marriage and divorce question?

Question

What do you do when you are married and things turn out to be everything you were scared of... you are drained of all the love, dedication, MOTIVATION, you moved to be with them and now you feel like you arent the same person as you once been but you hate yourself now and dont know how to get back on your feet. You have no support line and alcohol seems to be the only thing that can numb you for a little while. You scared to go out in the real world and the only thing you find peace in is your own house "your security blanket". How can you start over and pick up the pieces of such a rough past when you cant even find the strength to take care of yourself anymore and frankly dont really care to. I feel like my world is at a stand still and everyone else around has been moving for the last year but I have accomplished nothing. How can you give yourself to someone else or really love them when you dont love yourself no more. I gave up on everything and dont know how to start my life again

my life, love, strength, motivation, all that I had to give was sucked out of me ...now I am drained and stuck in misery and tears

I am not a man wheelie...and if you were in my situation then you might beable to understand more

Answer 1

I am going through a divorce right now. It is hell, but once it is over I will at least be able to move on with my life and start over. There are complications and sacrifices that we will make and will make for many years because of our decision to divorce, but sometimes we have no choice. You will survive. You just have to focus on your future. You need to get out of the house and make friends. Get active. As long as you stay where you are, you will continue to get worse. You are in for some sadness ahead, but there is light and a new life waiting for you at the end of the tunnel.

Answer 2

There are some questions you have to answer for yourself first.
Do you truly love him?
Why did you move?

The very first thing you should do is dump all the liquor down the drain, because you can't think clearly with it in your system.

Then you should go talk to a counselor, because there are a lot of facts no one but you know about.

If your going to stay where you are take a week and get used to the city.

Find a part time job, or see what other wives are doing around you, tennis, shopping etc.

Hope this helps

Answer 3

You're suffering from depression (been there, done that). You need to find a psychiatrist who you can talk through these issues with, and probably medication to get you off the alcohol. (I know that sounds rough, but getting on the right medication WILL diminish your need to drink). Sooner or later, you will find the courage to break out of this, so why not sooner?

Think about your life when you're 60. If you look back on it, what would you like to say you accomplished? Make a list. These become your goals. Now, set out trying to start to accomplish these goals. If you find your relationship prevents you from doing this, then you must move on and break away from the relationship. A marriage is designed for the 2 of you to move ahead and assist each other in accomplishing your goals, not prevent them from happening. Once you know what YOU want out of life, you will know what to look for in others.

Answer 4

"A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step." In other words, the way you get moving is by starting to move. Pick one small thing you would like to improve and start working on that. With that success under your belt, start doing other things. One good place to start would be to resolve no longer to allow anyone to suck the life, love, strength, and dedication out of you. Once you close off the capability of having them sucked out, the reservoirs for those emotional resources will begin to re-fill. Start your life again one step at a time, one day at a time. When you wake up in the morning, ask yourself, "What is just one thing that I know I can accomplish today?" Put aside your negativity and force yourself to make one tiny goal for the day. Then do it. And remember: success, even small success, breeds success.

Answer 5

It sounds to me like you are very depressed and need counseling. You may also need antidepressants so go see a doctor. You can only get back to feeling better if you want to. Don't give up on yourself, find YOU again. Start small, try doing something you used to do before you felt like this and see how much better it makes you feel. But first you really should see a doctor about your depression, medication can help so much(take it from someone who has been there)

Answer 6

Don't give up on yourself!! That is the last thing you should ever do. You will get out of it. I am also divorced (3 years). It felt like my world was at an end but I decided to study and met someone wonderfull and now he is the love of my life. I can tell you one thing that there is someone out there for you. Please do not start to drink to forget your sorrows. It doesn't work, believe me.

You will feel hurt, anger and hate but as time goes on it will disappear and new feelings will start to grow inside of you.
It did with me. I am in a happy relationship now!! Just keep on believing and do not give up!!!

Good luck!!

I know you are going through a difficult time but it will get better MUCH BETTER...

Answer 7

I have been divorced twice, the first one was rough to handle mentally as you try to put into perspective what went wrong, the second was easier because you learned you can survive the divorce,,

you will survive, you need to make yourself happy, Life has ups and downs and curves and forks,, that is what makes it life,
you pick yourself up,, might have to do without, but personally,, I am so much happier than I was in a miserable marriage,,,

Answer 8

ok..
well one im sorry to hear that and 2.
misery loves company. you can get all of that back but you have to look at your life and find out what is making you miserable and then start over sounds easy right.
i have been there and i have learned many hard lessons and i have started over with my life and found some one who is everything i used to dream of.

you just have to remember if the person you with is miserable they will feel better about then selve by making other peoples lives miserable as well..

Answer 9

You need JESUS, HE is the only one who can give you strength. Just receive Him into your life and I guarantee things will work out. The devil is busy in our lives and he is clever. We can not defeat him on our own, therefore we need Jesus. Get a bible, read Romans chapter 10:8-10 and Philippians 4:13. Just know that life can and will be hard but we can do all things through Christ. With Jesus you can't go wrong......... God Bless You and give you His peace.

Answer 10

either move back to where you used to live or get a lover.
you need to shift your focus away from your husband, because it just isn't working out well.