Why do i always feel inferior? What can i do to increase my confidence?

Question

I'm not sure whether talent is in-born or gained in other ways, but people around me seem to be so intelligent and talented that i always feel inferior. Even if i work and study hard, i never seem to match up to their standards. Nowadays i feel confused, sad and depressed more often. Help please... sob... ...

Answer 1

If terms of fitting in with other people? Possibly you're hanging out with an awkward crowd. If things don't feel right then that's not the crowd for you. You should always know that you are the standard and you shouldn't feel that you have to change who you are for others. Also, that would be lying to yourself as well.

As for confidence, presuming you study hard, read plenty of books, especially philosophy books. If you don't know where to start, a starter would be The Philosophy of Andy Warhol. I like that book. Take a basic speech course. Talk to people, talk to strangers, store clerks, you have nothing to lose with them because you will never see them again.

Answer 2

If this is seriously how you feel you may be suffering from depression and need medication- there is nothing wrong with that, people that have to take meds are misssing a chemical and the meds they take are a cynthtic version of what is missing. Also look online and find some lists of positive affirmations- tape them to your mirror and fridge and if you work your desk if you are in school put them up in your locker. A threapist will also reccomend that you look in the mirror atleast 5 times a day and tell yourself 5 positive affirmations. Also another fantastic idea that I did for a very long time is to make a gratitude journal--- like you start out your entry with the line "I am greatful that/for/because etc.... I am sure that you are a fantastic and wonderful person. No matter who you are if you try to compare yourself with others you will feel less than even if you are in fact better than. And for talent- is is natural/achived you have to work really hard at something to become very successful at it, also you are not ging to be great at everything, that is not the point though---- it is to ejoy it while you are doing it. Like I would love to be a hip hop dancer- ya it is never going to happen I have less rythem than a trailer park full of white people- for real but that is ok- when I go to a party/club man I bust a move doing the C_walk like I really know what I am doing, and guess what people love it because I am being real- I hope this has helped you and seriously I would talk to a therapist/doctor about some meds ok good luck

Answer 3

therapy, get some. it works.

all i can say is that i think somewhere along the line. someone or something in your life convinced you that you were never going to accomplish anything or never amount to much. instead of telling that person or thing to take a hike, you let it sink into your mind and dictate your life. sound familiar?

now you use this whole thought pattern as crutch to deal with life. but it's obviously not doing any good because you're miserable.

so here's the plan to take back your life.

stop with all the negative thoughts. it obviously won't make a bad situation easier and it won't help you deal better with rejection. you need to brush those thoughts aside and focus on the good stuff , like your positive attributes and the things that make you happy. try it. it may seem hard at first, but it'll get easier and become more natural if you committ to it.

also, please stop comparing yourself to others. you're never going to accomplish anything by doing it. there will always be someone brighter, funnier, better looking, taller, more athletic , etc. it's a universal fact for everyone. just accept it and move on. you're unique and you only have a limited time here on this planet, so enjoy yourself and enjoy the qualities that others have to offer. you'll come to see that some people already admire for these different qualities.

finally, don't look to others for recognition or approval. don't give anyone that power over your life. let me repeat this. it's your life, and you only have a limited time on earth. figure out what you want to accomplish and go for it. have fun. live a little. try it out.

it takes a little work, but if you put in the effort you'll realize you're a lot more impressive than you think.

Answer 4

" Never compare yourself with others, for always there will be someone greater than you."- desiderata.

You have to believe in yourself and avoid comaparing yourself with others. You have something that others don't have. You have talents that others don't have. It is good to recognize your weakness but it is best to develop your skil or your strength.

why don't you try evaluating yourself and ask what is it that you have. Recognize and develop this skills and learn to trust yourself.
Tell yourself that you can do something and slowly you will gain the confidence you need.

Everyone of us feels inferior at times. It during the times when we find ourselves lesser than others. This attitude does not create anything positive in us so better avoid it.

I used to feel the same way. In fact, sometimes i could still feel the same. However, whenever i felt my self esteem getting low i always remember the lines in desederata like a mantra and try to focus on what i can do instead of what i can't.

If i am not beautiful enough or intelligent enough for the rest of the world then i couldn't help it. I just try to develop what ever skill i think i possess because surely i am not as unlucky as never having anything to proud of in my life.

Surely there is something in you that you can be proud of. You just have to search yourself deep enough to find it. Maybe you are focusing too much on what others can do that you never realized that you can also do what they can, maybe even better than them. Maybe you've been telling yourself that the people around you are too beautiful for so many times already that you never noticed that you too has beauty.

It is only with accepting yourself that you will gain the confidence that you want.


hope this helps...

:)

Answer 5

I think that you are probably more intelligent and talented than you think, but because of your low self confidence this intelligence and talent is in hiding.

You must believe in yourself, this way you will find your inner talented self shine through. If you are focusing all your energy on what others around you are doing there will be none lift for yourself hence why you feel sad.

try this site:
http://www.authorsden.com/visit/viewarticle.asp?AuthorID=9920&id=14751

this may make you feel betta :) dont give up!

Answer 6

You need to build your self-esteem and self-confidence. Everyone has a talent or skill that no one else has. You need to look inside you to find those qualities that make you more unique than others.
Sometimes that takes being creative, and taking on challenges that you wouldn't normally endure.
Don't just do something you see others doing, and try to master that! You need to find something that you ENJOY doing and build on that!
Don't beat yourself up over that. Just because these other people are better at doing things you can't do, doesn't make you any less of a person.
You need to do some self-affirmations. Tell yourself that you ARE:
- intelligent
- worthy
- appreciated
- loving
- caring
- dedicated
- ambitious
- creative
- motivated
etc, etc...
You need to think about what you enjoy doing, find your passion, and pursue that...

Don't give up!

Answer 7

First of all, stop comparing yourself!!! Concentrate on what your doing, not everybody else. You are being to hard on yourself. someone has bruised your self esteem somewhere in your life.! Although other people try to appear like everything is perfect in there world they all have the same issues. You have put yourself inside the box and are looking outside at the world like it is impossible!!!! NOT!!!! I mean do you really wan to change your own essence of being to be be something other than who you were meant to be??? That made since when it ran through my mind anyway!!! I think you can be happy with who you are. Look within!!!

Answer 8

You need to stop comparing yourself. EVERYONE is different. We have different talents and intelligences. You need to write a list of your strengths and then get your good friends and families to do the same for you. Decide that you are going to accept anything they say.

Answer 9

i would suggest that you read "desiderata" it is available on the Internet.

you can spend so much time admiring other peoples' niche that you have no time for your own place in life. you are meant to be somewhere and be somebody in future. it ain't gonna happen if you're daydreaming about other peoples' dreams and/or their life.

i think the following is good advice: "you most certainly don't want to be at the bus depot trying to catch a bus when your boat comes in".

take a look at the "desiderata". it did me the world of good.

Answer 10

Sweetheart, its only the matter of what you tell yourself. If you tell yourself that you are a sweet, kind and loving person then automatically you will want to live up to that predicate and the images that you contribute to it.

Its all in the mind, and its called mindpower.