For those of you who are divorced?

Question

What made you decide to divorce? I mean, other than the usual infidelity, abuse, those things that are deal breakers, why did you finally call it quits? And how long had you been married? How old were you when you got married and divorced? Are you happier now that you did, or do you regret it? If you have kids, how old were they when it happened and how did it effect them? Are you an your ex still able to communicate wthout arguing?

Answer 1

got married for the wrong reasons and realized it; we both wanted different things out of our lives; 8 years; 24 married 32 divorced; definitely happier after getting divorced; Haven't regretted one minute of it; have only talked to my ex a handful of times over the years. 2 children; 2 and 5 at the time; 18 and 21 now; I did a great job raising them!

Answer 2

it wasn't the infidelity, or the verbal abuse that caused the divorce, it was when i asked him to reconsider as we spoke over the phone, but because his mistress was right there listening he felt the need to repaint the whole marriage, say it was all bad, the entire 10 years, he had to hurt me even more than i was already hurt, it was the lies he told so the mistress could feel confident that the marriage was truly over that made me decide that we had to end it. it was the words he spoke that he didn't have to say, it was his attitude towards me. and when i reminded him that there was a time when we loved each other and were happy all i got was silence, as if the cat had gotten his tongue. no we don't communicate we never will, it did effect the children, all of them, they were step kids, but they lost their house, my son lost his mom because she had to move away. yes the changes were hard on me, there are days when i regret it, but what is one suppose to do when they can't communicate because there is a mistress standing there right over him listening to see if he says anything that might show he was the least but remorseful or sorry for what he had done.there were no winners here, everyone lost and yes there are still regrets, but my new life works for me and i don't have to deal with the rejection or hurt, or see them anymore.

Answer 3

She was a liar. 10-years. The end was when she did things for other men in the rack she wouldn't do for me after 10-years of paying the bills with a side of not getting a dime for the children she left me with but she was worried about paying half the rent to Mr. stud service -- the herpes she got from the underage busboy didn't help matters much either and she blamed me for that (imagine that). Got married at and divorced at 28.

Of cource I'm MUCH more happy then I ever dreamed and her being gone is why I tag myself as made it. The two kids she eventually manupulated me out of have turned out to be selfish liars just like there mother, one got knocked up twice and married twice befor age 22 and the other has blamed two seperate fiance's for being abusive when in rality she was cheating on them at the same time they were planning weddings.

I don't communicate with the *****, she's worthless, and it does no good. You can't change the stripes of a selfish liar that blames other people for her selfish lies.

Answer 4

I didn't decide to divorce, my ex-husband did. He had found someone else, and simply declared one day he wanted a divorce. We met when I was in my early 20s, and got divorced after 3.5 years of marriage, and a total of 5 years of being together. We didn't have any kids. At the time, it was devastating, but now I can't imagine myself with him; I have grown and change a lot since we first met. I am now married to a wonderful person, and am so thankful to my ex for walking out on me when he did. I don't hold a grudge, we are on good terms and still keep somewhat in touch, 6 years after the divorce.

Answer 5

I divorced because my husband was emotionless towards me and our kids. His job was always priority #1, next came his leisure activities, and then his family. We were married 12 years. My kids were 12 and 9. We got married when we were both 26, we were 38 at divorce. It was a major struggle for a while because he wouldn't pay child support. My kids were happier with me than they were with both parents. My ex and I don't communicate at all, and he only sees his kids on Christmas (their choice). He only lives 7 blocks away.

Answer 6

I dealt with abuse, cheating, theft, drugs, gambling......you name it he did it. I was so depressed and felt worthless. He eventually divorced me (and regretted it). I am soooo glad he did. He is now in prison for selling drugs. I have sent him financial help on occassion and magazines and things and we are on good terms. I wish I had the strength to divorce him sooner when so much of my life would not have been wasted. I am 47...we were married 8 years....got divorced about 4 years ago (no kids....unless you want to count him). Presently engaged

Answer 7

Life is never the same without your first mate.
Try to work it out because you divorce in a hurry and regret it the rest of your life.
Everyone suffers, you , the kids, the in laws, your family, his family....even the dog loses.
Stuff gets split...children's loyalties have to split.
it is better to say you forgive someone..beg for forgiveness and make amends...do not throw it all away so quickly.
God hates a divorce..and now I know why...because it causes pain..deep pain.
It is very sad for the one that is innocent. But all is not lost if they work it out.

Answer 8

My first and I had an amicable divorce after over 25 years of marriage; the kids were grown and gone. Our interests had changed, and we decided to split. The ex hosted Christmas Eve dinner for our kids, me, and my current spouse; it was very nice.

Answer 9

After the birth of our son my wife lost interest in sex, after he was two years old I started getting verbal abuse about speaking to my son in Thai rather than English (she was Thai and my son mainly spoke Thai). After another two years she started following a Buddhist / Animist sect. She refused to discuss any of the issues and constantly told me that if I didn't like it I could leave. Six years after my sons birth I took her advice.
We still can communicate and actually get on quite well on the level of friendship.

Answer 10

Husband and I married 5 1/2 yrs ago. I was 22 (almost 23), and he was 24. Sadly, it was over 5 yrs of emotional abuse from him. I was 25 when we had our daughter and things seemed to get worse. He bad-mouthed my family, but always wanted me to ask them for help when there was something we needed. He constantly reminded me that my parents were only out to take our daughter from us. He declared my best friend a bad influence because she started dating her current bf only a month after the break-up with the last and then had the audacity to make me feel like a bad person for still socializing with her. He got involved with some kid in the neighborhood who was ripping off stores and houses and started to store the stolen goods for the kid, while I was at work and he was unemployed. When I became aware of the situation, he told me that I would go to jail too and lose my daughter for good since I "lived there too and should've known better." When it was discovered that warrants had been put out for our arrests (for the stolen goods), he told me that no one would believe that I had nothing to do with it, and that CPS would take our daughter and not even my family could get her. He got me to hop a greyhound bus and took me 2000 miles away from my family where the only friends I could have were his friends and their gf's. Any friends I made were not allowed in the home because he "did not want people he didn't know in his house." Expected me to pick up after him all the time, like dumping his work clothes in the living room and not bothering to pick them up. Apparently since he was at work, this was my job. My daughter started picking up his habits. She began ordering me around and refusing to pick up her stuff. When my family finally got in contact with us, and told us that a lawyer could help us but we needed to come back, he said that neither of us were leaving and that my parents were only trying to get us to come back to throw us in jail and take our daughter. By then I found out I was pregnant with our second child (we were using protection, so i have no idea how this one happened). He refused to help me find proper medical care and even told me that the new baby would get taken and so would our daughter since "not having pre-natal care is considered abuse...and when they take the kids, don't expect any help from me!" I finally told my mom that I wanted to come home. Arrangements were made. I stayed with him through X-mas, but was infuriated by the fact that he went and spent $300 on a mini-motorcycle, but felt that he could not afford to get our daughter her immunizations (which were only $100) and left me $91 for groceries and to get our child X-mas presents. So, while he was at work, I packed a few boxes, a few suitcases, and a close friend of the family who lived in the city (I had no idea) came to get me and my daughter and we hopped a plane to go home. We have only been home now for 2 months. My soon to be ex constantly tells me that he's going to kill himself and that the police are looking for me. He tells me that I am a kidnapper and a bad mother. But then he will tell me that he still cares for me and that my parents are polluting my mind. He is a manipulator and a liar. I got the warrant taken care of here in our home state, and I am ok. No one put me in jail and no one has taken my daughter from me. Any charges against me have been dropped. The detectives involved made it clear in their report that I had nothing to do with the situation, and even the kid who was stealing the stuff said I was not involved. I feel like a horses a s s for believing him, but he used the one thing against me that he knew would work: MY daughter.