why do happily married men check out women?

Question

I have been married less than two years i notice my husband is always checking out women sometime he even turns around to get another look, he does this when i am with him. I told him it bothers he said must be habit but he continues to do this. now its making me feel very insecure he doesnt just glance its the way he looks at women its driving me around the bid i feel its disrespectful him doing this in front of me, whats he doing when i am not there?

i worry about this due to he cheated on his first wife twice should i worry i no men look its the way my husband looks

Answer 1

You answered your own question.The warning sign was there...he cheated on his first wife! So why would you think it is going to be different with you.Wake up.....open your eyes..

Answer 2

That is quite disrespectful...I really must have a one-off man! He would never check out another girl in front of me, if at all, unless we were doing it together for a laugh!

Make a statement, next time you're out and he does that, by just getting up calming and walking off. Just to cool yourself down and to get him to realise you're not prepared to put up with that. It's nothing drastic but lets him know you deserve respect! If he loves you enough, he'll realise pretty soon that that is no way to treat your wife.

Answer 3

Don't worry about that. Men do it all the time (married or not), even when you think they don't. It's amazing when I make a comment about a girl that just passed by and my husband says: "Yeah, I saw that", although I didn't even think he did. But the good thing is men do not put any further thought into that. They not have any intention to follow with getting to know a specific girl and cheat on you. They just do it for the sports. Yes, it is annoying but I read a good advice in a book by Barbara de Angelis: Tell your husband it is okay to watch girls but every time he appreciates something in a girl, he would turn to you and make you a compliment, that appreciates you. Hope that helps.

Answer 4

This is so disrespectful, you have told him you don`t like it. You now need to stress you not only don`t like it but won`t tolerate it. make a fuss when he does it, embarrass him.
Either that or `tit for tat` start looking at other men. When he comments on your behaviour say when he stops so will you.
Another way is training -----get a cow prod and each time he looks give him a little shock with the prod. he`ll come to heel with a strong hand!!!

Answer 5

most men do it but are a bit more discreet! women do it too. If he cheated on his first wife twice then I have to say being so blatant about looking would be sounding alarm bells for me. Also it's not good that you told him it makes you feel uncomfortable and he's still doing it. I'd keep an eye on him!

Answer 6

Yes it is disrespectful, not only to you but the relationship as well when your husband does this. Like you, I would also wonder what he was doing when you weren't around.

I don't mean this as a cut down to men but this is called the "dog gene" all men have it, but some have learned how to control it, how to respect their woman and their relationship. Men are visual creatures and they look when given the opportunity. When they grow up and become "real Men" then they no longer have the desire to look at other women when with another woman. This is just fact and not meant as a cut down toward men.

Answer 7

Well my Daddy always said when he stopped looking it would be because they had him 6 feet under. Men just like to check out the package. Because that is all they understand. He loves you. He respects you. He was checking out the package when he met you. Men just like to look they don't even realize they are doing it. When he is not with you he is looking not touching, not connecting just looking. I have been married for 37 years and my husband still looks and you know what I still look too. I don't want a new husband just like to look at the beauty that God created.

Answer 8

He sounds like a typical caveman. I'll tell you a book you ought to read which should leave him way too busy trying to please you to even think about gawping at other women.

It's called Why Men Love B1tches by Sherry Argov - despite it's comedy title and humorous approach, it covers some very fundamental ways to hold your own in a relationship without being insecure and taken for granted.

I've read it, love it, and buy it for all my friends. You can read the first few pages on amazon here: http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1580627560?ie=UTF8&tag=topofthehoffs-21&linkCode=as2&camp=1634&creative=6738&creativeASIN=1580627560.

He's behaving like this because his feet are well and truly firmly under the table and he knows he has got you. When you tell him you don't like his behaviour and that it makes you insecure - he knows even more so he can behave how he likes because he has confirmation you need him and are afraid of losing him.

Although it goes against your instinct you need to act the opposite of bothered or interested - and to go as far as becoming disinterested in him when he behaves badly. It's definitely true that a man will always work harder for a woman where he isn't sure of her interest - that's just nature unfortunately.

I'm not saying you play games to manipulate him, what I am suggesting is that you learn how to hold your own in a relationship. Marriage isn't a case of having sealed the deal and eternal happiness. Far from - to make a marriage work you need to preserve what made your relationship so special in the first place and part of that was probably that he always felt you could hold your own without him.

The answer to this question according to the book would be a bit like dog training. Confronting him about it will make him worse - by 'nagging' a man about the problem (they see anything like this as nagging) you become the problem in their eyes. If you treat him like a dog and give him no attention when he behaves like this he'll get bored of it.

How about next time he looks at another woman you disappear into the nearest shop without telling him? If you're out somewhere head to the ladies. He'll then have to get all flustered to come and find you. When he asks what you're playing at be pleasant and say with a smile you saw something that looked quite nice and wanted to get a closer look or that you needed to powder your nose and how couldn't he have noticed?! Keep up the fun and do so with a sense of humour and he'll soon learn that taking his eyes off you could mean losing you and he'll be less inclined to ogle other women then.

We can all tell ourselves that it's just the way things are and put up with it but I am not prepared to and nor do I have to. So long as you remain independent enough that he still has to work for your love and affection - without being mardy about it - he'll always be too busy ogling you and trying to win your affections than to ogle other women.

It sounds like he's becoming a bit complacent so PLEASE buy and read the book - I promise you will never look back!

Answer 9

There's nothing wrong with you so don't feel insecure.
It's already imbedded in the genes of the man to do that.
They are not out there to check out possible mates they are just admiring the female species and as you well know they have difficulty controlling their eyes.
It's purely on a look-but-don't-touch basis.
It's the same when we go gaga to some male hollywood star!

Answer 10

Try checking out guys in the exact same way he does girls, only 10 times more deliberate and obvious: Turn around, make moaning sounds, grind your hips a little, smack your lips and if you really want him to experience it, make a comment (oooh, he's fly... yow, muy caliente baby... MMmmmmmm,... etc.)-- watch him squirm some.

Well, now that you've added that he cheated on his previous wife twice... I too would be concerned. He's much too obvious and deliberate, and is clearly unsympathetic and insensitive to your concerns. Sorry hun, me thinks you may have a potential issue thru time.

Answer 11

Some men are very disrespectful like that, but if he cheated on his last wife and that did't give you a clue then this is your first clue. Why would you have married a man that you knew cheated on his ex-wife? If he cheated on her he will cheat on you. Some women think that they are special, and that he would never do that to me. That is exactly what his ex-wife thought , I would bet money.