What would you do if you were in a relationship where your partner made you unhappy, would you stay in the married for the sake of family stability for your child or not. Am really unhappy...x.
2007-03-07 20:30:40 · 19 answers · asked by Nibbles 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i stayed with my husband for 20yrs thru beatings if dinner was 5 mins late ( i worked full time and have 3 kids by him ) or other similar tiny issues....... and he had numerous affairs because (he says) he was used to being too well looked after at home so when working away for weeks/months on end... he needed to find company in the form of an open legged slag..........
i was totally unhappy in the end.... so i packed me and kids up and left while he was away once. i had only 3 days to do so, so i took leave at work for 3 days.. saw a house for private rental on first day, signed for it on second day and moved me n kids in on third day and back to work.
its been a real struggle and he wont see kids or pay toward them in any way.. and i dont have any family to support me. i still work full time and we manage. its been 2 and half years now and i am happier than i was ever in those 20yrs previous.
i hope this helps and wish u luck.
if u need to chat to anyone my email is on here.....
big hug. my heart goes out to u. xxx
2007-03-07 22:18:46 · answer #1 · answered by Cubangirl 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would definitely leave. But watch out, some people on this Yahoo Answers place will be rude to you about it!
My children always told me that it was the happiness of me and their father that was the most important - whether we were together or apart. They feel better now we have separated. From the twenty year old to the five year old, they all say the same thing, that they are happier that there is no longer conflict and unhappiness every day in the home. They see me so much happier, even if I am lonely sometimes.
2007-03-08 04:50:17 · answer #2 · answered by Solace 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, dont stay. Children are a lot smarter than you think. They big up on the tension and will act out.
My mum left my dad because she was unhappy after 21 years, and I would say we are happier. We do not have finacial stability, and I am more stressed than I have ever been, but I would never have wanted her to stay married for the sake of the children!
2007-03-08 04:36:04 · answer #3 · answered by natasha * 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think it depends on whether we're talking long term "unhappy" or you've just been unhappy for a week or two. Have you tried talking with your partner about this? Have you considered counseling?
If you are truly miserable and he has no desire to get things moving in the right direction, and you are REALLY sure that leaving is the best thing AND you're really sure that you'd be happier without him, then yes, you probably should consider leaving.
2007-03-08 04:45:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would say it depends on what is making you unhappy, any chance of few more details of what is making you unhappy so we can give best advice?
for now, i would say if you've tried talking seriously to your partner, tried couple couselling and exhausted all options and still desperately unhappy, then take your child and leave.
its true that the ideal is to have 2 parents, and that your child sees you trying to make it work, but just as inportant is the role model u set.. if your child sees u being unhappy all the time, it doesn't give them much chance of a successful relationship themselves later on.
my mum stayed with my dad til i left home, but i knew from a young age they were not happy.
i left my ex when kids were 5 and 2 coz it was having an adverse effect on them as well as me. as they got older i explained reasons why, said they may agree or disagree with my decisions but i did it with their best interests at heart.
prepare for lots of questions and anger from your child, be honest with replies appropriate for age group.
stay strong, look in your heart and mind carefully.
good luck
2007-03-08 05:11:24 · answer #5 · answered by hedgewitch 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
never stay in a relationship for the sake of the children, you will all be a lot happier apart children pick up on bad vibes so for there sake do whats gooa make u happy good luck
2007-03-08 05:44:18 · answer #6 · answered by Jo -Jo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
having been in a marriage like that, i can honestly say the best option is to get out of it, a child is far happier living in a happy situation. i left with 2 children, not easy, but im glad i did, my eldest wished id hav done it years before. we only have one life, remember that, if we can be happy, take that chance, its far better than wasting your life being unhappy, find the stength and walk away
2007-03-08 05:27:10 · answer #7 · answered by chakra girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes hon and it really sucks!!! I'm here for my children, now my husband is not a bad man he just made mistakes like cheating and stuff but overall treats me good and it's a wonderful father, but still I'm not happy anymore, I wish that I could forgive him but in my heart I know I can't and that makes me unhappy, but we have this kids and I feel this tremendous responsibility to raise them right and with a father. So that is that. I'm here my body is here but my heart is not. good luck. one more advice do not take abuse if that is the case then you should leave.
2007-03-08 08:05:21 · answer #8 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, the child may end up feeling bad. Even if you try to make it unnoticable, the child will sense something is wrong. If you're honestly unhappy, try to find happiness.
2007-03-08 05:10:39 · answer #9 · answered by pixie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my personal take on this...i think it's better for the kid to have ONE HAPPY Parent than TWO UNHAPPY Parents. I know kids are very smart and they can sense the tension between parents. Do what you think is best for yourself and your kid...why stay in a marriage just for the sake of it when you know you can provide the love and attention to your kid. And if you and your spouse are mature about the whole situation, then i think you can have a win-win situation for yourself as well as for your kid. i think as adults we have to try to manage the situations and not allow our petty and selfish nature take over. hope this helps
2007-03-08 05:06:53 · answer #10 · answered by labrin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋