He constantly tells me that I'm useless and a terrible wife, mother, housekeeper......and it's true. I haven't been able to function. I've been in therapy but I wonder if being alone would help me heal more than the environment I am now in. Like I said I can't seem to do the simplist of tasks when a few years ago I was an accounting manager, I have a college degree in Accounting but can't seem to concentrate. Like he says "useless". I feel like I take up space but am scared to try to leave and be alone.
2007-03-07 19:09:48 · 11 answers · asked by Rhonda 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My friend, this may seem drastic, but your husband needs to GO. The sooner the better. I would never tell anyone this, unless I felt your life was in danger, and I feel your is. When someone is feeling this depressed, they do not need to have a huge negative standing their -reminding them-how they are no good! This man has you down on the ground, exactly where he wants you. Mainly because of his insecurities, and wanting control of you. People like this will do anything to get control, it's sick. You won't be alone when he's gone. You have children, and you can ask for help from your family or friends. If you feel you cannot function, talk to your Dr. about maybe going into the hospital for a couple weeks to get your strength mentally, or be sure to visit a Dr. and let them know what's going on. Today. But please, separate yourself from your husband, he already has you thinking you aren't good, which is so UNTRUE!!! Learn to love yourself again, your kids need you, they truly do-no-one can take your place in their hearts. You are worth it!!! LOVE DOES NOT HURT-does this sound like your husband?
2007-03-07 20:03:19 · answer #1 · answered by sue d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not in the least bit surprised you feel depressed, especially since you have somebody calling you useless all the time. The fact that you believe what he says is the icing on the cake. You feel useless, because you have allowed him to convince you that you are. Depression is rather like a dark cloud that hangs over your head and you can't just snap out of it. You probably find that things that didnt upset you before bother you immensely, and you can't get motivated to do things that you once found easy. Might I suggest you try a natural remedy which is St John's wort - I tried it and it worked for me. If not, get some antidepressants from the doctor. I wouldn't suggest you move out until you start to feel a bit better, because if you spend too much time by youself you tend dwell on things and make yourself feel worse about them. Also, depression influences your decisions, so perhaps it's best not to make a big choice like that until after your depression has lifted. Hope this helps, kind regards Penny xx
2007-03-07 19:44:47 · answer #2 · answered by Vanessa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No wonder you're depressed. Your husband does not seem very supportive at all. You're in a deep depression you cannot possibly expect yourself to be capable of all the things you did when you felt well. He should not kick you when you're down by insulting you. That is not a loving or caring thing to do. You are not useless. You are apparently skilled enough to get a degree and get a job in accounting and better yet a management position. That person is still inside of you, you just need to find her. You probably do need medication to stabilize you. Ask your therapist about anti-depressants because your mood has a lot to do with brain chemistry. With the proper treatment you will be back to yourself in no time. You are not useless.
2007-03-07 19:29:16 · answer #3 · answered by Chloe 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i'm so sorry . try and stay at home where you feel safest and try to tell your man to give you some time. is he saying these things in an argument or all the time? next get some meds and then when ever you can explain to him that if you had a broken arm he would be bending over backwards to help,just because he can't see the hurt part does not mean it isn't there. i know that when you get depressed (or anyone) that you will try to hide from the problem. you have to realize it isn't going anywhere till you face it . he may be trying to help the only way he can think of. tell him that he isn't making you mad ,he's just hurting you more. i hope this helps. and if you think leaving is the answer i would talk to someone that knows you first . just so you get an opinion from someone you trust first hand. i wish I was your friend so that i could help you threw this .
2007-03-07 19:27:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have to face reality dear. You might be a failure now but do not let it despair you into thinking that whatever you do would be wrong. You must tell yourself "you can make it" and affirm it with confidence. You can start by doing simple things around the house. Like cleaning the house, make sure you clean the house and don't miss a corner. You can plan what to do and how to do and write them down in a list. Go through one by one what needs to be done in the house then later in your life. Always try to think positive. You may need to talk to your husband about it and it takes both you and your husband to help you to go through this tough journey. Good luck.
2007-03-07 19:19:52 · answer #5 · answered by happy 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My dear friend who is now a psychiatrist once said that depression is anger turned inwards against yourself.
I imagine you have a lot to be angry about. Get out of the marriage, and see if you feel an awful lot better after a year or two!
2007-03-07 19:47:08 · answer #6 · answered by katy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same thing-only anxiety disorder/post traumatic stress syndrome-I will be leaving soon. get away from the tide pool that keeps dragging you down. it's easy to stay because it's familiar and comfortable. the put-down's and non-acceptance are unbearable and not letting you grow. don't let his lack of security keep you from getting well. find yourself-accept yourself and feel your self and know your truth. I'm scared to leave also-but really--more scared to stay and live a "useless" life. don't let anyone compound your own feelings of worthlessness. Unnecessary pain. who want's someone that can't accept your pain? what else can he not handle??
2007-03-07 21:07:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he may be the reason for your depression in the first place. just don't believe what he is telling u. u may be dealing with some kind of unresolved grief, something u have not dealt with. he is not helping u one bit get better. seek some help, maybe antidepressants would help u.
2007-03-08 00:06:27 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you shouldnt let him get to you like that ... you are much better than him , so dont listen to him do your own thing and everything willbe fine . try to make new friends and see if that helps any good luck and stay in touch if you need someone to vent on or jsut talk to ok
2007-03-07 19:24:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have you tried medication? Worked wonders for me. See a psychiatrist.
2007-03-07 19:14:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋