i am told that i am asking too much for love and afeection and that i am being too clingy when it comes to intimacy and passion in my relationship. Am i in the wrong or does it mean i just have to suffer a life without it??? this is a really difficult question for me to ask but i feel i need to know if i am just too affectionate or i have made a bad decision????
2007-03-08 00:06:58 · 18 answers · asked by azznsall 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you feel the need to ask this question after only four months, then yes, you HAVE made a bad decision. No, it is NOT wrong to want, and EXPECT those things.
2007-03-08 00:10:40 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm thinking that you're a woman writing this. No, you're not wrong for wanting love, romance and passion, mostly everyone wants those things. You've only been married for 4 months, you and spousy are still getting used to some stuff. Marriage isn't all hearts and flowers, you know that. Maybe your spouse feels that now you have him so you can relax a bit. Meaning, you can do things on your own and so can he. A lot of younger people that I know (I'm mid-30's) get married and are super clingy to their spouse. Relax, this is the time to enjoy the relationship is secure. You don't have to spend every waking moment with your spouse. I would be in the nut house if my hubby and I spent all our extra time together. Marriage is about making certain moments special, not the whole life of the marriage. Those special moments can also be created by you, once a month, plan a romantic supper for him. Tell him you'd like flowers every now and then (grocery stores sell them pretty cheap) or you'll buy them for yourself. Don't doubt your feelings and think you made a mistake, at least not yet, give him time and try not to be so clingy. Step back and enjoy the knowledge you have a partner who loves you and loosen the reins. Give him some space and I think you will find the moments you share with him will be much better. Good luck.
2007-03-08 08:18:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it wrong after 1 year? How about 5 years? 20 years? These should not only be desired, but expected.
These things are some of what make marriage great and the glue to a good relationship.
Unfortunately, far too often, once the man (or woman sometimes) is bagged, the effort isn't put into those things.
A 50% US divorce rate is NOT because we're promiscuous, but because we're looking for something that we're not getting at home any longer.
2007-03-08 08:18:19 · answer #3 · answered by Tough Love 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how affectionate you are, hon. If you're talking about being together, 24-7, when you're not at work, and not letting him have any time with his friends, that's a little clingy.
If you're talking about sex being a novelty, you have to compete with the TV, or he's always out with his friends, you have a right to be upset.
Both of you need to set aside one day a week where it is just the two of you. While married couples need their space, they need together time, too.
And, no, after 4 months, it's not normal. It usually takes 2 years for the honeymoon phase to end.
2007-03-08 08:14:07 · answer #4 · answered by <3 The Pest <3 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You might have if made the wrong decision by thinking marriage is all about intamcy and passion. Though affection and passion have it's place in marriage, when it becomes the main focus, you are setting your marriage up to fail.
You do sound a bit clingly though. Get a hobby.
2007-03-08 08:14:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
After only 4months of marriage....and you're being told you are asking for too much love and affection ? That you're too clingy ??
I would be asking him what his problem is?? Tell him you Love him and want to share all that love with him and your intimacy.
Being too clingy is one thing...always needing to be touched , held, comforted....etc.........but if he's not "showing you affection" you need to talk openly to him*
You don't want to live the rest of your life with someone that doesn't want to give you any affection*
Talk to him first and see where he's coming from....then take it from there* GOODLUCK*
2007-03-08 08:13:09 · answer #6 · answered by friskymisty01 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is never wrong to want those things from the person you love whether you are 18 or 108 years old.
Seek marriage counseling to work this out. You love one another and are newly married it will take time to adjust to one another.
Good luck.
2007-03-08 08:32:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you KIDDING me? I still expect it after 25 YEARS of marriage! I don't like "clingy" - each person needs their own space and that's perfectly normal (I have even spent weekends at my sister's house in FL without my husband a few times, just to get some "me time" and some quality time with my oldest sister); but we ALL want to be loved, appreciated, and feel special to our spouse! There's nothing wrong with that!
2007-03-08 08:35:57 · answer #8 · answered by Romans 8:28 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its never wrong to want any or all of those things(most of us do), but your husband may have a less intense approach to things!
Instead of using those particular words over & over with him (sometimes there is to much stigma attatched to those words) just try taking what you need: don't ask for cuddles,hugs,kisses & romance just do it (make things happen) if he really is that none responsive try counciling & blablabla if that don't work than find someone else(don't just cheat / you'll have to break up offically)
Good luck & God Bless
2007-03-08 08:26:08 · answer #9 · answered by ☆♥•´`•.¸ ;-) •´`•.¸ ♥☆ 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
after 4 months a marriage should still be full of intimacy on a regular basis
2007-03-08 09:12:05 · answer #10 · answered by Jim G 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋