my relationship with my boyfriend is good right now. he is very sweet and considerate now, but back then, he wasn't. we have a long history (1-2 yrs) of being up & down. one day he changed and later wanted to marry me but I dumped him for half a year because I wasn't ready. afterwards, we tried to make it work but he broke it off. he then moved on with another girl but he kept seeing me, and she wouldn't put out so he lied to me by telling me he was going to dump her, to get sex from me. I regret what I did till this day. Anyway he was a jerk to her and she dumped him (after a month). but he still didn't want a relationship with me and started dating someone else. That girl was too aloof though so he later decided that he wanted a relationship with ME. Now he is so sweet and just... perfect. The thing is, our past isn't anywhere NEAR perfect. I enjoy my time with him SO MUCH, but sometimes when I'm alone, the past haunts me so bad that I start crying out of nowhere.
WHAT SHOULD i DO??
2007-03-07 16:16:00 · 9 answers · asked by aMeNa_aCid* 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
This is such a good question and it hits home for me. I have felt the same way about my boyfriend. In the past he's done some things, and lied and I've gotten hurt badly by him. For a while I would have so much fun with him in the day, and then on my drive home or while I was falling asleep I would just cry and cry. I kept thinking of how much he hurt me and how he could lie to me so easily. I thought about how he could be lying to me now. Thinking like this made me so unhappy and I felt horrible a lot of the time.
One day I talked to my mom about it and she told me that I needed to let go of the past in order to move on into the future. She said that if I chose to forgive him and move on with him than I had to move on within myself. Since then I've tried to let go, and now I finally have. It's been a year since I decided that I needed to move on and I feel so much happier and healthier for it.
For a while I was cautious of his tendency to lie, so I did not chose to be blind to it. However, I don't let it keep me from being happy, I try not to be suspicious and I figure now, what happens happens and if it doesn't work out, I will know that I loved with my whole heart open. Luckily, he proved to ring true... he's changed how he views our relationship and no longer finds a reason to lie. (I tried to show him that he could tell me anything... and it worked!)
Since this, my boyfriend and I are still together and we've grown a lot stronger from this experience.
I hope this helps, best of luck to you!
2007-03-07 16:46:39 · answer #1 · answered by Curious Kim 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If things are good now, why should the past haunt you? The best thing to do is to let go of the past, because that is exactly where it should stay, IN THE PAST. Move forward, into the future. The two of you got back together for a reason. He's with you NOW. So let go! You'll be happier. Good luck!
2007-03-07 16:21:44 · answer #2 · answered by KOI 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seemes like in your past, you let him walk all over you, but you wanted a meaningful relationship so bad that you took it for so long until you finally had him.
Honey, i was in the EXACT same situation. This man i was with seemed like the man i wanted to be with forever, but he had sex with my friends, had a secret girlfriend in another state, and talked behind my back as if i was a HO. But after awhile, you see that you deserve better and that there are TONS of men out there who will treat you right..
My advice is to keep an eye on him, he may be messing with your heart again, but if you two have worked things out and are finally content, hope that your man finally saw the light!
Good Luck!
2007-03-07 16:24:15 · answer #3 · answered by Kaya808 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you really think he's awesome to be with, but sometimes you remember the past and wonder if you were his third choice? Tell him you don't want to be anyones third and you want to clear it up before you fall any further for him.
He should fess up. (Or at least come up with a good line to get you in bed again,) in which case you're no worse off than we started.
2007-03-07 16:21:19 · answer #4 · answered by imbrngnsexybak 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You cant change the past but you can build for the future....Take it slow for now. People do mature though some us slower than others. Whats the big hurry anyway?
2007-03-07 16:20:02 · answer #5 · answered by rokdude5 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hard life experience from an(probably)older man. The past is what it is, the past. Let it go and move on with now.
2007-03-07 16:27:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly his sweet... secondly his a jerk... thirdly he comes back to his stupid sweetness cant u see the diff now?? his a jerk so tell him to buzz off n go ahead with a new life!!
2007-03-07 16:19:53 · answer #7 · answered by Mighty 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Think positive, think future,make new friends & keep yourself busy. Good luck!
2007-03-07 16:46:05 · answer #8 · answered by glover 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
UNBORN TOMORROW. DEAD ARE YESTERDAY. WHY FRET ABOUT TODAY IF THY BE HAPPY.
2007-03-07 16:24:32 · answer #9 · answered by anne j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋