Actually i have seen lots of girls having problems with their inlaws and their stories are genuine and most of them wants to live together happlily. Why inlaws nature is so different.Why cant they adjust with their Daughter in law? No matter what their sons do , they forgive him, but for Daughter in law, even simple mistake they cant forget it? Is this by nature? Is there any behavioural pattern different?
2007-03-07 21:52:29 · 24 answers · asked by kaliaarti 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
adjust with hubby and give him maximum enjoy. you can go life long.
2007-03-07 21:56:43 · answer #1 · answered by keral 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start to focus on your own marriage. Having new interests like a job, friends, and activities that you enjoy may help you distance yourself from your in-law problem. The less involved you are in what happens in your husband's family, and the less dependent you are upon what they think or do, the more free you will be in your relationship with them.
Stop making comparisons between yourself and
This could be for many different reasons, or for none -- things like this happen. So what, even then? This is not the end of the world; you can survive that and move on, becoming more independent emotionally and stronger.
Good luck to you,
2007-03-08 06:44:41 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Living happy every after, after marriage, only happens in fairy tales, never in reality. Actually the in-law act as catalyst to increase the love of the boy and girl. If not for in-laws the girls would start fighting with their husbands, and there would be martial problems. The in-law come as a distraction, a painful distraction, where husband sympathises with the wife and their union becomes stronger.
2007-03-08 06:32:36 · answer #3 · answered by wizard of the East 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
parents are ADVISORS !! , they have no right to make emotional decisions on a relationship , on things they dont see as right , they are marely there to give advice if you need it .. i would suggest if anyone who has problems with inlaws , evaluate the problem , understand the kind of manipulative abuse is being given to EITHER of you , and act on the understanding , family , on either side can wreck you marraige , you are married to each other , not you inlaws , move away , and be fair , in the visting of kids , with both , you cant have one , and still have the other , you are in charge of your relationship ! I say this because..
My Marraige was destroyed by inlaws ! be very wary , and always understand that this happens a lot , be wary , and control your own marraige.. be the lucky 50% who stay together!
2007-03-08 06:00:33 · answer #4 · answered by DSV 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can live happily together without confrontation with inlaws by staying in another house just you and your wife and kids..
Inlaws problem - it was there in the past and is is still now, only the difference is now it is more worst, thanks to EKTA KAPOOR for making all that sort of serials, You can notice that houselady of our mothers and aunts age, mostly 90% of them watch these serials, so what will be impact after seeing all this serials, where they will try all that sort of planning (like in serials) at home with their own daughter in law..
2007-03-09 06:01:44 · answer #5 · answered by funxxxnxxx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would term the problem you address as the mother-in-law daughter-in-law syndrome. When you live in a joint family there may be clashes but I'm sure there are happy families as well out there. When you are married your future is with your spouse and this needs to be understood by both husband and wife. You do your best to be a good spouse.
2007-03-09 04:53:24 · answer #6 · answered by AngelEyes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I don't think ALL in laws are that way. I get along pretty well with them but then again, I live about 600 miles away and only see them about once a year.
While I wouldn't avoid the in laws if I was you, you can still keep your distance and stay away from them as much as possible, be polite, smile and don't say a lot around them.
That doesn't mean let them abuse you but you don't have to agree with all of their opinions. You have to ask yourself when they say something that you don't agree with, "Does it really matter?" If they're talking about something as trivial as sports, for God's sake, let it go. Who cares about that stuff? Does it make a real difference in your life?
Bottom line, you kind of have to pick and choose your battles.
2007-03-08 06:07:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl this is coming from someone who's having that kind of trouble right now and always. I never gotten along with my mother in law she is worst than that lady from the movies MONSTER IN LAW, I think it was based on her.But anyways the secret is to ignore her and keep away from her, if from the beginning your mother in law shows you she is a witch from hell don't even try to get her to like you, because it's just not going to happend, try to move away as far as possible from her like two or three states away, that way the visits would not be as often. Is a fact that they would forgive their sons mishaps because that is what you are there for, so they can blame their son's crap on you. Staying the hell away from them is the best for us wives to do. good luck.
2007-03-08 07:51:00 · answer #8 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, to my own knowledge and stories i've heard behind the other daughter in law who has just divorced after 10 years in her marriage, - you can be into the in laws lives for a long long time, but as soon as you are out of their son's lives, whoever's falt it was your seperation - you are back to 'NO ONE' to the in laws.
You are not blood in the family, and you were not welcome as her own son (this is not only you, but everybody). Mother in laws bite their own tongue to accept you into her 'circle'. But as soon as something's not right with your marriage, you are thrown like a dirty cloth, as if you were no one for good.
My mother in law hated her other daughter in law, and when the husband went with another woman, she never pittyed to her, but only to the little kids the children. The other daughter in law was nothing in her life, as if they didn't even know each other.
They always say - If a marriage breaks, the looser is the woman. -
It is unfair, but the truth for all of us. That's why, best is always keep a line to your mother/father in laws. They do not deserve the whole packet of your loving chocolate ...
2007-03-08 10:32:15 · answer #9 · answered by Spark S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like a typical Indian upbringing. I guess it all adds up to how we treat each other. There needs to be give-and-take. For daughters-in-law, respect the elders and let them have their say and don't interupt even if you don't agree. As for parents-in-law, leave the younger generation to ran their life. You've done your bit so its time to learn to relax and let go.
2007-03-08 05:58:33 · answer #10 · answered by SGElite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might ask a social worker or radio talk show host about the problem. When is the social worker available to answer telehone calls?
In the United States, we have this problem too, although I have not read how mcuh
2007-03-08 05:58:00 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋