I married my bestfriend and we're not friends anymore,everything changed when we got married,and all he dose is talk, talk, talk,and he dosent want me to have anything for myself,and I mit be a little selfesh when I say that,but Im 21 souldnt I have a car,and my on little group of girlfriends? Hell I cant even spend the night with my little sister!
2007-03-07 22:06:25 · 15 answers · asked by captinfuzzy420 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
DIVORCE.....simple Good Luck
2007-03-07 22:33:01 · answer #1 · answered by whateverhohum 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ok here is the thing. if everyone that thought like you do got a divorce this society would continue on its downward spriral.
i see he talks alot . do you listen alot . do you talk alot.
seems to me that the problem here might be a severe lack of comunication. certainly you should have a group of friends however you are married so what you do with the friends might be different then what singles do . you cant go to the bar get drunk and sleep with some guy. you can have friends over for a party . you can meet couple that are married.
you can work out a way to fix it so you either have a car of your own or you really share the one you two have.
please put the vows first a vow is a promise to god and to your husband. its not a promise its not a temperary thing its a permenent contract . i think you can work this all out but you both have to talk listen and comprimize some. i am sure you can again be great friends who grow old together loving the fact that you made it work. work on one thing at a time how about the isolation one first. see how you two can figure out how you can have friends . we all need to have at least one friend that could be a sister who is the friend thats common but at least one other person . its basic we are intellegent beings after a time we can predict all to often what the other will say in a casaual conversation so we dont have them and fall in too a trap where talk stops. we are not so intellegent to be able to not be surprised by what the other person says when handed a new idea a new question problem or potentail solution . thank god for that . speaking of god how about you go to church there may well be some couples or single ladies there your age who are hoping to meet new people and who would not be involved in a life style that involved getting drunk taking drugs and sleeping around. some maybe but more then likely you could meet some one that suits your mutail needs.
2007-03-07 23:02:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are not happy then leave. You can explore the option of counseling, talking to your husband and letting him know your needs aren't being met. Sounds like he is controling which is a bad trait. At least you two don't have any kids yet.
I personally believe that you should never get physically involved or married to your best friend because situations just like this occur. I believe in becoming best friends during the marriage or a long committed relationship with the person.
We all make mistakes but that doesn't mean we have to suffer the rest of our lives for it. So try some options that you do have and if it doesn't work then get out now before you get jammed in and feel you can't ever leave.
2007-03-07 22:19:11 · answer #3 · answered by Sunshine 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hmmm this is a difficult one. It sounds to me that you both may have rushed into this and now want the easy way out. Personally I don't think that you are both talking to each other enough, you both need to sit down and talk about how you are feeling and work through this. I do agree that at your age you should have friends of your own but you both have to find that happy medium. I met my husband when we were both 17, we are now 31 and love each more now than ever, we had a few rough years but we stuck it out and stayed with it. Try to save your marriage not bail on it at the first hurdle
2007-03-07 22:12:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You,re just being frustrated because you married too young when you,re supposed to enjoy your life and really discover yourself first. You see you,re just discovery yourself now that,s why you,re facing these dificulties. Does your boy friend or husband have enough money to take care of you and himself? If he has,why don,t you just resolve the issue of a car, your girlfriends with him? Pls don,t rush out of marriage if you found love and the problem is just the time you need to groove. That will fade with time but your marriage is more important. He simply need you more than anything. Just work out a way to combine your grooving with your marriage. Remember, grooving and friends only last a short time but mariage a life time. goodluck.
2007-03-07 23:14:59 · answer #5 · answered by lovely 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have your own job, car,money, and friends. But most men don't want their wife spending the night somewhere else. Let your sister spend the night with you. Maybe you shouldn't be married, you are too young to be, You havn't seen anything life has to offer yet.
2007-03-07 23:11:42 · answer #6 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to married life. I, 41 got married when I was almost 19. .....23 years of marriage w/ lots of rollercoasters, compromises and changes.
I usually find when my husband is doing something...he doesn't usually know he is doing it...guys vary hugely from woman! Learn this now! It will save you years of pain...get the book....author gray....guys are from mars/girls are from venus...or something like that...it can be helpful to you...
More than giving him a chance, give yourself a chance in this marriage, and realize that you didn't enter into something disposable....the Bible says..."Let no man put asunder what God has put together"...W/ much prayer to the one who created you and and your soul mate I think this can work.
I trully believe if you pray even just a little before talking to your husband about feeling like he has a "choke hold" on you...things can work out...Maybe he needs to be re-assured your "girlie" outtings are "guy hunting" outtings...eventhough you know that's not what they are...YOU CAN DO THIS. W/ the Lord at your side....years later you can look back at this time and share it w/ your daughter....and encourage her! Best of success to you!
2007-03-07 22:19:47 · answer #7 · answered by diane b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, he can only treat you that way if you ALLOW him to do it. So, if you don't want to be married, move out and go see an attorney. If you want to try to make things right, tell the ding-bat, jealous, possessive hubby that you are entitled to a life beyond "HIM" and that your experiences bring new life to your relationship. I wouldn't let any man prevent me from seeing my own family. Yes, by all means get yourself a car! He's trying to control you to the point of keeping you hostage. Don't let him do it; it will only get worse. Get angry and do what you have to do. If he threatens you in any way, leave his as*s! Godloveya.
2007-03-07 22:13:24 · answer #8 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Unfortunately, marriage is not like buying a house, or a car. Once you get tired of it and don't want it anymore, you can't get rid of it. Its forever. You meant for it to be forever when you started it.
2007-03-07 22:11:37 · answer #9 · answered by firerookie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Simple, set up a life of your own and somewhere to go and then take you and your personal possesions and leave. Get divorced, live your life and leave the overbearing one lieing in the dirt learning where he went wrong with his life.
2007-03-07 22:11:00 · answer #10 · answered by vort_x_19 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Speak some senses to him and let him know you need some personal space. Advise him to respect you. You're not his slave having to serve him 24/7.
2007-03-07 22:10:04 · answer #11 · answered by SGElite 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋