Can a marriage work and survive with little or no sex?? Like once a month is all.Everything else or aspect of your relationship is PERFECT..He is a loving partner,holds hands,a real gentleman,very affectionate,good provider,best friend.We have everything in common and get along too good except when it comes to sex. He has little or no sex drive,I have a great sex drive.He says sometimes he works like 10-12 hrs a day and just wants to come home and Relax and then to bed,but does cuddle and hold me so its not like i dont get attention..just no sexual attention. He says he is just tired and LIFE and a relationship are more than sex..Will we be able to make it???
2007-03-07 23:34:48 · 19 answers · asked by ccrazeegyrl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Great answers..Thanks..and Yes i'm 100% positive he is not seeing anyone else..By the way he worships the ground i walk on,so it is perfect in every other way..I will i guess just give it time!
2007-03-08 00:11:58 · update #1
I guess you should ask yourself "Did you marry your husband for sex or because you love him." Just try to make the time you have together as special as possible and make him want more. It sounds like he really loves you and you love him and that is what is the most important thing. In the meantime look into things online that may help his sex drive. Maybe he would be open to trying some treatments to help him "get in the mood" more often. Yes there are things that you can do for yourself to keep you happy inbetween your time with your husband but you should not give up on him. Who is to say that you find a man with an excellent sex drive is going to treat you as good as your husband does. Chances are if a man has an overactive sex drive then he is going to satisfy that with you and anyone else who will give him the time of day. I say support your husband and make your time together amazing and love him with all your heart and be glad you have an amazing husband. They are not that easy to find. Remember Quality not Quantity.
2007-03-08 00:44:31 · answer #1 · answered by Jen C 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sex is not the be all and end all, as you have said he is everything elses attentive, affectionate, loving.......
I make love with my partner, to me sex is what people have on a one night stand,everybody has a different sex drive, could just be his job is to tiring and he just doenst have the energy for love making at the end of the day......
Ask him if he finds his job stressful, have you spoke to him about the once a month thing, said you would like to be intimate more often, the marriage can survive as lopng as your happy with the way things are, I dont think you are though or you wouldnt be asking this question, talk with him about it before you become angry,resentful or feel you dont turn him on, was your sex life very acctive before you both married, did you have sex regular when you where dating?
If so ask him whats changed,he may be unsure about his sexuality this can also happen and can be nothing to worry about,get to the root of it and sort things out, I wouldnt like to see you split because of it as you have a perfect relationship in every other way.......
Good luck best wishes for the future.......
2007-03-08 08:47:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If everything is going fine sure it could survive if you want it to. Obviously your husband is ok with little sex but are you willing to live like this. It's up to you whether this marriage survives or not. Your husband is right a relationship is more than sex but it is a big part of it. This just food for thought, I know I watch to much TV but do you think he could be seeing someone else and maybe that's why he's so tired and has no sex drive. I don't hear of to many guys who don't have any sex drive it's unusual sounding not saying it's impossible.
2007-03-08 07:51:03 · answer #3 · answered by momseekinganswers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's quite tired after working the 10-12 hr days...but after fcoming home, eating dinner and relaxing before bed...he should still have a bit of energy to please you...Sex is part of a relationship, not for all, but for most...I'm sure he'd even sleep Better after having sex* Talk to him and let him know that you know SEX isn't everything in a relationship...but is nice to have that intimacy more than once a month.
Perhaps one night....make a romantic dinner for 2..run a bath for you both to share with candles...give him a massage to relax him more from his stressful tiring long days.....then perhaps spice it up a bit...put some music on and do a lil "dance" for him....or even hop in the shower with him before he heads off to work....a lil morning fun brings out the sun*:) Everybody is happy*
If he still won't /can't ....you need to invest in a vibrator* and when he asks WHY , let him know you are very sexual and are wanting more so rather than finding someone else.as that's not an option for you as you Love him with all your heart..you purchased a vibrator to get you through those times* He may then want to make you HAPPY rather than knowing you're using a "sex tool".
GOODLUCK*
2007-03-08 08:09:59 · answer #4 · answered by friskymisty01 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i honestly believe it could! later on in life wehn poeple are to old to do so doesnt mean they dont want to just that their bodies cant handle it... a few tips tho. wake up a hour earlier in the morn and dotings then men have more drive in the morning when well rested, just becareful they are also more fertile as well:)..... mkae simple changes to things that you can in your life and make time for your guys sexual habits. i too am in a relationship with a man that works 14 hrs a day and its factory work. things rarely happen after he gets home but things can happen at tother times days off, in the mornings, and make time to just get away some weekends. with a little effort and understanding you can get that drive back into him. a realtionship with the person is more important than sex with them but sex is still a critical factor ofthe relationship itsself and shouldnt be played down nor up. it shouldnt be so big that it should determine your status with him and the longevity of your relationship....its a part of life but thats not what makes life great even if it is a great perk to it all:)
2007-03-08 08:39:14 · answer #5 · answered by patricia 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I haven't really been in this kind of situation,so can't give you a straight answer really. But if I were to be,I'd definetely try to make everything work out and I don't see a reason why it shouldn't. I mean yeah,sex is pretty important,but beyond that is firendship,support,and being with someone you really feel you should be with. We don't live with sex,we live with feeling after all. And besides that you now you can achieve anything if you put your mind to it. Optimism,that's the thing...
And even if you look for sex elsewhere,it shouldnt be a problem since it's just sex.At least that's the way I'd see it.
2007-03-08 07:47:53 · answer #6 · answered by misanthrop 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Peoples sex drives go up and down throughout life, so I would say give the man a chance. If it is to the point of you not being happy then I would try counceling.
I think it just depends on the couple, some don't mind less frequent sex and others have to have it all the time.
2007-03-08 07:40:07 · answer #7 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I were the opposite...The problem with this is there is a need in the relationship not being met. I don't mean to insult your character, but humans in general will look to fulfill their needs one way or another.
Sit down with him on one of his days off and gently speak to him about it. Tell him how much he means to you and how much you treasure the times when you are intimate.
If it is just a matter of sex drive, there are medications that a man can take that will increase the sex drive (I don't mean just erection problems...) Just try very hard not to attack his manhood....We men get VERY defensive about that...LOL
Be supportive, but let him know you feel there is something missing there that he can 100% fix.
Good luck
2007-03-08 07:44:45 · answer #8 · answered by Wraith95 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you really crave him and intimacy with him, you will end up getting fed up. Or you will find someone that does give that to you. Yes, those other things are important, but sex was created for a reason, and good sex in a marriage, along with a good rapport, is what is the blond and the glue to the relationship. Without it, it usually comes unglued and falls apart.
2007-03-08 07:40:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes, and you have it good,but Why not plain a romance night once a week and tell him it's mandatory!
Then tell him be home a 5, and do something different every week!
You might start something that really catches on in your marriage and then who knows?
2007-03-08 07:46:12 · answer #10 · answered by Free-Lance 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋