and my parents want me to have an arranged marraige with i have been bought up and born in the uk i am torn my parents will not allow me to marry out of the family this guy is 8 yrs older than me my parents are worried as i have several unmarried female cousins how can i tell them how i feel they will not listen
2007-03-07 22:36:43 · 17 answers · asked by desiasianchick 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hi
Im also 20 i can imagine how u feel my best friend went thru a simular situation she married for the sake of her family a year later they divorced leaving her with a baby and a stigma attached to her, pls do not marry him for the sake of family do what you ahve to do at the end of the day it will be you who is living with this guy for life NOT them as for the unmarried cousins it's nothing to do with you besides being unmarried is hardly a sin is it?
take a long look at your life and what you want forget everyone else
2007-03-07 22:42:16 · answer #1 · answered by Miss M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-09-30 09:24:31 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, you may have to make some hard decisions. First of, do you actually know the guy your parents have chosen? dont necessarily judge by age difference. Second, do you love someone else and that is why you dont want to marry your parents choice? if so, it will better to be frank with them but risk losing them (here's hoping your guy is worth it and has the guts..). Or, maybe you could talk to an older relative who you can relate to and who might be better at reasoning with you parents. Remember, you parents are not your enemies - they just always forget they were your age once as well. As a last resort, get the guy to say no....
2007-03-07 22:46:31 · answer #3 · answered by shyguy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, I am so sorry but you can't live your life by what your family wants.
You seem like a girl who respects her parents so you have to help them to understand that you are not your cousins and that they have raised a wonderful daughter who will one day find someone (at the right time in your life) who appreciates that. Ask them if they would feel comfortable with you being in a marriage that you would be unhappy in. You could also try to bargain with them saying that if you are not settled down in a few years then you would be very open to an arranged marriage.
But girl, just do what you believe is right for you.
2007-03-07 22:46:30 · answer #4 · answered by Tia S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they most likely will not listen , follow your heart , and if neccesary leave if you dont want to be hit with the family values , consider the side effects , and if you feel they are worth it , dont get the arranged marraige .
I wouldnt - society has changed , whatever you do has the same % of failure , you may as well find someone you do love , or be put in one you might . big decsion , good luck
2007-03-07 22:43:15 · answer #5 · answered by DSV 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to your parents that in today's generation, freedom of marriage is the norm. Let them know that you want to have a say especially when it concerns a life partner. Let them know that you don't mind meeting up with this guy but its not an indication that you'll marry him. Relationship needs to be nurtured.
2007-03-07 22:42:05 · answer #6 · answered by SGElite 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This isn't Italian culture at all. Italians in Italy marry who they want, at least here in northern Italy things happen this way and there aren't arranged marriages.
When you are in the age of majority, if your parents force you to do what they want, you leave their house and go to live alone.
Nobody will kill or persecute you and if your parents don't let you live your life, you can stop talking to them.
You are not their personal property.
In my Italian family NOBODY has to please mama and papa, we DO live in 21th century in Italy.
2015-07-12 00:34:23 · answer #7 · answered by Giuly 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah I know what your going through my family are Arabic they have the same mentality too but my mum is Italian thank god for that. Anyways travel and let them regret that they suggested that on you. Change your life for the better that’s what my plan is is to escape from the madness.
2007-03-07 22:52:06 · answer #8 · answered by amyhamad 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
at least meet the guy, if you have no desire still then let him know. He might not be all that thrilled in an arranged marriage either. If that is the case then it easier to tell your parents woth him agreeing with you.
2007-03-07 22:41:30 · answer #9 · answered by glazer_098 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my daughter is married to an italian guy and i know how you have to please mama n papa else your life aint worth living cant you make them realise that were living in the 21st century and you are a grown up and as such need to make your own way in this life that should be yours and yours alone your choices and your own mistakes however if you are living under their roof then there is only one course of action to leave home is this a possibility? good luck
2007-03-07 22:44:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋