How serious is to be wife playing a part in one's life @ 35years?

Question

I am bugged up with the no of strings attached to this thin and busy life. Especially when one's spouse is too busy , amibitious, shrewd, hyper-active. I have never had a break for the last 8-9 years of marriage, except when I she rids herself off for her projects. We never sit together and contemplate or talk anout life, romance or anything that is spiritual or more filling. We lalways talk of properties, achievements, other people, bills, money, and stressful family ties. Her argument is - I am not wasting time and I am achieving.

Answer 1

That is married life. It can't all be a bed of roses and romance. Do try and take a bit of time for yourself. Perhaps go on a weekend trip somewhere, even if it is by yourself, and count your blessings.

Answer 2

You don't say how long you've been married but there is a definite "honeymoon period". Once it's over life changes and you're no longer crazy for each other thinking about each other night and day. You become companions, lovers and life-mates. You save up things to tell each other about your lives rather than just being desperate to be with each other.

It would be interesting to see how many people who've been together more than 8 years spend their evenings discussing romance and spiritual things. Not many I bet. Most people come home from work, eat and watch TV. They talk about their kids, their jobs, the house, and what they want to do at the weekend.

If you want a break could you not go somewhere on your own? I really enjoy my own company or that of friends and usually once a year my husband takes our daughter to visit his parents in France and I have a city break with my friends and do some shopping and clubbing. Then in return I take her to my mums in Scotland and he has his friends round for pizza nights and computer gaming.

Answer 3

You need to sit her down knowing exactly what your going to say to her,and give her the ultimatum,the final word on how you want things to be in your lives together as a couple,and say to her that if things don't change for the better that you fear that the relationship may end because your not happy in a relationship that offers no time for each other.Tell her you love her but it doesn't mean you are happy living life this way.She then may realise what is missing for you both and see the seriousness of what your telling her.If this doesn't help then i would fear ,she`d rather her life be the way it is than try to think of your happiness as well.I would then then,(as much as it will hurt)consider moving out,just as a last resort,to see if this would change her mind,and ask you to come back and try to resolve your futures.If she still wont budge then maybe she isn't ever going to.Then its up to you to make up your own mind as weather you want to carry on living this way or not.
Although keep this in mind.She may 1 day when shes ready herself, decide shes achieved what she wanted to,and now wants to settle into the comfortable life that's probably intended by her now.You have to find these answers from her.
GOOD LUCK AND BE HAPPY.

Answer 4

wow, I've been married for 24 yrs and the first was most difficult. mine was children and family money so forth. Now he is a crane operator and travels all the time I hardly see him so when he does appear i try not to fight with him for the fact what little time we have i would rather it be good then a fight. good luck

Answer 5

When thinking men contemplate, they usually tend toward the philosophical. Generally women don't, and often tend toward the practical or material. Although often emotional, their way of thinking is simply not metaphysical.

Answer 6

Your marriage sounds a bit one sided.....If you aren't happy, jump on the divorce wagon,,,otherwise, try talking about it, or live with it!!!

Answer 7

married life

Answer 8

So she is now a machine not a wife, tell her that.