Why do I constantly think about leaving my wife but, I don't have the guts to?

Question

Whenever my wife and I get in an arguement(serious) with my wife, I literally pack up my stuff and ready to leave her. However, I never do cause she stops me from leaving. Everytime I see other women, I am interested in pursuing something with them. What exactly is it that I feel for this woman? My wife and I, we have 12 years in gap. There's so many things different about us which is fine but we are different points in our life. She says she is supportive of me even though I haven't started a career.

Any advice?

Answer 1

Every married couple will have there arguements!
And dont think that theres not a married guy out there that doesnt think about leaving there wife for that hot 21 year blonde!
But what it comes down too:
Is she betray'n you?(cheating,lying,and telling you your worthless)
If so, i would break up and fast once a cheating and lying starts it wont end!
But first try this....
Mix it up! If you are getting in fights over little things she probly bored!! Movies, dinner, a dog, a cat, make her dinner, wine and dine, take up hobbies.
But 12 years i would hope you could work it out!

Try to pray that always helps me during hard times!

Answer 2

She's in control and your not. Are you just buffing about leaving or do you really mean it, because it shows her that she can talk you into staying everytime. Who has the balls? You or her??
If you want to leave, LEAVE, both of you are playing a game (or her not knowing it) and its the excitement and adrenaline rush that she gets when you are about to walk out the door. She doesn't know this, but thats what she is thriving on. Age difference does play a factor. Statistics are not good for a relationship to last. She supports you because shes better off with you then without. Trust me, she won't find and keep any other man that will come in her life. They are gonna run and they won't even look back.
Get your freedom, Better find your guts soon or you'll be packing and unpacking for some time to come. Overall I think she knows how to manipulate you and your just a sucker for her, you don't feel anything for her. You fear the unknown. Take a chance, you never know until you try.

Answer 3

I would recommend to decide whether or not you want to be in the relationship. If so, try to concentrate on the things you love about your wife. It is so easy to see the irritating things, especially after you have been together for a while. Love is a decision and it's not always going to be like it is portrayed in the movies. If you leave, the things that bother you just might be the things you miss the most. Other women will always be appealing, but EVERYONE has their own idiosyncracies and baggage, you just haven't had the pleasure of finding out exactly what it is yet. Good luck.

Answer 4

Hmmm. Sounds like you've got a real problem here. Well, all I can say is this: if you and your wife feel that there is no use in this relationship, why bother even being married? If you don't feel the same way about her the day you felt when you got married, then why bother? She can't make you love her, if you don't. You can't force your heart to love her either, if you don't. But you know, marriage is always hard at first (if you guys just got married). I say, give it another chance, and if things don't work out, and you are really thinking of leaving, go ahead: walk away. But hang in there, and things will get better. :)

Hope this helps
and Best Wishes,
Amanda

Answer 5

If you really want to pursue other women and if you don't really love your wife you're doing neither of you any favors by staying. Look into your heart and decide what you really want and then do it. Don't waste your life in a loveless marriage, the longer you stay the harder it will be to leave. And if you find you do love her then work hard at making it work and don't pack those bags, work out your conflicts instead of threatening to leave.
Good luck to you !!!

Answer 6

Always starting something new is scary. We never accept change well. That could be one of the reasons that stops you from leaving. The fear of the unknown is another reason. Once you walk out that door you have no idea what will happen next. These fears and paralize us from moving forward.

You should also pay attention to what your mind is saying as it knows the answer but it is hard to catch our own thoughts as our minds are constantly mulling over what we should have, would have and could have done.

Answer 7

Face it you are not happy and not going to be....They reason that you 2 are still together is b/c that is what you are used too. It is what you are adapted too and if you change you will have to start all over and thats scary as to where you know her like a book and there is a certain comfort level there. I just went through this, just move on the both of you will apprectiate it in the long run,

Answer 8

Could be you really love your wife and could be your just comfortable with her. Sounds like you need to do some serious thinking about what you really want. And getting on with your career might be a big help to you, maybe you just need her. She must be supportive of you if you haven't started your career yet and she telling you she supports what you want to do.

Answer 9

Are you willing to seriously consider marriage counseling to help you and your wife get through this?

If not, pack your bags and leave - she deserves to not have to put up with your lack of dedication.

Marriage ain't a bed of roses - its a compromise between two adults. If both parties dont' come to the table to honestly discuss and compromise, then there is no marriage.

Good luck

Answer 10

End it now. Maybe you are not ready for a commitmet like this, I am guessing you are the younger one. She obvuiously wears the pants in the realationship, because she is preventing you from leaving. Maybe you were looking for a second mother.