u've allowed this man to be verbally abusive to your grandchildren, which is a "immature" behavior, and a grown man , "real" man, wouldnt be doing this.. he has no appreciation for anything because he's had everything handed to him for the last 12 years and id be willing to bet that he's put the brunt of raising the kids on u.. id be willing to bet, that it was you that has raised those children and not him, meaning, ur the one that did their laundry, cooked, cleaned, chauffered , helped with school, made sure they had everything they needed, and he came home and was more of a fixture in the household that liked to use his power as father, the ego of it all, the control of it all, to make his presence known, which is true because u already admitted, that he is verbally abusive.. and thats something that men that are little boys in mens bodies, do they pick on those weaker then themselves to make their own egos feel better.. they feed off the misery.. sorry hard to hear about ur own son, but its true.. and unfortunately although u thought u were doing what was best by letting them stay for as long as u did, u basically enabled it to happen rather then stopping it from happening.. so u urself are partially to blame for your grandaughter leaving the way she did, and feeling the way she felt , she had no protection in your house from it..so she ran to her mom's as soon as she could.. But its not to late, u have time to rectify the situation atleast to some degree, and that means making ur son go and get his own place and learn what it means to stand on your own two feet.. and this is something he hasnt had to do for quite some time.. i suggest u put ur emotions away for a bit and treat him as u would any other human being, and make this about business and not about family or emotions.. if u dont, ur son will end up crashing into a brick wall so to speak when something happens to u , and he has to suddenly grow up with out any choice.. time to cut the apron strings.. u've done ur job.. its time for him to go be a man.. instead of a little boy trapped in a man's body that can only make it if his mom is there to pad his behind..
Your not doing him any favors but letting him stay, and ur not doing ur grandchildren any favors by letting him stay, all they've learned is how to cope with a abusive father, that is incapable of being a man, how are ur grandkids suppose to learn from him?????? so they know how to be as grown adults? all they've learned is how to depend on someone else to do ur dirty work for u.. and how to treat people like crap..
Its the hard truth to hear, but it is true.. now its ur turn to do something about it, or to keep enabling him to keep doing this to u, to himself and not being the rolemodel he should of been to his children..
2007-03-08 09:06:48 · answer #6 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your son lives with you because he can, that means YOU NEED TO KICK HIS WORTHLESS BUTT OUT NO MATTER HOW MUCH IT HURTS YOU,
he is enabling you to keep him there, oh poor him,,
write the dr phil show,, free tickets and let him kick him out of your house
2007-03-08 08:48:00 · answer #7 · answered by rich2481 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Give him 30 days notice to move. If he doesn't move, have him legally evicted.
2007-03-08 09:00:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
you should have thrown out the whole lot of them after one year unless they were paying the rent. its your home not theirs, and all of them are adults, ones that are taking advantage of your kindness and cheap rent.. its time to set them straight and the sooner the better.
2007-03-08 08:49:15 · answer #9 · answered by robert r 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your a dumb *** 4 letting dat happen kick his *** out
2007-03-08 08:46:29 · answer #10 · answered by yo daddy 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋