My friend has been married to her husband for two years, no kid. I guess they really weren't in love, that she should cheat on him already. Anyways, she met this guy, always talked to me about him (I was beginning to become suspicious of her--always talking about this new guy), and she really thinks she's in love. So, let's just put it that she really is in love with him. She slept with him, and now she's pregnant. She can't really claim its her husband's baby, cuz he's been working in another country for a year now. "Abortion is out of the question" she says, and is now thinking about staying with me (I live alone in the country side) give birth to the baby and give it up for adoption. My friend is one of those people who is obssessed w/ what society thinks of her--all her friends are Christians, and she's been raised with the kinda concept: "Adultary is sin, go to hell" Well, maybe I emphasized it a bit too much.
2007-03-07 18:41:08 · 20 answers · asked by June H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Anyways, she doesn't want anyone else to know. Her parents don't know. Her husband doesn't know. The guy she slept with doesn't know. Only me, or so she tells me. What should I do? I wouldn't mind her staying at my place--in does get a bit boring there. And though she's public-obssessed, she's a really sweet girl. And I think that giving the child up for adoption might kinda....depress her later on (Am I wrong about this?). Should she do this? Or what would you suggest she do? Or, if she does give the baby up, do you think this might sc.rew her up....psycologically? I'm so worried
2007-03-07 18:41:25 · update #1
She needs to quit worrying about what everyone else thinks and think of her own happiness..If she is in love with this guy, then she should divorce her husband and go to the new guy...Especially if her husband has been gone for a year, that is not a good relationship
2007-03-07 18:47:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
her husband should have been there for her all along and i'm glad to hear that shes not going to kill the baby. i don't think shes dumb at all just lonely and your job as a friend is to help her through this with her head on right. this is what you do get her out there with you and do not complain later on when shes all big and fat and upset with the world pregnancy does that to everyone. the next thing is to support her decision to adopt and if she changes her mind well then so do you. next make sure she goes to the doc and does things right for the health of her and the child.and last of all try and talk to her about where she needs to be with her husband. she may get stretch marks and then how will she explain those and all the things that may happen while prego like if she had to go to the hospital for her mom or something and she will be all fat from the baby and not able to hide it. talk to the guy she slept with they may be in love and everything will work it's own way out. be positive and let me say thank you for being such a good friend. kindness is what she needs right now and again latter not what alot of the others are saying so good for you that you care so much-plus her husband needs to be home or have her with him thats what he gets for being gone so long
2007-03-07 19:15:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gee what a hard way to learn a lesson. At this stage your friend may want to give up her baby but once it arrives or during her pregnancy she may decide to keep her child. I think that you are a good friend to be helping her in her situation. Her plan could work and really it is hard to tell whether it will psychologically effect her right now. If she truely believes that her decision is the right decision then she may cope very well giving up the baby for adoption. I don't think that her choice should be made based on what others may think about her, and should be based on what she thinks and what she can live with. The only person she has to answer to in the long term, is herself. Hope that helps.
2007-03-07 18:55:19 · answer #3 · answered by purpleorca 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend needs to admit that she has done wrong and take responsibility for it. You can't help her make this decision noone can. Lying is a sin and so is killing an innocent child that didn't ask to be brought into this situation. Tell your friend to keep her legs together from now and she could have easily avoided this problem by not cheating on her husband to begin with.
2007-03-07 19:03:14 · answer #4 · answered by jimmy_chick78 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any thoughts or consideration for the baby's needs? Yes,
it's a mess, but there is no quick fix that doesn't hurt everyone
but the one who caused all the trouble in the first place.
Sounds like you have quite a special friend. I think you should let your friend clean up her own mess and deal with the consequences of her thoughtless and selfish actions.
I hope and pray for that poor baby that didn't do anything
to anyone, but will be skirted off to an unknown future to facilitate the wants and conveniences of your friend.
2007-03-07 19:00:23 · answer #5 · answered by Mr. US of A, Baby! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let's assume she stays with you, has the kid, gives it up for adoption, ends the affair and stays with her husband... Then what? Now she's married to someone she doesn't love who goes away for a year at a time, leaving her home to think about the baby she gave up and the "affair" she ended, with someone she actually DOES love.
Or...she can come clean with the husband, get divorced, marry and have a baby with the man she really loves.
Hmmmmmm.....doesn't seem all that tough a decision to me.
2007-03-07 18:57:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that your friend has notoriously bad judgment.
But I have no right to judge her.
If she won't have an abortion, then the most important thing is the welfare of this kid she's chosen to bring into the world.
It's a tough world. She has to make a choice she can live with. Not for her Christian friends, not for her concepts of sin and hell and a righteous god, but on her own. At this rate, adoption may be the best option.
You know your friend better than I do. I hope she can make a good choice. Good luck to you.
2007-03-07 18:51:01 · answer #7 · answered by Dalarus 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If she was ok with committing adultery (even though it was wrong according to her beliefs) - why not make her life less complicated by bending the rules once more, and having an abortion? As they say in Russia, you answer only once for the seven sins. It's really foolish of her to not be taking advantage of the latest medical technology. This is the advice I would give her if I was her friend. However, of course what she does is up to her. All I can say is that she's so far gone, I doubt you can help her. She will probably drag you down with her.
2007-03-07 19:12:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
You got that all wrong SHE not They was not in love, Abortion is out of the question? well there went your only answer to keep it secrete, how they heck can she not let everyone know if she has the child?that will never work
And thanks for waisting more of my hard earned tax money. Tell your "friend" to grow up and do something either abort the child or keep it and raise it , but do not pass the burden onto others!!!!!! Why should tax paying people pay 18 years for her one night fling
2007-03-07 18:49:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You sound like a really good friend to be so worried about her problem, but remember it's her problem she got herself into this mess and needs to get herself out, she needs to feel the consequences of her actions. i don't know about the adoption plan, no matter how she trys to hide it someone will find out about the pregnancy before the birth, so it's really up to her, maybe next time she'll think twice about being unfaithful.
2007-03-07 18:48:24 · answer #10 · answered by mandeeree 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋