ok long story short. my husband and i split up after 3 yrs of marrige,[not the first time]. i was gone for 2 months ,and had an affair,now i know thats not right .but i told my hubby he wanted to know , we both had problems ,so anyway we are back together. while i was away he got on several dating services, and worte several women. HERES THE PROBLEM he told me that he wiped them all off thier pices and addys... i just found out he has kept the one that he was suppose to go out with in a folder marked yahoo stuff. what to do ...???
2007-03-08 00:39:54 · 27 answers · asked by sissy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ask him why. He may be afraid that you guys are not going to make it and he wants to be sure he will not be alone. He should get rid of anything that has to do with any of the people he dated an you should also so you can move forward with your relaationship. Or you need to decide if your relationship is worth fighting for.
2007-03-08 00:48:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you need to sit him down and confront him about this. Ask him if he's really ready to work on your marriage or if the fact that you had an affair is just too painful. You have to ask, can you trust each other. You know nothing is impossible but if you keep breaking up and getting back together, maybe you aren't meant to be. I wish I had thought like that a long time ago, it would have saved me a lot of heartache.
2007-03-08 08:47:56 · answer #2 · answered by Sharon M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont worry about it ,, sounds like your relationship has huge problems,, I would see if your medical or work covers cost of a councelor and both of you go, there are alot of issues here and I see you breaking up over it,,
seperation is a time to collect thoughts, just because you slept with someone doesnt make it wrong, after all you were seperated and trying to sort through your life,, He was doing the same thing,
you can always delete the folder and any pictures you find on the computer and keep your mouth shut about it, if that is easier,
2007-03-08 08:44:02 · answer #3 · answered by rich2481 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You never should have cheated and nothing will ever be the same again, so unless your willing to write this one off like he said he was doing for you, then I'd say go to church or some other form of counseling or the obvious choice just get a divorce!
I'm really sorry this is happening to you guys I'm sure its not what you guys wanted for your lives!!
Good luck & God Bless
2007-03-08 08:56:41 · answer #4 · answered by ☆♥•´`•.¸ ;-) •´`•.¸ ♥☆ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is what destroyed my daughters marriage.The girl called while my ex son in law was out of town and told her he didn't have a wife anymore and they were going to have a child together.So needless to say my daughter went out and cheated as he had done several times. now they are divorced because he could not be honest. You need to tell him honesty is what you want above all else because with out that you have no marriage.Ask him to remove it if he don't then i would.If that cause's a problem i would look at the marriage again.
2007-03-08 08:47:02 · answer #5 · answered by furby_lost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him about it.......I just wonder do you ever get pass all the games or how do you let go of someone you love and really want to be with...I cheated even though I love my hubby, I felt like he has for years lied and held things back from me, but swears he has not, but things did happen before we got married (cheating from him) that I've held against him for 8yrs and I guess I finally exploded, but the pain is still there because I still want to be with him.
2007-03-08 11:49:19 · answer #6 · answered by baps362436 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suck it up this is the bed the two of you made. He wants something to fall back on when you are gone again. You can't really blame him for trying to keep ahold of some security in this situation the best you can do is work real hard so he won't ever have to call her.
2007-03-08 09:56:22 · answer #7 · answered by Trisha 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really want to get back together, the two of you should have a little backyard ceremony and burn any and all evidence of the affairs.
You'll have to forgive each other, imo, or the marriage can't grow.
Good luck.
2007-03-08 08:44:29 · answer #8 · answered by Yowza! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take the high road. Assume he wiped out all the addresses and meant to wipe out this one. Erase it and let it go. Don't let it turn into drama between you. Expect the best from him. You need to be gentle with each other right now.
2007-03-08 11:29:51 · answer #9 · answered by Sweetserenity 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's probably keeping her in case the marriage fails again, but there's a chance he wants to have an affair because you did.
it's going to take a year or two for the marriage to settle down
are you both ready to put in some effort toward making it succeed?
or do you both need more time apart to try someone else?
2007-03-08 08:56:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋