...Life imprisonment...?

Question

We were debating last two days on this issue of marraige and my partner told me marriage is life imprisonment to him, and he'll never encourage any friend of his to get into marriage. I wanna ask you guys, do u think as my friend that marriage is such a terrible thing to get into? I MEAN, i for one, its the most honourable and respectable thing i should do in life.

Answer 1

Marriage probably looks like "imprisonment" to a person who has an aversion to committment.

Too many people - mostly men - want to have "loose shoes" and a "back door" that is constantly open, so they can just bail out at the slightest hint of difficulty or problems.

We've been married almost 37 years and life is great. We love each other, support each other, enjoy great sex, and have a great friend with which to share our journey through life.

Guys that whine about marriage as being "restrictive" give me a rash. I tell them to get a set of nads and commit to something in their life. I wouldn't buy a used car or a bag of herb from any of them.

Answer 2

OK, so you have different perspectives.

Can you live with his view?

Does he have any reason to believe this?

I suspect he's seen plenty of bad marriages where folks don't work on their marriage and simply exist as roommates for years. Or guys get divorced by women (as women file approx. 2/3rds of divorces) just because she doesn't "feel" like she loves him anymore, takes 1/2 the stuff and probably the kids with no counseling and no prior warning that she was unhappy.

She may think she told him, but just like you have two different perspectives on the issue of marriage, you each have unique perspectives on what constitutes telling him.

So what can you do to validate his perspective, that's a good start, so he perceives that you accept where he is coming from, even if you don't agree.

Second, what can you do to make sure his fears don't come true?

Instead of telling him he is wrong for how he perceives marriage (it comes across that you are right, and he is wrong) try to find out how you can address his concerns about marriage.

Frankly, that's a far more respectable way to address this difference in views.

Answer 3

Marriages r easy to get into but very, very hard and painful to get out of. It can be a catch 22 situation. On one hand marriage is nothing more than a piece of paper. On the other, marriage is a means of showing Ur companion you truly love them, and only them. Whatever the case, before making a commitment I suggest you both live together for a X amount of years and C how things work out. If by the end of , say 5yrs you still love each other go 4 it..

Answer 4

I think that your partner is not ready for any commitment. He is using bad marriages as an excuse to not get married, which is sad.

Marriage is not terrible, it is a contract that a couple makes with one another and a contract unto God. Two becoming one. A commitment made to each other as well. A love filled relationship. Marriages are not perfect, but you can make it perfect in your eyes with your marriage. Just make sure you marry the right person and make sure you are ready for making that commitment to him.

Marriage is an honorable thing to God and a blessing. It is appreciation, respect, and love for each other, an ever lasting contract.

Answer 5

People these days for the most part get married for the wrong reasons or too quickly and they are foolishly short-sighted in thinking that everything will be fine after they tie the knot and then a year or two later they get a divorce.

I'm engaged and it took me a long time to decide but it came down to " I'll never find anybody more loyal and kind " and we've been together for over 3yrs. we share everything we are a team and we know and love eachother well so in that context I have no prob. w/marriage and I'll know we'll work out!!

Answer 6

Too bad your partner has not experience the real
marriage life. Being married for 20yrs it has been
the most satisfying moments of my life with my
wife. It all depends upon the couple and how
much they really love and are dedicated to each
other, both have to be equally involved in order for
it to work and when it does the foundation is as
solid as a rock. WHOW it sure feels good.

Answer 7

Marriage is a great thing, it shows your bondness and shows your love for each other, granted it is only a piece of paper...buuuut whether or not you are married if you are in a very well kept relationship, you are practically married. So yes marriage is great and your partner just has comittment issues. It is normal with guys though.

Answer 8

Personally I feel that marriage is a wonderful thing. Someone that you love to share your life with. A friend, lover, companion who can openly display their humanity without fear. Someone to look after and cherish.
Marriage gets my vote every time.
I remember a story about two people dying and waking up in adjacent cottages. One was a biker type and the other a little old lady. When they met they were discussing the afterlife and the little old lady was glad that she had gone to heaven whereas the biker was sure that he had gone to hell. Marriage is the same with some seeing it as heaven and some as hell. For me, it's heaven.

Answer 9

Life is all just trail and err. the only way to know if it right for u is to try it and see what happens. but then again do pressure him into any thing he don't want to do then it could very well end bad. if u think that it is the most Honorable thing and he don't then maybe u two r not the ones for each other. good luck with this and everything u do.

Answer 10

Well, I don't even know you! If I did know you, I wouldn't say anything and let you choose your own path. For some, marriage probably shouldn't be recomended. For others, it would be great. Of course, marriage isn't a wedding or the legal crap, it's commitment, I wonder if your friend or whatever he is, mentioned living together for life? That's marriage!