Under what circumstances would you perform a tracheotomy on an unemployed wombat?

Answer 1

Only if all of the following apply:
1. If said wombat's unemployment is the result of company downsizing and/or sending jobs to Mexico;
2. If said wombat is choking on a substance not containing artificial preservatives and Red dye #24;
3. If said wombat suffers these complications during a full moon that falls on the third Monday of the month;
4. If said wombat suffers a trachial collapse as a result of doing the Macarena and the limbo simultaneously.

Answer 2

Gotta be careful here, medical malpractise suits are just not on. I'd give him a thourough once over. Since I know almost nothing about wombats, thats more just for fun then because it will do anything.

Then I'd check my calander, make sure I'm not double booked for say a brest reduction on a sow or Botox with Barney the Dinosaur.

When all is said and done then ... hold on a sec! You say unemployed!! Get out of my surgery! You no medical aid freeloader!!!

That was a close call! Now where is that Hippo for his four o clock enema?

Answer 3

If the wombat had helped me in performing a career move that led me to be one of the top executives in this country, I'd say there would be no choice but to do the tracheotomy and help him get unemployment insurance.

Answer 4

If said wombat had started to choke on a piece of food/easily swallowed toy.

Answer 5

Only if he had just swallowed my 1932 S Wheat Penny that says In Dog We Trust while watching Oprah reruns at 3 a.m. on a bank holiday.

Answer 6

My fee for such an operation on a wombat, employed or no, is $4,500.

Answer 7

Never. I'm not qualified....and how many wombats are employed? Have you been taking your dog's meds again?

Answer 8

only after it signed the consent form

Answer 9

When he/she lays on their back doing the kicking chicken... then it is time!

Answer 10

none, let it die if it's unemployed anyway.