Are you willing to change the bad points for your personality?

Question

I used to have a bad temper and got it under control so it is possible to change....

obviously i meant 'of your personality'

Answer 1

Yes definately, I want to be the best person I can be! :o)

Answer 2

I did that too. I try to be better, to be less selfish and spoiled to be more patient and sometimes I'm sorry because the rest of the family doesn't. So I ask myself if it's right to do such work alone!
But there are a lot of things about me which I think good, or harmless and someone says they're bad. Should I want to change them?
Anyway let me tell you that you're a great person to admit you have a bad temper and to do something about it. I never knew anyone who does that.. :-))

Answer 3

Temper is not really personality. It is not a core part of who you are for most people. Everybody has to learn to control their temper to greater or lessor extents. Same with sex urges. A person who masterbates on a downtown street is no different than somebody with a temper completely out of control. What constitutes out of control is a different story.

Each of us has potential positives and negitives. A dreamer who turns those dreams into reality or uses those dreams to cope with and thus be well adjusted for example uses that aspect of their personality to be a better person. A dreamer who hides from reality in their dreams has turned this aspect of their personality into a negitive.

A person who channels anger into being a better person or onto a competitive field of endeavor uses their anger for a positive purpose. Someone who lets their anger rule them or who represses it is damaged by themselves.

Every aspect of who we can be a good or bad thing. Depends on the expression, which after all is what we praise or condem. After all it is the expression not the base emotions or instincts that we glorify or vilify. We do not praise a man for thinking about jumping in front of a car to rescue a child, we praise the act of actually doing so. The motives are rarely questioned and often unclear even to the person who commits the acts. Only from trends can we normally see self destructive behavior and or benificial behavior. Even then it's a series of trade offs. To channel certain instincts/drives in one direction, will it rob ability in another direction? Would being a more expressive person for example prevent extensive intraspection that is necessary for certain analytical tasks?

Every positive and negative trait comes with a series of trade offs. The complex mixture of these expressions and these trade offs is what we call personality. The goals of the personality can greatly affect how well recieved that mix is. The absent minded professor is a great example. Interpersonal skills are a low priority. So too is base worldly thoughts. So as a personality mix they can be crank or genial but always off in their thoughts. For the absent minded professor being popular is not a goal. Barely a consideration if that at all. Their goal in life is knowledge. It's aquisition and or usage. So they mix their personality to facilitate that goal.

As such the main personality defects are people who's personality inhibit their goals or who suffer gross social retardation which makes any goal difficult to achieve.

So before you can decide what is a bad point in your personality you have to first decide what you want out of life. Next you can look at what is helping or harming your ability to achieve those goals and decide if changing that and the resulting trade offs will help or hinder reaching that goal.

If the goal is important enough the change will be natural once a person realizes the negitive impact the behavior is having towards their goals. Until viewed from the perspective of goals change is a constant battle. A battle that is never really won. It's fought every day until it is either lost or life ends. If you don't understand why you are changing then that change is to fight yourself. How can you defeat yourself? Instead the behavior has to be understood in light of it's damaging aspects and the positive aspects of the behavior have to be replaced by other behavior that achieves the same means. After that lasting change that is not a struggle ensues. Of course this is easier said than accomplished. The mere analysis and introspection necessary is more than most people would consider. That is why they go to others like shrinks and counselors to do all that for them. Too bad most of them understand quantem physics better than they understand people.

Answer 4

Sure, I think most of us try to. But I imagine that other folks can come up with about 3x as many candidates for me to change than I would. lol

Answer 5

No, you must always like the way you are, but if your personality is to worst then help your self to improve slowly untill you are satisfied with your self.

Answer 6

yeah if things r harmful to urself & society ,u must go for changing it.but some particular specialities tht make u different from others,don't change thm ,BE URSELF.if u try making ppl happy,thy'll never be & u'll b nowhere.&*ppl for whom, u changed urself wouldn't b there to appreciate it.

Answer 7

no i like my bad points...there what make me..ME